I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a month now, we dated for a while about 4 years ago, she was my first love, however soppy that sounds. We've been seeing each other on and off since we broke up 4 years ago, we've both cheated on our partners in the past with each other during those 4 years.

When is it okay to say that you love her? When you feel it? or should you always let the girl say it first?

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Not at all. I've been studying PUA for about a year now, and I have other girls that are interested in me but this one girl, my current girlfriend, stands out above all those other girls. I still go out and meet beautiful women, I still flirt with them, so it's definitely not oneitis.

TuneChiYu, I don't think this stuff was included in his question at all. Not everyone wants to get rid of "one-itises".

OP, when you admit your love, you basically set it in stone that she has you hooked, and that's usually when people start "slacking off" and getting bored. I like to just let it hang in the air and rather show it than say it. I wouldn't go as far as saying it until you aren't sure both of you are hooked enough (in love with each other) so much that you'd stay together whatever happens and not slack off. Given that you had an on and off relationship, don't say it yet, because you are setting yourself up for hurt. Wait until (if ever) the relationship becomes stable enough for it.

Fuck Love...

LOL

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

why do you wanna say her you love her???!!!!!

1.you already are sleeping with her..
2.you are hanging out with her..

what else do you need? you got everything..

pls dont say you love her.. its just gonna make her bored slowly.. and you lose 1 and 2..

When is it ok to say the L word? When you are putting the ring on her finger...So you guys have been dating off and on for 4 years and even cheated on your partners with each other (cute). Sounds like you guys just like fucking each other. Nothing wrong with being sexually compatible. Just dont confuse it with love.

It's a word. It doesn't have to change anything. Most people pussify themselves when this word passes their lips.

That being said, I think one month is too short. Whether you've cheated with each other or not you've still cheated, and it's something worth thinking about if you're going to put yourself out there.

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I'm a winner - I am going to win.

I opt for never saying it again.

Perhaps I am bitter?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

It is her job to bring the L-word to the table. I know with everything else in dating men take the initiative, but not when love is involved.

The "L-Word" is overrated. Just have fun...if it lasts it lasts, if not...bus comes every 15 minutes...

lol i think the person who says the L word first loses. been there done that.

I haven't said it to her. I read a few of these posts and realized that I should leave it down to her to bring it up first.

Someone said that just saying that word isnt going to change anything, I'll just carry on having fun, fucking her and enjoying her company.

change in a good way or a bad way in your opinion? i am curious too.

I think hobbit is right say it to soon and your clingy say it too late and well it'll be too late, timing is everything...and what I do with my girl is I told her not to make it a habit of using it...use it sparingly when you truly mean it so it doesn't lose its value...kinda like compliments...use em too often and they lose their punch...i realized this with one of my exs...I used to give her compliments all the time and one day she was really happy, I asked her why and she said this guy at work said she looked really pretty..pondering cause I tell her she's beautiful and she responds "well he's usually a jerk and it felt really good to hear it from him" yeah red flag lol