No dude you're missing the point, that stuff is money and celebrity, not looks. Like I said if you're Hugh Hefner nothing else matters.
If you're the most beautiful/cute/handsome guy in a corner of a bar standing, looking sad, with light beer in your hands, guess what your chances of getting laid that night are pretty minimum (who wants to hang around boring person anyway)
Let's take a look at the underline mechanisms that projects here. You probably forgot to say that the muscular and handsome ASSHOLE has some has probably came with his friends=preselection, he has a good time in the club=fun, he does the things that express confidence=inner game... yeah sure why not, girls'll like him A LOT.
But if you take those things aside and you put a guy in to ^above situation 'alone/looking sad/no friends' well you get the idea

But who know strange things might happen, that's just my opinion

_________________
How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Stop giving a fuck what others think about you, and for now quit giving a fuck about whether or not you get laid because until you build up your social skills it probably won't happen anyway. Focus on HAVING FUN. That's all there is to it man. If you have fun, people will notice you're having fun and you're a fun guy and want to talk to you. You can build your social circle up from there. That's what I'm in the process of doing right now.

No one cares about you or what you do as much as you do. That big, awkward social blowup that wrecked your night?--most people probably didn't even notice, or won't have analyzed it as deeply as you will.

The other things that helps--everyone has little foibles or awkward moments in social situations. Learning to recover (ie. saying that you were joking even though you weren't, learning to laugh at yourself, asking the other person questions to turn the conversation around, saying a completely outrageous non-sequitur to deflect people's attention, ect.) is crucial.

That said, you may have to leave your home town--either permanently or temporarily--in order to cultivate the personal changes and skills that you wish to take place/have. Particularly in terms of social dynamics, when you change the other people involved, to some degree, need to allow you to do so; people that you've known all of your life likely will not. (Note: I'm not implying here that other people wholly determine your social life, just that they affect it in ways that can make comfortable roles difficult to break out. Additionally, as anyone with parents can probably attest, if you're used to being treated in a certain way and other people continue to treat you in that manner, regardless the personal changes that you feel you have undergone, it can be difficult to prevent yourself from falling back into old patterns of behaviour.)

Agreed,the asshole is probably everything you said too,but he still an asshole.
And dude,im not talking about fame or money here,trust me,is the girls find a guy cute/handsome,they will find a way to talk to him,get to him better,even though hi is in the situation you described.
The girls just find him FUCKING HOT,they dont care if he is sad,or drinking light beer,they dont even care if doesnt know how to talk to woman,all the girls want is to make out with out him.
Let me give you another example:
A "pretty","popular", boy of school,does/say something.
All the girls crack up,and start touching him...
Another guy,ugly,not popular,say the EXACT same thing.
Sadly no one laughs of his jokes,and obviously no girl start touching him.

Dont say that it all depends on "how you say it",cause it DOESNT,the chicks laughed cause the guy is handsome,PERIOD,not because of the joke,or the way he told it.
See what im trying to explain now?

No offense, but are you lesser attractive yourself?

The only thing your example proves is that good looking people have it easier when it comes to social status. Lesser attractive people just have to work a tad bit harder.

Hey natedizzle, it sounds to me like you avoid confrontation somewhat so that will need to change.
For game in perticular when you walk down the street day or night i want you to look people in the eye for as long as you can and push that comfort barrier so when you get the urge to look away dont, look for a second longer.It dosent matter if the people are shy themselves and youll realise most are so if you had your eyes ready to connect you win but remember not to look angry just inquisitive about people.If even the thought of doing this makes you Anxious and uneasy then stop asking yourself how you feel your only getting false sensations sent back as info and so learn to disconnect feelings from action.


Also if you agree with people just to keep the conversation smooth or friendly then stop, avoid smiling when uncomfortable or laughing to keep the peace this dosent mean be a difficult dude but listen to people and then reply or dont reply.
Also try wearing something peacockish like a wrist band or whatever that your not quite comfortable with even if you dont approach you will be getting used to the uncomfortable feeling and get bored with what others might possibly think after a while.
if clubbing or at a concert put your hand out unfront to move through any packed crowd and move with certainty no tippy toeing around big amogs fuk em 'move mother fuker '
Just a few tips to get started on, you can overcome shyness at any age but be persistant and you have to make that choice to show up night after night untill your good.

