I met my girlfriend in January on a speeddate. I assumed for about 4 weeks that she was also dating other guys, and I dated another women also.

I never told her about this because the first 4 weeks she would date me and then break up the following day for three times. So because everything was so unstable, I kept my options open, like any good PUA would do.

I never felt guilty about this, but I never told her also, because it would only stress her and I didn't find it very relevant (I only kissed the other date, but I was very reluctant).

However, we are now 3 months down the line and when we had our holiday, I kind of made a mistake when we were talking about our dating phase. I accidentally said that I did date another woman, but then took it back. Because back then in the first three weeks I lied about that. She quickly agreed about this, like she didn't want it to come out either or talk about it. So perhaps she is guilty about this also.

Now I have started an ethical duscussion about this on the forum in the time that I was dating them both, and the best piece of advice I got, was that lying was OK, because I have the right to be sure about the women I want to have a relationship with. And as soon as I was sure, I was 100% monogamous and honest. This was 4 weeks after meeting her, and I already told the other one it was off.

But, after the holiday, this stupid guilt thing keeps creeping up on me. Growing like a cancer in my shiny relationship. Last night I couldn't even sleep! Damn this.

I feel like if I tell her she will panic, because she is very hurt by her ex who cheated on her and is very jealous. And I think the date ment nothing to me and I don't want to lose her over this. Yet the guilt keeps gnawing.

So?

1. Should I man up and live with the lie. In order to have a happy relationship.
2. Should honesty go above and beyond, and should I take the leap of faith and see how she reacts?

Love to hear some opinions/experiences. I'd hate to lose more sleep over this nonsense!

thanx

Buccaneer

P.S. I'm seeing my girl next friday and am still doubting

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

I would definitely not tell her.
You weren't "steady" back then, so what's the point? You've been 100% honest and monogamous since the day you made the decision you want a LTR with her. You haven't even slept with the other girl. I don't think you should beat yourself up over this. She was having second thoughts back then, you kept your options open, what's wrong with that? She also would obviously rather not talk about that phase, so take that hint and leave the matter alone. Relax, you're not doing anything wrong.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.