Hey so I am currently studying abroad and have been here for almost three months. I met another girl from my country (U.S.), named Kayla. We hit it off the first few days and hung out, but nothing ended up happening. I think it is because when we were together, I started flirting with other girls in front of her to make her jealous. But I don't think that worked out very well. Eventually, our relationship (me and kayla) became very hot and cold. During the week, we would flirt but on the weekend, we would barely speak. We would see each other in clubs but never really talked. Actually I had chances to talk to her when we were out, but I didn't know what to say to her because I would just think too much. I can flirt with her when we're sober but not when we're out. I don't know why but I just freeze; I don't know what to say to her. Nevertheless, I am good friends with all of her friends and in good standing with them.

I have never had a girlfriends before and am still a virgin at 21. Thus, whenever I am talking to a cute girl, I get into this phase in which I think about every little encounter we have, just because I have a crush on her. I don't think I would do that if I had more experience.

My lack of experience with women is not really congruent to the way that I act. I look and act "normal." People that know me would be surprised if I told them I was a virgin or never had a girlfriend. I am able to communicate well with everyone I'm around and have many guy friends as well as friends who are girls.

Back to the story, because I think about every little encounter and whatnot, I thought it was interfering with my overall state of mind. I am only studying abroad for a semester and my main goal for the time being was to go out, get out of my comfort zone and have fun. And get better with women. Because I thought too much about her, I was straying away from my main goal. And that was not worth it. So then I completely stopped speaking to her for a few weeks, which was difficult because she lives in my building. It didn't seem like I was avoiding her, but rather we just never crossed paths.

But as of late, we started talking and flirting again. Last night, we ended up watching a movie. During the movie, an Australian girl took her top off. She then asked me if those were the first Australian boobs I had seen. I said no. (which is true because I saw a pair at a wet t shirt contest a few weeks back, but I didn't tell her that). I asked her if she had hooked up with any guys. She said yes, that she had just made out with one Australian guy. Right after the movie, she left and that was that.

I feel dissapointed that we have not hooked up yet or even made out. I feel like I should have enough skill to do that. We only have six to eight weeks left before we have to go back. Do you guys think I should still pursue this girl. Unfortunately, I have started thinking about her all the time again. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation??

Please let me know. I appreciate it. Also general feedback on myself would be good.

Thanks!!! Let me know!!!!!

Pretty much nut up or shut up.

You are asking for advice when you already know the answer. Go after her, stop thinking, have some fun and escalate.

A couple of tips: Build the tension by using the intimate gaze pattern, eye to eye to lips and back around. Close the space and touch more often, these two are huge.

I would honestly see if she is attracted to you first. I wrote up a long ass thread on body language it's called The Key to Natural Game is Body Language. It will help tell you whether she is attracted to you, whether it's worth your time or you should move on. At the very least you'll get better for the next girl you meet and are attracted too.

You've been going after this girl for nearly 3 months and a lot of times if there was an attraction to you it could have easily faded in a 3 month span with no comfort or on going attraction building. Avoiding her does add scarcity and can make you look better, but you pretty much need to just make a move. You need to find out where you stand.

I can't sit there and give great direct advice regarding your situation, you are placing a lot of value on basic conversation topics based on your feelings about them. Topless and making out with guys, those aren't a big deal to a lot of us. I frequently saying much crazier things then that and it still means nothing. You are over analyzing the situation based on your limited experience, bringing your own emotions in to help analyze is certainly not helping your situation.

Relax, build some sexual tension, have some fun, and escalate. That is basically what you have to do, I can get more specific but I'm not sure where your weaknesses and strengths are, based on your limited info I'm gonna say you fall short on all of them. You got a lot to learn about and it's not going to come about over night.

You have a serious lack of confidence, and are ignorant of the information you need. Asking for basic advice isn't going to be enough for you. You say your experience is not congruent to how you act but your thread certainly paints a picture of exactly of the AFC you are trying to deny.

I will say this making a move sooner rather then later will make you far less regretful in about 3 months. Do it because you may not have another opportunity and because it's not like you'll see her when you get back to the states. Don't regret what you could have done, it sucks trust me, it's not worth it.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Yeah, you're right. I am asking for advice when i know the answer. Also, I agree with you that I need to find out where I stand. And that I need to do it sooner rather than later. I'll take a look at your thread: the key to natural game is body language. Hopefully that helps. Thanks for the feedback!

I'm willing to bet that the only reason you're so fixated on this particular girl is because she's the only one you're friends with over there. Go out and sarge at least 20 women per night (or day if you're into Daygame) and then see if she's still so special.

