This stunning girl I've been speaking with for 3 months is hot and cold she likes me but when we meet and go to work together she flirts and that is it and never kisses me. She used to call me everyday and we were like bf/gf. About month ago she told me she didn't want a boyfriend but then she continued to talk dirty/flirt and act alright.

She says she talks to guys on facebook and it's fun getting the attention etc etc. Makes me think she is playing me but at the same time she says she is single and doesn't want a relationship. FWB seems to be more in her mind I think.

We spoke Monday night and she had a few drinks but she seems interested again. Something came up in conversation, and I said "Am I family now" and she goes "do you want to be family" and then I said "you never know, you never know" and she goes "what do you mean you never know" lol

I checked her Facebook mobile uploads and there is a pic of her hugging this guy, while her friend is taking the snap from her car. Pose looked way to romantic plus I've seen the guy flirting with her hard on FB and she flirts back. One message her status was "aww I'm well happy right now" and he wrote under "likewise x" and she put two kisses.

On Monday, she was around my area Tuesday and said last night if she could do something early she will, if not we could a bit later and we will speak. She was really positive and friendly near the end of the call and was like "cya babe, k babe" lol. THEN I phone at about 1:30 pm,nothing,txt her to let me know when she is done no reply, phoned again nothing.

Then on facebook(about 20 minutes after I called her) she said she just got home on her profile status and changed her profile pic to a modified version of the pic with this guy, with his face/body cut out and just her but you see his arms around her waste and a tiny bit of his face.

It just seems like she was doing that to annoy me as she put that picture up when she got back and then it was changed again about 12 hours later.She wrote in her status "Needs a man to look after me, to chill with me to give me cuddles but not to moan......."

Obviously talking bout me cos I tried to contact her she knows I was wondering, plus I do complain alot! I like her alot but her behavior is out of control. On Facebook she says she is off to work and then she txt me a bit later asking me if I was working, I wasn't, It was a bit late anyway.

Txt her again last night saying I was thinking or her and she txts back something irrelevant(as usual) sahing how she was psised of at work and then asked me if I was working. I don't know what to do next with this one, any ideas?

I'm gonna dissect your post and focus on what i think are the keypoints.. You did mention this other guy a shit ton-
- but realize that you are NOT trying to sleep with him..you ARE trying to sleep with "her".
- Perfect.. Stop giving her attention unless she's interacting with you. Example: if she's at home and complaining about how she was "pissed at work" - say.. "Yeah i saw how you.." *Click*.. Now she wants to know what you saw about her.. This will effectively use what she wants, against her, to inspire massive amounts of attraction. YOU DO NOT want to "flat out ignore her".. Your intentions are to "almost" give her the attention she wants, then do something to interrupt the delivery.
- This literally sounds like you've gotten too comfortable with masturbation.. Why would you ask her if you were family? Family doesn't fuck family, atleast not in my case.. Maybe you come from a different culture.. I would highly recommend you avoid doing this again. And here's why: Look at how you put your foot in your mouth when she followed up: "You never know, you never know"..
- This is a red-flag that this girl doesn't have a priority in her head about you. Think about it - she's gonna call you IF she's free.. BULLLSHITTTTT! Anyone who is strongly attracted to someone will instantaneously make time. Even if they are playing games by being resistant - they will free up that calendar spot for you. So find something that will stick in her head.. Like say: "Is that a new purse?" and when she looks at you strange, say: "Look call me gay all you want, but i think you'd look even better with a blue purse"... Now she doesn't know whether to take it with a compliment (cause you noticed something most guys won't comment on), but she doesn't know if your fucking with her either.. So effectively, you just got inside her head - everytime she carries that purse/looks at it/etc - she's gonna have a subconscious reaction to think of you.. ESPECIALLY if what you do really blows her away.. Pick something that doesn't happen often and give it a whirl.
- Please don't take this offensively.. But "Shut the fuck up" in a literal sense. Don't give her clues as to how you feel about what she's doing. This is exactly what we were talking about under the first quote - regarding how she likes to feel guys chasing her.. Your complaining is FEEDING her desire.. The minute you take that away, she's gonna start looking for new ways to make you "want her" again.
- Look at the last paragraph... Now, never do what's in this quote, ever again - until you've fucked her.

