Hey all,
To whoever will read this journal, I am Hit.
My ambition is to get rid of my ego. My nick name Hit is a part of my ego and I hope to get rid of it.
I joined this pua journey in the hope of finding THE one.
After reflection in my life I decided not to have sex before my future mariage. I did it once therefore I am not virgin.
I want to get rid of my unconfidence and start to live the life I deserve. I being sarging since last summer and I really improved with approaches but I still cannot socialise with people from my college. How will I ever be able to get THE one if I cannot learn more about others.

My goals are:
-Feeling good around others and be able to communicate without my HUGE ego.
-Being able to approach any women/men in a friendly manner.
-Make this world a better place using my pua skills.
-Learn to socialise and not hurt others. ( I do that in a self defence mechanism )

I was told that making a journal helps developing one's self which I already do. But I do not hold a PUA Journal.
This is my journey, welcome to my adventures.

First day: Self analyses.

Finally free to get back into my journal. (and have will to do it )
After reflexion, I realized that my entire life depended on my well being. No matter what I do can be improved if I feel good.
Weaknesses: I'm introverted which lead into inner problems. I think into myself and hate the world for not coming at me and not talking to me.
I'm rude because of the culture I nurtured in. I grew up in Paris, and a lack of confidence can be turn into rudeness which is why people got the impression that Parisians are rude. My rudeness comes from the fact that I'm socially scared (anxiety) and when I can't communicate my needs, I tend to be rude. Example, I want to try somebodies plate at a restaurant or a sandwich, instead of being polite and ask for it, I just take it or ask without waiting for an answer. This makes people say im rude.
Or I just say inappropriate things like nigger in a white community which scares them...
I spent my youth playing video games when others in my hood were either playing an instrument or wanna be a thug or playing sports. This excites me and refrain me to sleep and think clearly.
All that I am today is the cause of my youth. When a child things that I won't discuss happened.
I hate Japanese and Parisians

Objectif:

-Identify what makes me this way and fight it.
- Video games is a waste of time, I will replace them with books on developing myself and books for my career. I have no gain in video games and definitely have gain learning about me.
-Socialize with Japanese and Parisians not seeing them as Parisians or Japanese but as individual. Destroy the image I made of them.
- Learn to converse with anyone better than I can already do. Spend 30min a week listening to people I do not care about developing affability and truthfulness in relationship.
- Start seeing everyone as a friend and not question their actions.
- Stop ignoring people and open at least 5 person a day in my college to develop confidence in social circles.
- Meditate 30 min a day gradually to an hour in a month
- whoever I am with, I must make them feel comfortable and good around me. Set my mind to make people happy when they are down.
- Hit a club on my own once a month to develop comfortableness on my own in social places.
- Approach 5 girls a day in the street on my own to get rid of my anxiety. I can approach girls when I am with my friend but not alone.
- I will get back into dancing to have fun with my body and express my feelings if needed.
- Will develop real Human core values starting with Zac Lui post on it.

This is certainly a big task. If I dedicate myself to it, in a year, real confidence will rize and I will attract people toward me instead of rejecting them or struggle getting to the,. My career will be accessible with more ease and people around me will love me. I will be a true alpha man and will have a clearer mind choosing for my girl.

I didn't read everything but:

Growing up in Paris and being rude is absolutely unrelated.

Parisians are not rude it's a limiting belief. I talk to people on the street, they absolutely don't know anything about me and are still very polite.

EDIT: I guess you appear rude so people are rude with you.

I see your point buddy. The rudeness I have is something I have seeing before having it. I saw it in Paris. I have never seeing it in here. Therefore, it comes from Paris.

This first week was good.

I did not play video games, I went to a Japanese meeting fighting my hate trying to make them smile instead of being angry at me. I spoke and listened to bullshit I do not care about.
I made conversations at my college and made new acquaints.
What I done wrong was not enough meditation, not enough approaches on my own. I avoided people and was negative (Big time). I laughed at people like they were lookin stupid.
OVer all I would say more negativity than positivity, next week objective is the same with more efforts!.

