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This means - go see your other girl(s) you probably have, I can't do this relationship the way things stand any more, try and convince my why I should come see you.
Yes I consciously remind myself to put myself out there and keep my options open. This is very important in keeping a clear head when you first get involved with a woman.
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What the text tests for - if you freak out, try and convince her, etc, then you show emotional investment in her (which she wants to see some of), but at the same time neediness (massive turn off).
If you don't reply at all, you show a lack of neediness (good), but a complete lack of emotional investment (what if she were really ill?)
Right. I definitely went a bit overboard though. Her behavior caught me by surprise this time... wont happen again.
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The best response would be something along the lines of "Oh, u not feeling well? I guess it's a boys night out on the town again for me then! Have some chicken soup and get some rest, and I'll see you when you're better
"
Just ONE text like that, and you show you do actually care if she's ok, but at the same time you have other shit going on and her flaking on you is not gonna fuck your life up.
Totally agree with that. Now if only I had a time machine... haha
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You pushed for sex last time and she didn't like it. Next time, take things slower, really build the foreplay, and tell her how beautiful she looks to you and make her feel special.
Had a talk with her on the phone last night which went really well and now she's coming over tonight. I let her know that regardless of what happened before or what we talked about; every day is a different day and both you and I may or may not be in the mood for sex and because of that I'm not going to expect to have sex with her every time she comes over. I'm going to tread lightly tonight though, take her out to dinner, then come back to my place for a movie and some drinks. I want to show her I enjoy her company regardless of whether we have sex or not and just do my thing. I believe that's why she became attracted to me in the first place.
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(4) NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THIS. She has fucked guys before you. She will likely fuck guys after you. DEAL WITH IT. Let her ex text her. Who the fuck cares? She is with YOU now, not him. Showing an ounce of jealousy, or being the slightest bit controlling about this is a HUGE turn-off and telegraphs massive insecurity on your part. DON'T DO IT.
You are absolutely right. I need reminding of this because when you start to become attached to a woman it's easy for those negative emotions to creep in and control your behavior.
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I'm willing to bet she wasn't in the mood because of your jealous behaviour about the ex texting situation. And then you pushed for sex and made her feel even shittier.
That is a good possibility...
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You should NEVER apologise about wanting to have sex with her. Sex is not something she "gives" you. Sex is something she loves and wants to have too, she just needs more emotional connection, she needs to be made to feel desired and wanted by you first.
If you want sex, do not apologise for it. If you honestly want to hang out with her an not have sex, then by all means say so. But if you're just saying that because you think it's what she wants to hear, then DON'T FUCKING SAY IT.
I never have and never will apologize for wanting to have sex. I tell her openly and confidently that I think she is gorgeous, smart, fun to be around, and gets me going like nobody else can... and I don't say it just to say it; I mean it.
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Her responses of "interesting" and "lol ok" are not positive, she's just responding that way because she KNOWS what you're saying is BULLSHIT. What she wants you to do is show her that you like her for more than just the fact she's attractive and you enjoy doing more with her than JUST sex. It doesn't mean she wants to go days without fucking any more than you do.
Right... but like I said, we talked on the phone last night and I think I really comforted her and put any anxiety she was feeling to rest. After all she is coming over tonight
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NEVER give a girl a present out of guilt or to apologise. Give to them freely for no reason at all, or give to them because they've done something you like.
Absolutely. I don't even have the desire to do something like that, so it's not much of a concern. She also knows that when I pay for dinner, bowling, or whatever that it's not something I'm going to hold over head and expect something in return for.
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Do nothing. Just leave it, and send her a text tomorrow or the next day something like "OMG crazy night with [some friend's names] last night! You should have been there! U feeling better?" Then take things from there.
That's exactly what I did before I even read your response. I let a day go by without communication and texted her the next day with a nearly identical statement to the one you made above and things have been going great since.
Thank you for reinforcing and confirming what I already knew deep down I should be thinking and doing. It always helps to hear these things from another person to reinforce them in one's own mind. Like I said, it can be easy to lose one's self when you start getting attached to a woman. I needed to recenter myself.
CHAT