Cheer for that but how did you think she took the "you never know" thing? she replied to me in a girly voice as if to say "what you mean, you don't want to be with me long term!!"

When I asked her about family I just meant like how close she is towards me. Anyone who meets the woman of there dreams and gets married probably felt like that person was like "family" early on, and would want to start a "family" with them. That's what I meant when I said that to her.

I also read alot of stuff on here during my time with this girl and have done well to not complain or be to jealous even when she was pushing my buttons. The things I do complain about are work and people etc. Those are the things that I tend to talk about and she usually starts it off.

You are right about her making excuses to meet me. She even said when she LJBF me that I should of realised when she flaked all those times that she wasn't interested in a relationship. So anyway that was like a month ago I was LJBF but it seemed there was still hope and her IOIs were getting stronger. The only thing different is lack of phonecalls but I guess this is her way of showing me we are not in a relationship.

Not to be a dick, but you sound like the type of guy who would bring a girl you have known forever to a party n she would be sucking dick in the bathroom while u looked for her...with that being said here's what you do to stop being that guy...

One u have known her for three months, she flirts, and u have never made a move why?? Next...am I family?!? Wtf?! Who wants to be this bitch's family?! I just wanna fuck...that's super arc bro, who gives a shit if she likes u as long as she Fucks u. Two...you seem like u r way to available! You are her little play thing, you are her moodle. The guy who will go shopping with her, hold her bags, n look like a dog when she dangles the idea of sex in front of you. Next you don't own her. Why should she NOT go out n look for sexual partners?! You haven't even ever kissed her...n im sure u sent some little pissy text to her like "way to hit me up last nite" something that screams im desperate and about u. I would put alot of money on the fact that she has already deselected u as a possible fuck, but likes to know she could have u. I also bet u r scared to be sexual around her which means u never will be. I would never have said am I family...but if I did n she asked if I wanted to be id say somethin like "id consider kissing cousins " I know it probably sounds like im laying into u n I don't mean to be. Im just pointing out things u may not be seeing, plus I know those r probably the parts u wanna kill of urself anyways. Now...should u drop her...*grabs megaphone* GET RID OF THIS BITCH

She doesn't want to be with u. She makes u an option while u r waiting around. She already fucked that guy u saw in the picture cause he pulled the trigger. She may or may not (id say stop being so egotistical she could've fucked that guy n then found out he is a pussy who knows???) have clowned u on fb...do I really have to keep going???
What you need in life is more confidence n sexuality. Any girl I meet will know im a very sexual person. I lace what I say with sexual undertones, im flirtatious, n im "just a handsy guy". Also, when it comes to girls make yourself less available. I will purposefully NOT hang out with girls when they ask, cause I know the excitement will build n if they tried to see u thewill again. Then when I do see them, I double down on sexual tension n have a much better time. Also 3 months sound like a crazy amount of time tolive in fantasy land..what I mean by that is a girl knows if she really wants to fuck u pretty immediately. It shouldn't take u 3 months to attempt tokiss her. In 3 minutes she knows if u r acceptable...then u just have to play correctly. If u r got her number n r kicking it with her u should make everything tied to sex, n not just sex, sex with you. She says "I love chocolate" you say "ya it can be fun, but you'll have to clean my bed when we r done " don't try to make it this secret plan u have that u want her. Lether know...if she is into it she will be giggling like a school girl telling u how bad u r (n how much she likes it).

*drifting because I just read ur 2nd post n edit is this next section...

