The balance between being sexually passive and aggressive



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:21 pm 
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Hey guys, just a quick question. Where do you strike balance between being sexually passive and aggressive? Me, I think I'm too passive.

Was at a party last night, and I was chatting to a girl. She was flirting her ass off with me, but I didn't go in for the k-close because we were in a room of people casually drinking, it would have been weird. I figured I'd get with her at the club. I let her initiate me in conversation at the party, work for my attention, I was the prize. On the walk to the club, one of my friends ends up getting with her. I think I was playing it a bit too cool, not going in for the kill, not showing enough interest in her.

On the other hand I have friends who are very sexually aggressive and just grab girls and try to grind them etc. This always fails, because they end up looking like creeps. Where is the balance?


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:01 am 
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100% aggressive.

You want women who are receptive to that. Part of the purpose of it is as a filtering device to drive away the ones who aren't wired to screw.

Women also find it very attractive too.

Guess what, those assholes at clubs who talk to 1000 women a night and touch and caress them after 3 minutes-- they are getting laid.

If I could be bothered to go out and talk to 1000 women I would probably end up in the sack with more than 50 of them with very little effort.

Not that I am some sort of huge pimp or anything either. I guess I do have "natural game" of one sort. Some women don't like it. Others find it irresistible. My goal is to find the ones who think it's irresistible.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:49 pm 
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I get what you're saying spandrel, its just I dont want to come of as a creep. The tactics you speak of make it very obvious that you are coming on to a girl. If I get rejected 3 times in a row because I come on too strong, or they feel uncomfortable, all the other girls will see, and I will be pegged as a creep.

Its hard to play 100% aggressive game and not look like a desperate guy who chances his luck with all girls. How do you manage to still be the prize? You're guidance would be much appreciated ;)


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:29 pm 
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Lol men...We are NOT the prize, men cant fucking play hard to get, you will never get laid if you "play hard". You should keep a busy life but not play a fcking diva like some people in this community who confuse "cocky" with "confident".
All you need to do it CLAIM your prize a.k.a "the woman".

All those thoughts about who might see or what they might think is why you dont get laid as much as you want. We must TAKE what we want and if we get a little smack on the hand for grabbing too much ass so fucking what at least we grabbed some nice ass lol

"Were you looking at my tits?"
"Yes, they look delicious..."
"...lets go back to my place"

These 3 lines explain how we have been mating for the last 4 million years and why the world is overpopulated, we are all horny we just need to be more honest about it.

Best Luck!

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"Nah man, I love women, they are beautiful and delicate...
but I still warm up to "99 Problems" before approaching" lol


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:46 pm 
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So be 100% unapologetic about your attraction to a girl. Realize that women want sex as much as men. Pull the trigger, go for the kill. Got ya ;)


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:38 am 
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Wha... what happened to PUAing ask a tactical skill done with precision and calibration.

I don't know how but it seems like we've stepped BACk through time to 1999 before even the mystery method, where you approach 100 girls and ask to fuck, and hope that one hooks.

The point was to REVERSE the roles with women. Because how it used to work, (and how it works in the animal kingdom still) is that the guys would approach the girls and say wanna fuck over and over, and the GIRLS would select the guy.

The game was about reversing this, about making the GUY the selector.

What happened here...?


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 2:37 am 
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The goal is not to go back to the stoneage, but it's definitely true that you need to know when to flip the switch. I've had plenty of successes and failures- and a lot of the time my failures started out great and fizzled. Women WANT to be told what to do, but only from someone they WANT. There's an art to know when you have built up enough attraction and comfort though the numerous methods we all talk about on here and push the aggression in a tactical way.

Will guys who go 100% aggressive get laid? Yes, but that's because a lot of times there is alcohol involved or the girl just wants to have sex. It's a crap shoot--- I'm sure you've heard that "90% of life is just showing up". If you combine it with the skills in the PUA community, your odds will dramatically improve instead of just being a crap shoot, guaranteed. That said, if you go 100% aggressive and hit on 50 girls and f-close 5, that's only 10% but you're still effing 5 girls! if you play it too safe and approach super selectively, you might increase your odds to 50% or better, but still be effing fewer women and therefore have potentially less chance you'll run into someone you really want to be with.

Back to the point of this thread- I've kicked myself plenty of times when I KNOW I have built good attaction and just not been able to be aggressive enough to close the deal- this is when girls usually flake because you didn't satisfy that desire they have for a MAN. So next time things are going well and you're wondering if you should push it- that answer is basically ALWAYS YES. It's funny because when I finally became cognizant of my behavior and started pushing situation - it's amazing how FEW times I actually got rejected... literally just about never. It's all just in your head sometimes and you just need to break out of your shell and stop giving an f, hahah. Start talking more sexual, get in close, just go for it- but you need to do it with CONFIDENCE- don't hesitate at that point because she will feel your weakness if you do.


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PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 3:09 am 
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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

^^Says it all^^

I'd much rather get shot the fuck down in front of a club full of people rather than go home thinking "I wonder what would have happened if I had........."

The guys who are successful with women are the ones who act.

100% unapologetic in your attraction and interaction with women is the best way to go I think, as long as you do it in the confident manner and not just to cocky or arrogant.

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PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 6:01 am 
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Quote:
its just I dont want to come of as a creep. The tactics you speak of make it very obvious that you are coming on to a girl
Well, yes.

I'm aggressive and flirtatious. I touch them. I don't reach and grab their crotches or breasts right off the bat or anything like that.

I think a lot of the PUA stuff is cargo cult bullshit-- things that are unnecessary, that people have started to do reflexively out of superstition. One thing I do absolutely believe in is kino escalation. Touch them right away. When you get a hug, put your hand on their upper ass.

That sort of thing.

I don't ever (or rarely) even try to f-close on the first date.

But be aggressive. If you aren't aggressive you will be pushed off again and again by guys who ARE aggressive.

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When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.


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