Hey guys, I understand that work relationships are never a good idea, yet this HB10 is too good to pass up. I'm a chef and she is one of the waitresses, and I must say there is an extreme amount of flirting going on. We went out one time after work with some other friends but I failed to seal the deal, I really felt like I blew it. She is still very touchy feely with me though(sometimes in sexual ways) and I still receive way too many IOIs to count.

My problem is that she has bailed on me 5 times now over the last 2 months. We set up plans, and then she won't answer her phone, respond to texts or even call when she has to cancel. She just flat out flakes. The first two times I let it go as she claimed her phone died.

I proceeded to freeze her out, which was hard to do considering we work together, and I thought it worked because after the two times that I have frozen her out, she came back even more aggressive than before.

So what the hell is this girls problem!? Is she a straight up tease? I am struggling with this girl...

Yea dude, she's probably a flirt. In my experience, the girls who flirt the hardest are often the ones who are most likely to flake.

You gotta have more self-esteem man, if a girl flakes on you FIVE times, why would you still chase her. I personally don't like dealing with bullshit, so if a girl doesn't respond 3 times then I move on. Done. MAYBE I'll hit her up out of nowhere somewhere down the line just to see what happens, but I definitely quick actively pursuing.

*quit actively pursuing

Something's... fishy about her?

Sorry, just saw the movie Dagon:



I agree, pull back and let her come to you if she wants, or drift away if she wants.

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When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

Personally, if I have not slept with a girl, I don't plan "dates" in advanced. I just text random bullshit so we stay in touch.

Then I shoot a text "Hanging out at xxxxx you should come out and hang out." This is towards evening around between 6 and 7.

I think you hit this one on the head. I've started talking to other girls (especially the other waitresses) and I'm definitely going to ignore this broad. Worst case scenario nothing changes since I'm pretty much donezo at this point.

She's a tease... aka "no girlfriend material"... treat her as such

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

Arrange a few more dates with her but as a group of friends then a couple of hours before the date flake on her by text saying that she wouldn't fit in as the people you would be going out with feel she would be uncomfortable as they are a very successful crowd. Keep doing this using as criteria for the flake something important to her identity. After you flake on her 5 times arrange a date or coffee straight from work together ensuring that a lot of people at work know about it.

???? What the fuck are you expecting to accomplish with this?

I don't even start to see how this is supposed to atract her...

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

The pre-supposition now is that the HB10 has the higher value in the interaction as she keeps flaking on the date: all attraction is based on "status"
This deframes her model of the world by dropping a hierachial fracture (Maslow) into her reality which she can obviate only by constructing a pattern of commitment which must be piggybacked to her core belief systems-as people are more motivated by threats to their identity (as a hot HB who is the selector) than moving towards something they desire.

This in total creates : DHVs of Scarcity, higher social status, Implied negs of her social status and value.

Also by taking her out from work she has to flake in person (more difficult) and it sets up consistency frame as everyone else will know about it.

Well, I admit that what you say makes some logical sense.
Still, I personally don't believe that theory of status being source of atraction (not the main one, at least)


In any case, I think flaking on her 5 times would be too much, 2 or 3 should be enough (just my opinion)

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

you calling me a fat ugly girl? hahaha jokes but seriously you make a good point.

I failed to mention that she bought me drinks to keep me around after work to keep her company one night, and when I finally said it was time to go we arranged to meet up after her shift was over at like midnight, but that was one of the flaked nights...

She invested about 25 bucks over 2 hours which I found rather confusing. I have yet to spend a cent and I plan on keeping it that way as long as possible. I hate buying anything for girls unless I am having sex with them.

I don't think I understand your last comment though Da Veed. The one about punishing her. I don't understand how that makes me look like a sad puppy.

As much as I appreciate you playing the devils advocate and finding the holes in the current ideas, maybe you could present an idea as to what I should do.

My 2 cents: Stop caring, she is not worth it.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

"If a fat ugly girl arranged a get together and convinced you to come, and later did the ^above to you, how would you feel?"

Hardly an accurate interpretation, The HB10 obviously has some attraction for him otherwise there would be no flirting.

An HB10 is a strange goose to deal with :They flake, walk out of restaurants on dates, arrange three dates all for the same night, get guys to do or buy things for them and pretty much do what they want...Why? Because they can.

When someone flakes an HB10 off it totally flips her reality upside down : this never ever happens.

The first time he flakes will get an "Oh" response and she may text back "No worries" but the seed is sown.

The second time he flakes she will be annoyed and maybe go on a date with someone else to get some validation, but in the back of her mind it plays on her " maybe I will go on the date just so I can blow him off"

Third time he flakes now she gets a bit annoyed and even tells her friends "Who the fuck does he think he is" but her reality is shakey now she wants to "prove" herself to you. : she will def go on a date now but it still could go either way.

Fourth time you flake she will be properly annoyed at you and not speak to you for days. When you do start speaking again (which she will engineer) she will be a total AFC. Do a soft flake were you have to cancel for reasons out of your control for the fifth (CALIBRATED ; The fifth is a guideline not a rule)

My ex in my early 30's was a photographer and sometimes used to bring out HB10's with her when we went clubbing from the agency (fucking huge preselection lol!) And they would blow off all these lovable losers approaching them without a thought while getting all upset about some guy who treated them like shit. It boggled my brain I can tell you.

But I do remember- getting flaked on was a very, very serious matter. They might laugh it off but it strikes deeply into their psyche.

Something huge happened last night.

She waited on a table that had my HB9 ex-gf seated at. Since this is a fairly newer job my ex asked if I worked there and HB10 said yes followed later by them having a conversation which I can presume was about me because HB10 came back and teased me with the fact that she had just met my ex and chatted with her.

Me and my ex broke up on terrible terms. Lots of bad blood there.

How can I use this to my advantage? So far all I have come up with is the idea that her seeing this HB9 is some sort of DHV because it shows I have been with another high end woman.

What else can be taken from this?