Hmm, 30 minutes of meditation is a lot to start with. Try and have 10 minutes a day as a goal, and when you achieve that, you can slowly build the time up

Horrible, I have hating thoughts for japanese and parisians... will persists on that next week.
I play fifa 09 30 minutes a day (love football)
I made escuses to avoid people and not approach girls in the street.
I meditated 2/7 days.
I let myself go and hurted sensitive minds... Was lazy about everything

Positive things I've done was studying inner game and practicing it while in college. I did speak with somebody everyday but I'm still not pushing myself.
I discovered in night clubs that instead of fighting for values, i should go reach them. I danced with dudes for the first time and pushed myself having a good time, i had a bad time but I did it. After that night, i became more confident and did it again in another club where I turned the entire dancefloor into my friends!
I reduced meditation by 10 minutes thx to your advice post up mine.
Since im writting this during my third week, I feel much more confident today and havent stop getting better.
Zac's post is really effective and will continue on his advices
Objective remains the same looking to the future see where this will place me

Had a good week. apart from approaching 5 women and video games, done everything.
I accepted Japanese for what they are and it opened my mind that they are only being shy and dont really speak english. All the problems i have comes from my head.
Wake up every morning and meditate straight up for 10 minutes. I feel at the end of the 10 minutes that it was too short, will push it to 15 minutes.
talking with people in my school made me happier and I can act more freely around them and I smile and laugh more.
I had great Social anxieties since friday, I do not know where it come from but i think i think too much when I talk to someone telling myself to be good. will let the flow go on.
I feel more comfortable around people. 2 girls on a bus approached me saying hi... which never happened to me before. I knew this would help with women and I wont stop.
Objectif, become better at what im doing and write a journal everyday about what i did wrong and what i did good and analyse it every week end!
People loves me more than before and im happier with myself and life.
Things are getting better. Ups and down in life of course.

man... What a week.
Monday-till Wednesday I felt evil and aggressive. I do not know where it come from. Thursday was healing from it and today (sunday) Im myself again.
I done all my excercices. I pushed mysefl listening to french and japanese and looked at them in a different eye. Gotta make more efforts with them, people come to me and tells me how crap french people are... doesnt make it easy . They keep on saying how rude parisians are lol...
My listening skills got better :O I now dont force myself to listen to what people have to say but gotta still practice it for 30 minutes. Pushing myself for the first weeks now show progresses.
I still do not approach 5 women a day... I did approach people in college which is great.
This tuesday went to a club alone and was scared to do anything, I closed myself and waited for me mates who were coming 30 minutes later. Next time I will create my social circle before my mates arrives.
During that night I had FUN!!! Met many girls and guys. Opened a set with a girl (BIB BOOBS!!!! OH YEAH) and 4 guys around her. I went up and pointed at her boobs and say with my fingers how nice they were. She played me back saying my dress? I insisted your boobs, she says my bag? your boobs, my necklace? your boobs and i left them. 30 seconds later she game me IOI saying come back.
Last night had a hugy night with a girl who knows I love pepe le pew. I met her 3 weeks ago. She brought me a gift...
I asked her feed back on me admitting her I do approaches. She's like I did it because i feel comfortable around you. Man... after 5 years struggling socializing trying to get girls who were creeped out by me this finally comes!! OH YEAA
I must work harder because I feel im still not myself and making the right efforts.
A met of mine told me I'm creepy and so did that girl. She says when you look at me im creeped out.
Objective: Push myself even more this week doing all excercices with quality, and analyses what makes me creepy.

This was her gift!

*sight*
I fucked her... i did not meditate, i spent time with japanese and accepted them and felt one of their friends... shit powerful stuff.
Sex was crap... I feel guilty. I enjoyed it and talk about it with passion, wet pussy is so appealing.
her screaming kept me going, great stuff.
Wont have sex till wedding.
Found out why im creepy, nothing to worry, it came from creepy people. other interpret it as me over staring. im not creepy i just aloud myself enjoying what i see and guys who are scared to look at girls, says im creepy.
It came from his fears and affected me.
Im on holiday and did not put any efforts. I will dedicate my next week to my school work.
I played football today with new people and enjoyed being in a social group. I was a leader too today but wasnt strong enough on my views.
I grew up more mature this week. I had lots of fun and people finally accepts me.
I walk in the street with no worries, i cant believe how great this is!
Im getting better. more work into this is important and ill get better.
Cant believe i had sex. The feeling of my dick touching whatever was inside her pussy... GREAT!