This is great. When I first started I thought PUA was the greatest thing and all of these methods and lines were magic bullets. I was using it everywhere I could. But not I realize, I was over negging, over thinking, trying WAY too hard. I would have done a lot better if I just calmed the fuck down.

I remember Adam Lyons saying when you're an AFC and you discover pick up, you become an asshole, the other side of the spectrum. Because you're trying really hard NOT to be an AFC. Eventually, you'll realize you're an asshole when people don't want to be around you, etc. You'll still pick up girls as an asshole, but something won't be right. Then you fall back into this sweet spot where you have the tools but you're more yourself and its natural. I think it's because you stop thinking so much and you let go.

The last thing I read and it really clicked with me was 60 Years of Challenge where his underlying message was "Do less". And I think he's right. By doing less, we can create sexual tension instead of entertaining her. I enjoyed reading it because it suggested what NOT to do, things to avoid. Remove some of the outer game and convert it to inner game, so there's a balance between the two.

I enjoyed reading this, this is exactly what I have been feeling. I am new to the PUA system and what such and reading some of the things people thread are amazing, but thinking about it, I didn't want to loose myself in everythign and forget who i am.

I do receive alot of attention and thats from learning tricks from friends and this site has re-established the link between my actions towards women and my real self and I'm glad that i read this because I don't want to lose who I am.

cheers Bloke.

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THANK YOU! so much for freeing me

It feels like a huge load off my back... i thought i was the only crazy dude over-thinking my approaches. I will try to implement these strategies daily.

Thanx for getting that voice in my head of its high horse now the taf job of putting it to work.

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Success is 80% failure.

This is a great thread, and a great one to read for anyone starting out. There have been a lot of insightful replies from people who are obviously at different stages along the spectrum.

I'm really just starting out myself, although I flirted with PUA for a period a while ago; I picked up a few things that have helped me be more confident in interactions with women, and have improved my success - I'm still very much an AFC though, and my success has been very limited.


Overthinking
Returning to the field of PUA it's great to read the post because all the information that we read on here is retained on some level, and being told from the beginning "not to overthink things" is a useful nugget of information, because when us noobs find ourselves questioning why it isn't working for us, we can reflect on previous interactions and see precisely where we were over-thinking. This can help us to be more aware of the issue and with greater awareness comes detachment from it.

It's a bit like starting out with meditation practice; being told to drop thoughts when we find that we are caught up in them; inevitably we find that we are caught up in our thinking, but becoming aware of it we can drop them, only to find that we are caught up in thought again; repetition of the process cultivates greater detachment and it's easier to remain "present".


The path is the goal
Apologies, I can't remember who mentioned it in this thread already, but part of becoming a natural PUA is to go through the over-thinking, to become aware of it and to become detached from it. I don't doubt that fully accomplished PUAs will have thoughts from time to time about "what to do", but I would imagine that they are fleeting thoughts that don't consume them. For a noob, that initial "what should I do thought" can snowball into paralysis, and before you know it you're caught in the trap of over-thinking.


Something I need to cultivate myself is the frame of mind that "the path is the goal", that is, the learning process through which so many of us have to go through is the goal; the step I am on at the moment is what I should be focusing on; it's all about the learning.


Routines
As has also been mentioned, routines, for a noob, can be like a crutch; they can provide essential support along the way. Well, I suppose it actually depends on what people understand by the term "routines"; for me I don't take it to mean something that is entirely scripted from start to finish, because obviously you can't script her role.

For me I sometimes struggle with "what do I say/do next", so learning a few things in advance can help to get over those speed bumps; learning different ways of presenting the same information i.e. finding out more about her without interrogating her are all things that a noob might have to learn, but which become second nature with practice.

It can also be helpful to have a routine, which isn't fully scripted, so you can be flexible with it, but something that just gets things moving along.