So she ljbfed u n u still talk to her?!?!? Fuck her dude...also she didn't start giving u strong ioi's...u started viewing what she was doing as ioi's. Like she told u she wanted to be friends n from the sound of it she sat u down n it was a little thing...in her head she has clearance to toy with u cause she told u what's good. Like...if u hadn't been ljbfed n first went to her apartment n she changed in front of u slowly....ioi ..if she ljbfed u n she happened to change her shirt in front of u...NOT ioi u know what I mean? N ya girls don't wanna hear about how u wanna marry them...they wanna hear how u r gonna fuck them silly n they want u too. I bet u half gamed her too didn't u...u like tried somethings n she thought u were interesting. Then u were scared n didn't try to escalate or make any moves n later wondered what was up. You pulled the afc of realizing u couldn't just fuck her so u like told her u liked her n whatever n then that's when shesat u down n ljbfed u?? I know it went alot like that for u...it went alot like that for me ONE time in life *gasp shocked looks from the crowd* it definitely blows...but u gotta get her out. She is toxic, she knows how to play u, n u havnt developed the confidence n game to notgeg played yet...so just run away n never lookback. If she hits u up becheery as fuck n never able to see her cause u r living an incredible live that she's not lucky enough to be a part of it. If she creeps ur fb...only dhv updates...u rnt tryin to game this Bitch because chances r even if she later gave u a chance u would afc it up cause she knows how to play u. Instead u gaming her consists of doing whatever to make her think I shoulda banged him before he was too cool for me n that's it.

Again...its alot of tough love...I hope it helps.

Whatever you must be getting everything I said there twisted. I'm actually a stoic kinda guy but I flirting like crazy and make her laugh with my dirty talk. I've gone up to her and said shit like "When you're down doing it once I see those brown eyes, I'm gonna explode, and you better open your mouth otherwise it's going to go everywhere!" other C/F shit when like for one day she had chest pains, I was like "have u got a pain in ur heart? maybe its cause ur talking to me"

Shit like that and she literally opens up her eyes. You know what though I don't blame you for that reply I didn't tell you anything positive about my game because I'm stuck thinking about her messed up behavior. OK keep that above post in mind but trust me dude I get this girl laughing like crazy, I'm cocky and funny and hard to read.

My downfall is chasing a bit too much and showing I care a bit too soon. I have made out with her, we made out on our date then the following week she forced herself around my house to give me a Birthday card and made out with me and I had only known her for week.

She flaked all the other days and then for the next six weeks she just called me nearly everyday and was getting warmer but I had to wait intil work intil I saw her. Now keep in mind I've said some cocky and funny shit but she still behaves that way, and troll me if you want but who knows if that guy in the pic fucked her he might have but I'm sure she was trying to piss me off with that pic.

Listen bro, she flaked on me everyweek for like 5 weeks it had nothing to do with how I was on the phone she was calling me every other day and like you said above I would drop sexual talk in at the drop of a hat. One thing like "I like how you're not arrogant, you're not up your ass, But....I'm gonna be!!"

Some of the shit was easy for me because I'm really good at voices/impersonations. I didn't spam any of that shit either. I had her sweet calling me baby how she missed me up intil one little thing.

Some doucebag at her work started taunting me telling me how she called him 10 times. The guy is ugly anyway but knew him a couple of months. I told her about this one day(like second conversation of the day) and she got fucking defensive as if I was jealous or she was put on the spot but the way I mentioned it to her wasn't even like I was bothered.

The way I felt, I was more worried she was going to feel uncomfortable and when she explained me why she called him(something to do with work) she told me how she doesn't have to explain herself to anyone and when the guy was asking me how serious me and her were that I should of told him we are friends and nothing more. I said to her "Is that what it is?" I could sense the anger in her voice and we nearly got into an argument. 4 days later and a couple of drunk conversations on my part and she LJBF me. We were having a good laugh, HB10 who plays Call Of Duty....can't go wrong eh?

The fact that I see her at work is hard. Whatever happens it's going to be a battle. We both know we have chemistry, she has her reasons for not wanting her relationship but brings up sex alot with me and shows me she is down for FWB. Although I know that I would want alot more because she is the kind of girl for me.