Yeah man,actually,im "very" lesser attractive. Really an very ugly guy,and i feel how that interfere in my personal,social life.
But see my point?
I saw this quote once,and now i realize how real it is:
"Ugly guys just dont get laid,if you are ugly,give up."

This topic kind of died off, but I'm curious what other people think of of nightfox's position? I'm also really self conscious about my looks, but I'm also shy in general...so I've never been sure if it's the shyness or looks that are holding me back.

Leave your past and do something in your present. You try to sit in a good company and improve your qualities and attitude. Looks are important but without confidence looks mean nothing. Try to talk with with everyone and play some games with people because outdoor games improve your self confidence.

_________________
bedding

First of all: orig poster- you need to work on yourself before you can go out there and be a confident social person. First impressions are very important- but they are DEFINITELY not all about looks (though it's obviously a big factor). If you don't have the looks, you need to make up for it in other places- and you CAN make up for it very easily through confidence and personality (thankfully you're a guy, because if a girl isn't good looking there isn't much she can do.)

First of all, you need to become the best "you" you can be. that means
- go the gym, get in shape: working out will increase endorphins and seratonin and make you more confident and less stressed.
- eat healthy: you will notice yourself feeling and looking better
- stand up straight: nobody likes a sloucher... it's a display of insecurity and it's a big turnoff
- SMILE: ever notice that people who smile a lot get along better with others and even get their way more often?? Smiling is literally a secret weapon (don't smile because you feel awkward, smile because you are happy to be talking to the person you are in front of and because you are happy with yourself)
- Speak clearly: mumbling is a super insecure thing to do - if you want to say something, say it so people can hear- never be embarrased to ask questions
- keep good eye contact: not like you want to murder the person, haha, but when you are talking about something you want people to listen to- speak to the person directly

All of these things are soooo important- and not just for getting girls, but also for interacting with guys, progressing in your career, etc. Point being - I can show you 2 people with exactly the same genetics, and if one person is as you are now, and the other person does what I said above, the second person will be WAY more attractive to strangers and will actually have better luck in life because people's perception of him will be higher.

Fox - it's great that this hot guy gets girls just for being hot... that happens and I have many friends who are like this and have no personality because they were never forced to actually culitvate one! That said, it doesn't help those people who aren't. I have actually had plenty of success just based on my looks, and I strolled through high school and college that way- hell I've been with some of the best looking people in my school. Once I graduated and started working in Manhattan, I realized I was completely underestimating my potential and really started focusing on cultivating my game. I'm new to the PUA community but I figured out a lot myself and really blew it out for five years hahah- until I met my most recent girlfriend of 3 years. Actually just got rid of her too so I'm single again but that's another story lol!

Point is: EVERYONE can learn to be socially sucessful no matter who you are. I truly believe that. It can sometimes take a lot of work, and everyone starts at a different level, but if you approach the situation the right way and committed to the goal, it WILL WORK.

Orig Poster (sorry, forgot your name as I am typing too much haha). Don't go see a therapist because you can handle this yourself. Don't go to clubs because you are not ready for this yet and it will just make you more insecure because you will freeze up. Once you work on making yourself the best self you can be, what you need to do is put yourself in a position to meet new people on a NON-SEXUAL level. Find a way to get out of the house! This means joining a recreational sports league, or volunteering, etc. What I'm saying is, put yourself in a position where you are around people you don't know, but also where YOU HAVE A PURPOSE for being there. Going somewhere with the sole reason of meeting girls is going to be too much right now. It's all about BABY STEPS so it doesn't feel like a big risk. Of course, be open and try to talk to these people- it should be easier because you already have something in common!

Once you start getting more comfortable meeting new people, and you continue working on yourself, then try to catch a drink with them after the event or something. Go out with these new people and meet new people through them. You can't keep going out ONLY with the people you know because they already have a preconceived notion of you- and you are looking to break that! That doesn't mean don't hang out with them, just that you need to create some time to work on your new self

It's amazing how easily a guy can make up for not having the best genetics. Confidence will get you everywhere Good luck!!!! Keep us posted on your progress and I'm always happy to answer further questions!

First of all: orig poster- you need to work on yourself before you can go out there and be a confident social person. First impressions are very important- but they are DEFINITELY not all about looks (though it's obviously a big factor). If you don't have the looks, you need to make up for it in other places- and you CAN make up for it very easily through confidence and personality (thankfully you're a guy, because if a girl isn't good looking there isn't much she can do.)

