The Thin Line Between Hard and Soft



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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:09 pm 
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I am 21 and I had my first sex with my girlfriend a month ago. I shouldn't call it sex because I could not manage to get a hard on. I told myself that it happens to everyone for the first time and started waiting for the second time.

Second time, it happened but it got softer as soon as I penetrated her.

We tried many more times after that and I managed to penetrate her for maximum 10 seconds and then it got soft again.

The problem is, I am rock hard before taking my pants off but as soon as I take them off or she starts giving me a blowjob or I try putting a condom on, I lose it. Afterwards, it is impossible for her to get it back but when I start jacking off myself when I am fingering her, I succeed.

I try not to think about it but it strikes me everytime. What is the best way to avoid it and enjoy it fully? Please share if you had any experiences related to this and how you solved it. I will appreciate.


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 1:54 am 
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porn habit?

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 2:08 am 
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It's almost entirely mental.

The best way to enjoy/avoid it. Do it.

Blue pill for the first 2-3 times and I can almost guarantee you'll be clear from there.

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:01 am 
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This thread title made me lol

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 10:15 am 
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Mack, it is true that I have watched porn and masturbated until this time but I only do it 4-5 times a week. Do you think my brain is used to perfect images in porn and I am not stimulated by my gf's body?

Infamous, is the pill really worth it? Does it guarantee that it will be hard again after doing it 2-3 times with the pill? Have you tried it?


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 10:44 am 
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Funny enough, this happened to me recently. Never had a problem before, but this particular girl was a lot better looking than anyone I've slept with before so I guess I was a bit intimidated.

My solution was to wait a few more weeks until we got to know each other better. It's that simple. I guess I needed to get more comfortable around her before we went for it. I know that's not the solution you wanted to hear, but it's the only one that will really work without the usage of external help such as pills. Read up on "performance anxiety" - that way you can understand what is going on in your head (the one connected to your neck and shoulders).


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 11:05 am 
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This happened to me once. She was soo hot

But with the next girl I could feel the problems creeping in ect.

I actually took one of those blue pills as a dare the first time but spent the next like 12 hours like wtf! I guess I can't say it will work for sure, but I think that it's designed for it and there will probably be a placebo effect on top.

The pill doesn't guarantee the problem will go away after 2-3 times, but the fact that you've done it and are more comfortable around each other means you will worry less and I'm almost sure you won't have the problem as a long term thing.

They're not expensive, you can buy them in public toilets and you gain much more than you lose.

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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 6:51 pm 
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Mack, it is true that I have watched porn and masturbated until this time but I only do it 4-5 times a week. Do you think my brain is used to perfect images in porn and I am not stimulated by my gf's body?


It's possible. Try not to masturbate for at least 5 days before having sex with her. See if there is an improvement.

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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 9:25 am 
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yeah its mostly mental. sometimes you worry too much and thats what makes you go soft. gotta get pasted that phase and you should be straight.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 12:27 pm 
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Quote:
Mack, it is true that I have watched porn and masturbated until this time but I only do it 4-5 times a week. Do you think my brain is used to perfect images in porn and I am not stimulated by my gf's body?

Infamous, is the pill really worth it? Does it guarantee that it will be hard again after doing it 2-3 times with the pill? Have you tried it?
Thats too much, only masturbate once a week, I used too have that same habit you had, now I only go once a week, and I'm hornier than ever, also I have way more energy


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 12:33 pm 
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While I do agree that masturbating less often will help, you need to make sure you still take care of yourself every once in awhile. Otherwise, you'll jizz yourself before you even get your boxers (briefs? tighty whities?) off.

If worst comes to worst, make sure you at least take care of her.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 5:59 pm 
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I've had exactly the same problem before.

I think your issue is that you get nervous and maybe a little uncomfortable when you're naked to her, thats generally when you're at your most vulnerable. I had the same issue, the more you try, the more comfortable you will become and eventually you'll be able to stay hard.

It's that, or you're worried about how you'll perform. Make her cum before you start having sex through oral or fingering, if you've made her orgasm once, the pressure is off.

I'd avoid watching porn too, just drop it and masturbate to your imagination. You might also want to limit masturbation to once a week, at least until you overcome the problem, once you're having no problem getting, and staying hard during sex, feel free to masturbate more.

Thats how I overcome my erection problems, anyway.


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PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 2:31 am 
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It happened to me about twice, every time on the first time with the girl.
After you'll get it right once, you won't have this problem anymore, the minute you think about it with someone you're not totaly comfortable with, it happens.
You just have to be in the moment, DON'T think, maybe a drink or two can help..
Just relax, and do it.. Have fun ;)


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