- Pay attention to this quote in the rest of this follow-up
- Honestly, this guy was just a jealous tool who doesn't "get it".. Maybe he does "get it" but realized you don't, so he wanted to protect his friend.. WHATEVER THE CASE -> Outside people don't matter unless they are trying to improve the time you have with her.. E.g. her friends, or maybe some random stranger who's female.. maybe an old couple your bantering with to show your a family-guy.. the possibilities are endless.. But pissing matches will only distract you from the real goal which is already deeply rooted in your brain, fucking her.
- So what, you got a little pissy with her friend.. it happens, there are ways to recover.. But when you say "a couple of drunk conversations" in the context you said above, i have to assume that you felt the conversations shouldn't have been sent.. Now take it from her perspective -> "This guy is already protective about me, and we aren't even beyond a friendship; he's fighting other guys to get my attention, what a needy idiot; and now he's sending me a bunch of disturbing conversations? GREAT! Found myself another creeper".. You want to refrain from what will push women away - which basically is anything to say you're interested. Think about it - all these guys on this forum, all your friends, and all their friends.. Even your grandparents that are "looking for a relationship" are hitting on one another - but if you have qualities women can see (which represent value to them) (e.g. Talking to the old couple nearby and making them laugh / busting their balls; being adventurous or social; having a lifestyle that YOU love; etc) - then this girl is gonna say: "WHAT THE FUCK! How can i attract every guy in this room BUT 'him'!?!?!"... It's gonna get in her head again. Minutes later, she's gonna try to gain your attention - when you show her that you will give her a little attention but then pull it back (like i explained in my previous post) then you are saying: "Yeah i'm interested, but i'm not sold"... Most guys are "sold" just cause she's an HB10 who plays call of duty.. Whoopdie doo! You can find HB20's that do a lot more than that. ;D
- Read your first quote.. You're already "hooked" into her.. If your gonna successfully attract and keep HB10's it's gotta be the other way around. That comes from not being readily available, not directly showing that your interested (until you're fucking them).. and so forth.

Is chasing this girl really worth your time? She sounds really wishy-washy.. If she's the "girl for you" maybe you should reconsider what qualities that girl would possess.. I mean, why would the "girl for you" be trying to "piss you off" (your own words).. and other things like that?? No sense in playing the games man, just pointing out the fact that i think you would have better chances with a new candidate.

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Hey buddy let me say this first of all n hopefully eleviate(sp) any tension...I wasn't tryin to be mean or anything, I was just trying to give the best advice possible with the information I was given. I have played sports all my life n "yelling" at people is one good way I know how to communicate points(n I may have been laying into a 5 yr older version of myself )

That being said, why did u not progress from making out to fucking her(more for ur thoughts not an answer unless u find one)? Also, I understand the c/f shit, but if she is calling u all the time, coming to you, making out with u, n bringing cards to u...why r u not sticking something in her? Most girls I meet and fuck, I fuck within the first week. Im not shocked she wants to make out withme a couple times in the first week...im shocked if she doesn't want to the firstnightt. I probably soundedharsh earlier n I didn't mean to be, I just was more thinking....wtf is this kid doing its been three months?! I still stick to my original comments tho...the best revenge is a good life...let her see u having a great time n when she asks about being a part of it say sure I will def call u it will begreat....n never call. Fuck her she had her chance. I imagine the drunk convos were a big loss n the kid above me summed it up pretty spot on so read that. Also, I wasn't trying to clown u on her fucking the other dude, I just wanted to make it clear it doesn't matter if she did. If she isn't tryin to be win u why wouldn't she find other guys?? Finally, u dont know she fb'd some shit JUST to mess with u...that's super egotistical and incorrect. If you think logically, you will realize you can only give probabilities to what she is thinking based on what u know about her, and everything you know about her is filtered through your own prejudices. You will never know certainly what she meant, just makes the best guess based on ur info n what u know. With that said...im not saying she didn't mean it to mess with u...just that u dontknow for sure n if u don't know for sure, there is no reason to fuck with ur head over it.