First of all, you need to become the best "you" you can be. that means
- go the gym, get in shape: working out will increase endorphins and seratonin and make you more confident and less stressed.
- eat healthy: you will notice yourself feeling and looking better
- stand up straight: nobody likes a sloucher... it's a display of insecurity and it's a big turnoff
- SMILE: ever notice that people who smile a lot get along better with others and even get their way more often?? Smiling is literally a secret weapon (don't smile because you feel awkward, smile because you are happy to be talking to the person you are in front of and because you are happy with yourself)
- Speak clearly: mumbling is a super insecure thing to do - if you want to say something, say it so people can hear- never be embarrased to ask questions
- keep good eye contact: not like you want to murder the person, haha, but when you are talking about something you want people to listen to- speak to the person directly

All of these things are soooo important- and not just for getting girls, but also for interacting with guys, progressing in your career, etc. Point being - I can show you 2 people with exactly the same genetics, and if one person is as you are now, and the other person does what I said above, the second person will be WAY more attractive to strangers and will actually have better luck in life because people's perception of him will be higher.

Fox - it's great that this hot guy gets girls just for being hot... that happens and I have many friends who are like this and have no personality because they were never forced to actually culitvate one! That said, it doesn't help those people who aren't. I have actually had plenty of success just based on my looks, and I strolled through high school and college that way- hell I've been with some of the best looking people in my school. Once I graduated and started working in Manhattan, I realized I was completely underestimating my potential and really started focusing on cultivating my game. I'm new to the PUA community but I figured out a lot myself and really blew it out for five years hahah- until I met my most recent girlfriend of 3 years. Actually just got rid of her too so I'm single again but that's another story lol!

Point is: EVERYONE can learn to be socially sucessful no matter who you are. I truly believe that. It can sometimes take a lot of work, and everyone starts at a different level, but if you approach the situation the right way and committed to the goal, it WILL WORK.

Orig Poster (sorry, forgot your name as I am typing too much haha). Don't go see a therapist because you can handle this yourself. Don't go to clubs because you are not ready for this yet and it will just make you more insecure because you will freeze up. Once you work on making yourself the best self you can be, what you need to do is put yourself in a position to meet new people on a NON-SEXUAL level. Find a way to get out of the house! This means joining a recreational sports league, or volunteering, etc. What I'm saying is, put yourself in a position where you are around people you don't know, but also where YOU HAVE A PURPOSE for being there. Going somewhere with the sole reason of meeting girls is going to be too much right now. It's all about BABY STEPS so it doesn't feel like a big risk. Of course, be open and try to talk to these people- it should be easier because you already have something in common!

Once you start getting more comfortable meeting new people, and you continue working on yourself, then try to catch a drink with them after the event or something. Go out with these new people and meet new people through them. You can't keep going out ONLY with the people you know because they already have a preconceived notion of you- and you are looking to break that! That doesn't mean don't hang out with them, just that you need to create some time to work on your new self

It's amazing how easily a guy can make up for not having the best genetics. Confidence will get you everywhere Good luck!!!! Keep us posted on your progress and I'm always happy to answer further questions!

Apologies- not sure why my message posted twice... oh well

Lastly, I wanted to mention that when you do go trying to meet girls- you don't need to go for an HB10... it is very difficult to date someone with more social value than yourself. You will often be vainly rejected, and when you are not rejected, you will feel like you are playing catch-up all the time. This is not healthy and it will actually bring down your confidence level! So basically, you need to be INCREDIBLY confident to pull off dating someone of higher value than yourself. That's why I say everyone starts at a different level. You don't really even WANT the HB10s beause their view of the world is different from yours and it will be very hard to converge your thoughts.

So go for women who are around your level. Start maybe below your level a little to build some confidence and experience. You will be happiest with someone you can relate to. But for now- work on creating a better self image and get out there with the idea of making some new friends

Practice and Experiment.

living proof even if you are hot with a muscular body chicks dont hit on you in public(not clubs,bars btw)

Realy that is the stupidist quote iv ever heard im 230lb (fat) and im ugly as hell but for example this weekend i had both girls and guys (i go to a few mixed clubs where my good friends work and they also have some of the strongest drinks ^_^) hitting/flirting with me but im so shy and scared to death of rejection (slowly changing that ) that i missed a great chance to get laid (witch i realized and aftarwards beat my self up) so ugly or hot it dosent matter there is always someone out there that will be atracted to your specific "look"