HB9 asian, 19 years old (I am 34) lives across the street from me. This girl always seemed to crush on me a little, but I've been in a relationship the entire time I've known her. Ran into her at a local house party last Friday which suggested I was available again. She came over early this afternoon to ask if she could borrow my bowl (glass pipe for marijuana smoking). I explained that it was full and I was smoking from it. So she asked if I wanted to smoke with her. I agreed and let her in.

Btw, I answered the door in lounge clothes: white T, lounge pants, bath robe and slippers. I answered the door like I was comfortable doing so, and I didn't balk when I realize it was HB behind that door. I also never bothered to change. I pick lounge clothes that look respectable, so I wanted to stay confident about it. Although, I really need to get some V-necks for my lounge clothes. U-necks just don't look right on me.

So my place is slightly trashed. It's in a transitional phase where I'm almost done cleaning it but I'm just not done yet. It's clean enough to have company over though. I did have to move a full garbage can though. She explained that her place was just as messy and sat down.

We talked and smoked for about 45 minutes. The conversation didn't really die down until the end, when we smoked another bowl and she left. She asked about my girlfriend and I explained that we had broken up about a month ago. She asked why and I gave a undetailed account without diminishing myself or talking down my ex too much. I also explained that this was part of what the mess was. She was kind of needy and my life kind of feel apart. I'm in the process of getting it back together. I explained that my bedroom and bathroom were actually spotless, and the kitchen was half done. The living room was only messy from getting things shoved in it while cleaning. I gave her a tour that assured her that the key areas a woman is interested in were indeed spotless. She said that I was young and still had time, and I said that I wasn't worried in the least. Once I get everything in order, I'm actally a pretty elligible bachelor.

She explained how she had broken up with her bf and gave me an undetailed account of how he screwed her over. She's also apparently been taken advantage of by a few people recently, so I let her vent a little without trying to solve her problems.

We also talked about pot and other stuff like how awesome my project (my main TV is a projector) is. I invited her over for a movie.

Now: I really think all of that went really, really well except for one thing: I wasn't touching her. If I don't start touching her soon I will quickly move into a non-sexual realm. Maybe I already am. I'm just not sure about comfortably touching people. I just don't do it. I'm not sure what I can do to get myself to do it. I should have at least one more opportunity, how do you suggest I initiate some touching?

For the record, I am only interested in fucking this chick, and I'm confident that I can do it proper. I may not have the sex drive of a 19-year old, but I have the experience of a 35-year old and I think she knows that. She seems DTF, I just need to not screw it up.

I gave her a tour that assured her that the key areas a woman is interested in were indeed spotless.

You went a little overboard with this. I would have told her that I was in the middle of getting things in order and left it at that.

It sounds like you know the game, but she seems to intimate you a little. Is it her age? Are you afraid of screwing things up? Remember, not taking the initiative to escalate can be just as detrimental as acting AFC.

Women typically wait for the GUY to make the first move (it's their anti-slut defense) even though they are ready to f*ck your brains out. Start with a little kino and go from there. Sit close to her on the couch, if she is standing in the kitchen or living room, put your hand on her waist and you walk by. These little touches send chills up a girls spine if she is digging you.

If she is not into you or at least curious (which I doubt at this point because she asked about your girlfriend and informed you of her situation), f*ck it. Find another 19 yr old to smoke with...they are a dime a dozen.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

She asked for the tour because our apartments are similarly styled. I was showing her how my house was laid out. She might have also been BS checking me, or just wanted to see my room. Either way, she asked so I obliged. I had nothing to hide.

She doesn't intimidate me. Quite the contrary. She's a down to Earth chick and she actually digs me, which actually makes me pretty comfortable around her. I didn't have to think about things to say, everything was very organic.

What intimidates me is touching people in general. Also, when I touch people I hesitate because I'm not used to doing it. Often its worse when I touch someone than when I don't because I put them off. Makes it hard to break that barrier. That's probably the biggest barrier between me and a whole lot of play: I just haven't yet learned how to pull off natural kino. When I was younger, I disliked people touching me. That's probably because people had used touching to manipulate me in the past. I've learned to naturally accept it when people touch me, but I still have trouble extending out that hand in most situations. When I do, it's usually a very concious effort, and that can get me into trouble.

Thanks for the advice so far. I'll do my best. I think I need some practice...

I'm not too particularly worried about this particular chick, I have a couple other pots on the stove. In fact, she'd probably just have to see me bring another chick around and it'd reignite any feelings she has for me. That seemed to be the trigger last time, even though my ex was like a 5. I could bring home some fat bitch and it'd probably still make her feel a little jealous. I have however had a couple of nightime fantasies that involve her and I really want to see those tiny little asian titties and rock her world. Which is to say - there's some sexual tension between us.

Interesting....it seems the touching thing goes a little deeper than I anticipated. I wish I could help more, but that goes beyond my realm of 'expertise'.

Bringing another chick around always seems to work for me.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

I can help with this a bit more I think. What you need to do is micro-calibrate with your kino escalation. Start by small touches on the shoulder perhaps, then move onto the leg, then maybe grab her hand, and so on. But seem natural about it. For example, "oh and that's my kitchen," *pointing in direction of kitchen while looking at it, and touching the side of her shoulder.* It's really important in the first beginning stages of initiating kino, take something away when you touch her. In the example I gave, you're taking away your eye contact when you touch her shoulder. Hops this helps a bit. Good luck!