In conclusion I stick by my fuck her. The fact u brought up the other guy n had drunk convos demonstrated alot of lower value. This guy was probably not a threat or even close to a challenge, but by bringing him up, you elevated him to that status. Learn in the future that you don't own your girls, and you don't care to. Instead its much better to place yourself in the best position n let the girl pick who they want...if you look good n play well, it SHOULD be you (get that in your head). If for some reason she Fucks another guy...who cares, she may fuck you next. Contrary to popular belief if a girl Fucks a guy or a fuck million guys, she is not tainted or with less. In fact, she is probably ten times freakier than whatever other girl you were into (which is ALWAYS a win in my book). You need to stop chasing her/girls period...when I first meet a girl I will hit them up with my game plan n ask them to be a part of it...if they can't they get one more chance n that's it...unless they have a good excuse or r OMG...but even they only get 3 if they have good excuses two times...a girl that is really into u will make time. Also, if I hit a girl up n she has a reason to not hang out...I don't hit her up for a couple days. Normally she hits me up in between that time but whatever. Finally...only hit her up n be sweet as a reward for her doing something. Don't randomly hit her up n tell her u were thinking of her...but if she makes u dinner n blows u the night before...a little "hey I had a great time with u last nite have a great day" goes along way. Don't do normal afc bullshit things period...but after she puts out or does something special, you can give her one of those little "bf" moves to let her not feel like a complete slut (only do that for girls u want to eventually turn into an mltr...it will backfire if you r using it for honest ons's do you feel me? If u want to keep fucking her alot...throw her a little relationship bone...if u don't, then she knows its the same way she came in...hope this helps good luck man...n fuck that Bitch...make sure to have the next 5 hb's you fuck get you from work...show her what she's missing...n then NOT fuck her...maybe other ppl will disagree, but I feel it is far better revenge for her to find out u have been gut crushing hard n alot of girls r digging u then turning her down...than to do all of that just for her to suck u into a web of bullshit.

Yeah after the kissed close things were looking good when I asked her to meet up with me she wouldn't hence why I didn't get to fuck her. For 2 months she still called me nearly every other day. Things are fucked now, she just gone cold and I would like to do a freeze out but I think it's not going to work. I should of been at work 3 times this week but they changed my days up but she was there and god knows who was talking to her. I logged on to Facebook chat and said hello to her and she logged of right away....

Oh and there is this other creep who works there.

Braids and tatoos but talks like a woman. He seems to like her and doesn't realise how well we know eachother. Since I've seen the two of them at work, he keeps going up to her and when she is around him she has no worrys making him feel that she doesn't like me or isn't with me. She turns her back to me, talks to him more and other weird things.

Like we all go the train home weeks ago and it was the first time I had seen him, and she would sit away from me and then told him to come sit next to her when he sat in front. I got angry/jealous then she started talking to me more when she saw that.

I told why do that you're making me look like an idiot. Last week she was all near me and flirting and she kept talking dirty to me and we got changed ready to go and the guy turned around all upset when she tried to talk to him and then went on the train with us and he was trying to get rid of me and so was she in a way.

He was asking me where am I going, and she did and then she was like "ur going a different way than us" and was pulling a weird face. I said "u trying to get rid of me" and she pulled some other weird face.

Guy was acting like he seriously wished I wasn't there and then she sat down and he ran and sat next to her.

She sat there barely speaking to me but not saying much to him. Today she wasn't there but he overheard some guy talking to me and mentioned her name, he gave piercing stare for 5 seconds like he's jealous and then I looked back, he backed in the corner for a bit then went to shake my hand. He talks gay but his body language is kinda straight. So yeah I know this guy has been up her ass most of this week and probably has been chatting his shit.