In regard to getting her into bed, you need to learn how to escalate. Learn about escalating, try it on a few other girls (I call them practice dummies) and you'll get the hang of it. Then next time you have her over, you'll have a much easier time escalating.

Another trick you can try is Mystery's classic kiss close. (Would you like to kiss me?) If you haven't read the game just go look it up. Works really well. Plus there's dozens of other routines you can use to get her into bed. Good luck man!

_________________
In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

The above two posters already summed up what I'm thinking. But there are still two things in your post which I don't understand.

1. Why are you intentionally making a girl jealous? I mean if she knows that you know that she is in to you, she will probably already be jealous. I don't think it's needy to make her even more jealous. Jealousness is like a boiling point. A soon as you push is to far and she's over the boiling point, she will say screw that jerk, I'm searching someone else. The only exception is an open relationship but if that is the case she won't be jealous no matter what so it has no use.

2. I don't really understand the conversation about the Australian tits and shit. It's like you both ask a question where you already know the answer on and you already know that you will be disappointed after asking it.

First of all, if she's asking me "did you ever saw Australian tits", I would say "I don't know, I don't think so...but hey don't you have Australian ancestors?" BOOM! and there goes the sexual tension.

Secondly if you just say "yes, i did" I would definitely not ask her if she hooked up with any guys. I mean there aren't many girls at the age of 21 that haven't hooked up with a guy yet. I'm 21 and the girls I know are already used more than once, so why ask? Furthermore, girls are like a second hand card, as long as it's a nice cars I'll ride it anyway doesn't matter who rode it first.

I would have said "when in Australia, do as the Australians"! Lol

_________________
AFC GWAP turns into PUA PWAG!

Zack89, your two points make complete sense. Although now, I don't think the jealousness is a factor.

"2. I don't really understand the conversation about the Australian tits and shit. It's like you both ask a question where you already know the answer on and you already know that you will be disappointed after asking it.

First of all, if she's asking me "did you ever saw Australian tits", I would say "I don't know, I don't think so...but hey don't you have Australian ancestors?" BOOM! and there goes the sexual tension. "

Secondly, I think your response above is absolutely brilliant. I think that's what I need to learn more of how to do because I seem to get to the comfort stage but I run out of things to say, especially that incorporate and involve sexual tension.

Also, i have an update on our situation.
Last friday, I went out with her and her friends. Everything was going well, i was escalating and flirting with her (kayla). The last place we went to, however, 3 or 4 guys came up to her and started hitting on her - she knew them because they play frisbee together. I grabbed one of her friends (Carol) and we walked around the venue and played pool. I just hung out with her cause i didn't want to compete with the other guys - i didn't want to chase her because i felt like i didn't have enough experience in those type of situations to actually come out on top.
Nevertheless, she came to us (me and carol) later and asked where we went. She stayed for like a minute and left. When we all left, those boys who hit on her kept walking with Kayla and our group. I then went to bed once i got back to my room because i was pissed off (because at the time, it looked like she went off to one of those guys rooms). I found out the next day that the group stayed up all hanging out and that's all i know. She could have definitely hooked up with one of those guys. Also, on Saturday and Sunday, she hung out with the frisbee boys. It is Monday night now and we haven't spoke much since Friday night. I went to go watch a movie with the group of 6 girls (including Carol and Kayla) who i went out with Friday night, yesterday. But I didn't say anything, and didn't give Kayla any attention at all. I'm not sure if that's the right move I should have made, but that's what I ended up doing. I was still talking to other girls and laughing at the movie and whatnot, but i just didn't speak to Kayla (or look at her for that matter).

Anyways, tomorrow is Kayla's birthday and Carol asked me if I was going out with them to celebrate her birthday. I said, i'll have to check my work load (school) and perhaps I might join. I don't know if I should or not. Again, I haven't talked to Kayla since Friday night. I've been giving her the cold shoulder. I've done that because I had come to the conclusion that she isn't interested in me because she would have hung out with me Friday night or any other time in the weekend. But she didn't. And because she didn't, I decided that I was done pursuing her. Instead, I was going to pursue the other aspects of my life.

I still want to hear your guys' opinions on what I did right, what I did wrong, if I should go out tomorrow (which I free and able to do, kinda want to as well), how I should act around Kayla. Because I really don't know how I should act around Kayla. I just hate the thought of me being stuck in the friend zone, which I didn't think i was in because we flirted a lot and hung out a lot last week. I guess it is very possible that she was leading me on, and having fun while she was out with other guys.