I used to do stand-up comedy a few years ago, and I often found that once you nailed the first gag and created rapport with the crowd, things flowed a lot smoother, because your confidence was up. A routine might help in that regard, just to get over the initial anxiety.

Obviously once you've approached enough women the initial anxiety will be greatly reduced, and routines won't be as essential.

Don't over-think things
Again, a great piece of advice and necessary to be stated to help people become aware of it, because awareness is key to eliminating it.

this is important, gunna have to remember this

This has been a great thread, thank you laRouche for summing up the main points.

I myself just like you have experienced exactly whats being talked about here, I was able to get this girl and she was MINE! But I negged her too much to a point were she was disinterested...if I were to just sort of put my alpha-ness to one side I wouldn't be going through the part were I am offering her an ultimatum...

Point I just wanted to make, use all that you have learned to win her over but when you have won her over it is time to ease off... and maybe stop all together cause she like YOU

There are as many methods of picking up girls a there are religions in the world. As long as you connect with her in an emotional level, that will get you thee girl for more than a one night stand. If you want a one night stand just work on getting her excite and arouse, that will get you laid. But she will get buyers remorse and not call you again. You need to connect emotionally with her to have her soul and body! I don't know about you...but one night is not enough for me, I like to see cute girls as long as I want!

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http://conquistadoracademy.webs.com/

There is an embedded assumption in this article that instead of following rules or guidelines, you should follow feelings, and do something because you "feel" like doing it. I agree with not depending too much on rules and guidelines, but I'd not recommend trusting your feelings either. This article intends to make a newbie independent and natural but it's just replacing one false sense of security (pua rules) with another (feelings).

From the kind of background and conditioning newbies come from, their belief systems have already fucked up their thought patterns and feelings, with their mind being more wired towards feelings of neediness, depression and negativity. Rules are important because they show a way of doing something different, so they the newbies can break old thought patterns and see for themselves that anything works.

You cannot just pick up the guitar and start playing. You learn a few basic chords and play some easy songs. You follow some rules. Once you are comfortable, you easily break those rules and still play well. In order to break the rules, you must first learn the rules!

Thank you the article. As a newbie this helps put into perspective how overwhelming the task of learning the art of PUA can be, especially after I joined the forum. There is a lot of information, but finding out what works for me is how I'm attempting to avoid the over-complication of the art.

I used to feel bad about some days that I come onto the forum, and nothing pops out at me, or I don't reply to some topics I feel I should. Now I'm accepting that it is okay if that happens. It means that I'm picking and choosing my battles. It means I'm in control and I don't have to make PUA something overly complicated; but instead I can make it an experience that I control.

Thanks again for the article.

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I want to be significant. I don't want to be an icon. I want to represent an idea. I want to represent possibilities.

This has been crossing my mind many times. While methods may work in special cases, I still think the golden rule in PU artistry is being yourself. After all, people change. Since you were born up untill now you've been so many different persons, depending on the people you hang out with your persona and character changes. This may be in a positive or a negative manner. But it happens. That is also how I like to use this community. Not forcing myself into several methods or using any secrets, but getting myself to do things different naturally. Not by thinking about my next step, but adapting from this community and actually using their influence to slightly improve myself.

One of the best things you can have going is having a lot of female friends you have no reason to go to bed with. I have some girl friends who mean the world to me and belong to my few best friends I'd tell ANYTHING and I do tell them anything. It's because I don't view them as potential catches but just as friends. That way I can easily get around being myself while talking to other women while not having to worry about them thinking I'm a wuss or something. I can give them a present, buy them drinks or listen to them and their problems like the 'friendzoned guy'. I have no intend into impressing them so I don't have the needs to use some kind of PUA coverup to do so.

Just be yourself, take it for what you really are. Thanks for the advice..

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http://ny.pe

Thanks matthew12 that really needed clarification.
I am feeling so much better now, thanks a lot for your time and thought, the forum sincerely appreciates it.

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Life is not a Disney Movie. It's a frickin jungle out there...

Completely agree with this!