I have friends who have cheated before. I have friends who got caught and those who didn't. But what all have in common is that its not worth it.

The ones who did get caught regret it for the obvious reasons.

But the ones who didn't, feel anxious way to much. Yes part of it is getting caught. But another part is they care about their girl and they know they have disrespected her.

So what to do?

Take a break, or break up. There is so much less stress long term this way. It let's you really find out if you care about the girl your with or not. It puts things into perspective.

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Now offering 1-on-1 in person counseling in NYC. For more info, send a PM

i think if you are gonna cheat, id break up with the girl js for a sign of respect. lol js my opinion.

cheating is horrible.

it destroys any semblance of trust that you have in that person.

there is no reason for it.

only immaturity, selfishness, and lack of empathy.

you wanna be ^that^ type of person?

hell no! i don't!

people should just break up or quit being exclusive.

cheating is never justified.

AND rarely, IF EVER, forgivable.

imho

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

If you are interested in someone else then what you currently have is not worth holding on to...if it were, you wouldn't be interested in bangin out someone else!

Let's put the shoe on the other foot for a sec though, what if you found out she wanted to slide down another man's pole...how would you feel...dumb question, but would you be ok with it...Not the mere fact of her doing it...but finding out that she is contemplating it...it would suck ass!

Long story short, let her go, it's the best thing for both of you.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

Are love and lust never mutually exclusive?

i was with a woman exclusively for twelve years. i never cheated on her.

did i have sexual thoughts about other women? hell yes. damn near all of them.

^ that's ^ human.

did i have actual sex with any of them? hell no.

^ that's ^ inhuman.

there are people who make that leap, chief, to live in a world where "love" and "lust" are mutually exclusive. aka - swingers. i don't judge them, but i couldn't do it. there is no way that i could love a woman with all my heart and endorse her and i having sex with other people.

life is about choices. not about theories. in theory anything is possible. in life only two options are possible. (besides the swinger doctrine)

choice #1 - be with a woman, be faithful, embrace your human nature and sexual feelings that you may have toward others, don't act on it, instead focus your love and sexual desire onto your wife/gf

choice #2 - be with a woman, don't be faithful, act on your animal impulses and have sex with other people, destroy your relationship

make no mistake, all debate aside, these ARE your two choices in life, as far as relationships go. anything else is purely nonsense.

so, at some point, a person has to decide: do i want this relationship? or do i want to fuck random people? can't have both (unless you are a swinger) period.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Hmm cheating is fine. Destroy your moral compass its all bullshit societal programming anyways. Now am I telling you to cheat...no...and I telling you not to...no. the only reason you would feel anything in that sitch is all ego. You feel like guilt if you do it (I usually don't), but you don't need to. Next...if a girl im with wants to fuck another guy...im not completely ok with that RIGHT now...but I want to be. I don't want to be held back or hold anyone else back from any awesomeness life throws. Meaning if I was with a girl n she met an incredible guy in the bookstore n fucked in the bathroom both left n that was that...I would want to be excited for her. Also I would want the same respect...now once u realize that sex is inherent in all manifestation, ie electrons swap atoms all the time n adam never seems to complain I think its more about living the life that makes you happiest n not placing any restrictions on yourself or anyone else, but then again I am definitely not the normal relationship guy.

I have an ex-girlfriend who told me that she never thought of any other guys in a sexual way while we were in our relationship. My current girlfriend is probably the same way.

Have any of you guys ever been in a relationship where you didn't think of any other women in a sexual way? Do you know any guys who might have? Although evolutionary psychology tells us that it's in the nature of man to spread his seed by wanting to fuck as many women as possible, could it ever be possible for a man to lust for only his significant other?

I'm not really trying to make a point here; I'm just curious about this.

When I'm in a relationship, I give the woman my fullest commitment. I can honestly say I do not look at other women in a sexual way, and I have known a few other guys who feel the same way. I realize that some people might perceive this as being naive, but it's just the way I work.

That's very intriguing. Do you find that this happens automatically or do you have to force yourself to not become physically attracted to other women?

Do you think your ability to keep your lust monogamous is a result of nature or nurture?

It happens automatically, and I know that it is a result of nurture.

You should address the issues of why you are thinking about cheating. Usually its because something is lacking in the relationship. If it cant be fixed and the urge to cheat still remains, is there really much point in staying in the relationship if a key factor to your happiness will always be missing?

I've never had the urge to cheat, I've always been emotionally and sexually satisfied
Frankly I don't understand people who cheat, at least split up with them first.

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Heisenberg.

same here

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

You're describing an open relationship are you not?

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- Lux et Veritas -