Let me know what you guys think. Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Just go out and don't trip on the situation. You sound like you have fell into the friend zone. I don't know why you are bent on this situation, so what if she hooked up with one of those guys. You are jealous my friend and as the saying goes you are acting like an AFC.

You straight out abandoned that girl because other guys approached her. Man up. That is all I can say. Don't play ownership but don't act as if some set of guys is better then you by submitting before them. Make no mistake you did.

On the other hand that Carol girl sounds as if she is interested. She wants you places, she wanders off places with you. You may have a solid shot at her, I'd be very surprised if you didn't and you are likely very good friends if that is the case.

On a side note I have had 3-4 guys come up and hit on girls I was talking to. More often then not guys have no game at all and they can make you look like a far more attractive mate. So if you would have stuck around you might have been able to salvage the situation or even come out ahead. Use situations to your advantage, don't tear the guys down but realize you can look better next to other guys. Same concept as the pretty girl befriending the ugly girl to look more attractive (yes it has happened though rare).

Ignoring a girl has it's place, it is a great scarcity tactic but don't let yourself get AFC for lack of a better comparison. You are acting like a pissed off teenage girl. If you let every little thing effect you then you don't look like a high status mate with multiple opportunities you merely look like a over sensitive guy who has pissy parties for ONE girl.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

poeticlyskuac, I think your interpretation of the situation of my night makes sense. I was acting like an AFC. I think because I just run out of things to say when I'm out, I just bailed on the situation (Friday night) and hung out with Carol.

Carol, on the other hand, has had a long-term boyfriend, and I don't think anything is going to happen between us. Although if she was single, something would definitely happen. It's actually really unsual because I'm going through the attraction and comfort stage with such a breeze. I've been escalating very smoothly and she wants to hang out with me all the time, which we do. I'm going through the stages with such ease with Carol, but not at all with Kayla.

Anyways, I'm not completely certain if Kayla has placed me into the friend zone. I had class with Kayla in the morning, which went pretty well. We flirted a lot. Also, another girl, Maria, who is a 9, maybe even a 10. She's probably the hottest girl I've ever seen, and Kayla knows she's not as hot as Maria (Maria is known as the hottest girl at our college). Anyways, Maria sat on the seat to my right (Kayla sat to my left). Maria and I also flirted a lot, we always do. At one point, I accused Maria of hitting on me and trying to touch me; Maria playfully played along. I think that definitely made Kayla a little jealous - I was prizing myself, as Swingcatt presents in his book - Real World Seduction.

Later that night, Kayla and her friends all invited me to go out with them, as i previously mentioned. I was hesitant because I didn't want to go out with them while she picks up other guys - it's a shitty feeling. Anyways, I was drinking with all of the 10 girls before hand. I was flirting and escalating Kayla. As they were all about to go out, I told Kayla that I would meet up with them and that I was going out with some other guys. She told me that I better come out, or else she would be mad at me. A couple friends and I went to the club X, where Kayla was going before she went out to town. I saw them leaving as I was walking in. Kayla jumped on me and gave me a big hug, and said again that I should join them and go out to town. I told her that I was going to town later with my guy friends, which was supposed to happen. She again told me that she would be very dissapointed in me if I didn't go out for her birthday. I said, allright, i'll see you in town.

After drinking at Club X, none of the guys I was with wanted to go out in town and I really had no way of getting there besides a cab, which would be expensive (and I didn't really wanna go to town alone). So I texted Kayla that no one wanted to go and that I was sorry that I couldn't join them. She didn't respond. I found out this morning that she was pretty drunk so she probably didn't even have her phone on her. Anyways, that's what happened. I just went to bed after I got back from Club X.

Based on the way Kayla was acting last night, I think she's still interested. Also, I have a feeling that Carol and her other friends, who all love me, may be building me up. My perception is that I'm going to flirt with Kayla and pretty much any girls around me. If anything happens with Kayla, then that's great, if not, then it's whatever because we've only got another 5 weeks together in this exchange program. She's not going to matter in 3 months.

But still, I'd like some feedback. So poeticlyskuac, or anyone else, please let me know what you think. Thanks!!

poeticlyskuac, you may actually be right. I'm glad I didn't go out to town with Kayla and her friends because I just found out that those four guys that were hitting on her Friday night were all out with her and were hitting on her the whole night again. It just would not have been fun if I was out with them haha. I'm glad I didn't join them. Plus, she ended up being really sick later in the night.

I think that i'm not completely in the friend zone. There is still that possibility out there. But it would just be stupid for me to even pursue this any further. It seems like it has run its course.