Well...this is what im seeing..jealousy is a big deal for u and u need to just say fuck it. It seems like she really has a death grip on u...break it. Also, I don't think she is doing it ALL to fuck with u. She might be a little bit, but its more of a distortion from your ego. She is just trying to enjoy herself and if she met a guy (who may be the biggest douche in the world) who works with u...let her. All her turning her back n shit is her probably thinking "omg I made out with this guy a couple times months ago n he just keeps all on my shit". Girls can be dirty cunts if you let them...meaning they will use u for a shoulder to cry on n blah blah because you will let them. Don't let her. Freeze her out nicely. If u r really worried...crack out you phone on the walk to the train, pretend to go through it, n set up what sounds like a booty call on ur way home. Better yet, actually set one up...if you don't have anyone on deck tho, fuck it just be like "hey sweetie...........*bunch of sexual inuendoz while laughing n looking excited*...tell her you'll call her when she gets home n she better wear that blue dress u like" it doesn't really matter cause u may be making it all up, but she doesn't know that. say it loud enough for them to hear and when she asks who it was, say oo its just a friend of mine n leave it at that. Your missle landed n she will feel it. Don't go into any detail, just make sure she knows u have other options n u don't care about her. You probably are giving off the I really want u n I can't believe u would talk to a guy in front of me vibe...its completely unattractive. You have to get over her though...fuck sit around n tell yourself over n over that u don't care about her until u actually don't. She seems like a waste of time n I think ur only gonna fuck with ur emotions more by even entertaining the idea of being with her.

Yeah I should do a freeze. I think next week I will 100% have stopped bothering with her.

Logged on FB just to check some shit and again saw her online and she logged off right away then logged on again 5 minutes later and logged off after a few minutes. I also called her before that...not sure what's going on Weds she wanted to know if I was working and I told her I wasn't. She probably thinks it is strange I'm not working the same days as her all of a sudden but it was the managers to did that, or it's some other shit.

I managed to speak to her yesterday(7 days after our last phone chat) she didn't sound too happy and said she had been stressed the last few days. I told her what I thought right away, I told her I feel close to her and she is someone I would introduce to my family and I think we have a connection.

She told me she doesn't know what she wants right now or who she wants to be with. She said she doesn't want anyone(me) to feel she is theirs, and act funny when she speaks to people.

She says lots of guys ask her out and they want something serious but she isn't ready. After I mentioned it she reluctantly sort of agreed with me we have a connection. I joked with her saying I worked hard at my job and need a reward she goes "go and get one then" I said "I don't need to go far" :S

I said we click well and we shouldn't let it go. She says "I'm not letting it go, but we didn't see eachother that much and this is only early" she added "if I have a relationship now it won't last long trust me" I felt like I was talking about it too deep when I said "It could be a month or 2 or 3. Maybe you will be ready" she was like "yeaaaa I dunno"

She felt awkward but we haven't had a chat about us in 4 weeks. She even put the phone down and when I called back said something happpened with her phone.

She agreed to go to work with me on Thursday. What should I do? she is normally upbeat, but said she was stressed, she thinks single is boring but doesn't want a relationship.

Oh, man, why are you doing this to yourself?

I know you will not like me for saying this, but the Girl doesn't want you. I've been there myself a couple of times, and seen it countless times in my friends. And I have yet to see one example where this has worked..

There is no real hope for you with this one. You have to move on. Put her on hold if you cannot really give her up right now, but in any case start seeing other girls!

As many girls as you can! They can be just female friends. But the more female friends you have the bigger your chance is to find a GF. Because you will learn what works on girls and what doesn't.

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Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

I know I have to go out and do that.

A work colleague today told me she was speaking about how she likes single life. She told the girl she was with her ex for 7 years and that she still kind of loves him. This isn't something she told me...she also said to the girl she doesn't want a relationship, so it's not a case of her just saying it because she doesn't want to be with me. I just know I will have to step away for my own mental health, but damn do I love her.