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Success is a Process.
Considering the best way to grow as an individual is to receive constant criticize and input from your peers (In line with the economist theory that the world is spiky) I am starting this 'Process Journal.' Hobbit mentioned on the chat that 'We always view success as something you achieve, but successful people never stop - It's a process.' Those words stuck to me and inspired me to start this journal. I remember watching Randy Pausch's last lecture about achieving childhood dreams. He didn't accomplish them overnight - he continually worked to achieve them throughout his life until he reached an end result.
This isn't going to be one of those regular field report journals. This is going to be all that and a bag of chips. Dale Carnegie once wrote (and I paraphrase)
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The first step to Success/Completion is to want the end result bad enough. When deep down you are devoted to your cause, will you derive the strength to change/succeed.
I feel that it is essential for me to pinpoint an end result for the purposes of this journal but "Happiness" and "Success" seem to be too bland. Through this journal I hope to catalog my process of reshaping my social life and more importantly myself as an individual.
I was at the mall today and purchased Dale Carnegie's book "How to win friends and influence people." After I purchased my book I walked into a clothing store where one of the girls working in the store blurted out "Oh my god - I remember you! We had that really long conversation during black Friday." I remarked that she had the wrong person, exchanged a few words, and I went back to my shopping. What stuck with me was that even 5 months later, this "attractive" girl still remembered a conversation from a regular customer. I suddenly felt myself wanting to be that guy who made that initial impression on her.
Suddenly approaching made sense, socializing made sense. People want to socialize - it "clicked" so to speak. It's perfectly normal to talk to a girl and give her your number, or ask for it because thats what people do. People talk. Years of conditioning that our words of consequences have scared us from letting others hear our voice. I read in a psychology book that people are becoming more and more individualistic and secluded/isolated. If all it takes is to speak up to separate yourself from everyone else, why aren't I doing it? Rapper Lil B calls it
based.
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Based means being yourself. Not being scared of what people think about you. Not being afraid to do what you wanna do. Being positive. When I was younger, based was a negative term that meant like dopehead, or basehead. People used to make fun of me. They was like, ‘You’re based.’ They’d use it as a negative. And what I did was turn that negative into a positive. I started embracing it like, ‘Yeah, I’m based.’ I made it mine. I embedded it in my head. Based is positive.
I'm normally the first one to speak whats on my mind in the presence of my friends, but I always hold my tongue when it comes to strangers. That needs to change and it will as I become more sociable and meet new people.
Some tidbits about me. A lot of people think I'm arrogant or cocky. I broke it down for my friend -
I rather have confidence mistaken for arrogance then to have neither at all. I've gone through my phases with women - Putting them on a pedestal, 'hating them', being assholes to them, and have finally settled in the median.
Women are just the product of a fucked up society.
Lastly Hobbit said - "
you always improve yourself and then end up with a girl who matches. Well that is my end goal of sorts. A long term relationship, with a girl who 'matches' would be a nice finish line for this journal; and a starting point for another.[/quote]