Okay, here's one for you.

Yesterday I asked my girlfriend to come around my house and spend the day with me, and she agreed. last night, I sent her a last minute text just to confirm that she would be coming around, and I got no response, it was quite late so she was probably asleep. I woke up this morning, checked my phone and still no text, checked Facebook like I do every morning, and a few things she posted came up onto my news feed.

Come say, 12PM I decided that she clearly wasn't going to text back, she must be busy with other stuff, so I made plans to meet up with a friend of mine, a few minutes after I'd confirmed plans with my friend, she texted me asking if I were awake, I replied saying yes, and she then said that she was thinking about going into town and that I should come with her, so, now shes completely changed our plans altogether.

I didn't come across as annoyed, I simply replied explaining that I assumed she was busy, and made plans with my friend instead, and that I could see her later on in the day instead, and now shes completely pissed at me.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the right here. How would you handle it?

She has absolutely nothing to be pissed about. Stay calm and simply explain the situation to her. Why you did what you did (as you already explained) - but also why she has no reason to be pissed off and how this can be prevented in the future (by being more organized and doing the things she said she would do). Don't create a lot of drama because of this little thing though. Explain how you feel and make it clear that both of you will stick to your plans in the future and report to each other if a situation changes.

let her know that her schedule doesn't control you, and your not gonna wait just for her reply, she didn't reply then its time to do other stuff your not gonna be at home looking at the wall till she is ready to do what she wants to do

i like all the responses so far. The trick is to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior by ignoring cries for attention.

Dont match her negative energy bc that creates a situation, you want her to feel as though she is the only one being emotional, thus making her look immature. That hurts the ego a lot more. Plus, sounds like she is totally shit testing you subconsciously.

Thats bullshit, and completely disrespectful........
Don't overreact, just tell her how you feel in a calm firm manner

I have a policy (regardless of gender) of calling people out when they show me blatant disrespect. I would call her out on it. Not in a bitchy, snotty way. I would punish her for that shit. Does she have a sister? lol, j/k

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Mack is right, you have to punish her now. You did the right thing explaining it. You didn't argue with her or come off as annoyed or angry. You EVEN tried to compromise to make it a win-win situation. Now is the time to be a man and whip her childish as back into place.

Don't do it with the means of ending the relationship though. Just be like, "Look, what you are doing is disrespectful and you're fucking it up with me." After that don't say shit until she submits. You have to treat her like a child.

Shit..and they say girls are more mature than guys.

Thanks guys, appreciate it.

In the end, I did meet up with some friends and ended up meeting her two ours later than I had planned, not purposely, it just happened that way, when I did get to her house I just acted like nothing had happened and hugged her, I figured going out with my friends instead of waiting around on her proved I wasn't her puppet, and turning up later served as a punishment.

^By being 2 hours late and not mentioning it at all, you're practically giving the impression that being punctual is nothing important to you in this relationship.

She did it, now you did it. And nobody said anything about it.

It's like you're giving her permission to do it again next time, because clearly it doesn't seem to bother you at all - and you couldn't care less about the fact that you're not being punctual yourself.

This is what happened: Your girlfriend did something that bothers you in the relationship.

This is how you solved it: You did nothing at all. In fact, you did exactly what she did to you. This can only go the opposite way of where you wanted it to go.

Try being clear about the things you want in a relationship. If something is bothering you enough for you to write in a PUA forum - then surely that gives you every reason to talk to her about it. Don't nag and be a crybaby about it. Just make sure both of you know what you want in this relationship and you share it with each other one way or another.

Communication is key. Like in every romantic relationship.

Wow... I've just realised exactly why I screwed up with a girl just recently.

Danzella, never do this again this way, or you'll lose the control.

*shaking head, wondering "why in the fuck" do we live in a world where we NEED to TELL women it's not okay to show up two hours late and shit like that*

WTF happened to common decency?
WTF happened to common sense?

i don't want a woman that i have to raise as a child.......

teaching her life lessons about

punctuality,
respect,
courtesy,
reciprocation,

i understand the jedi mind tricks,

but i spent ten years raising two little girls:

- my daughter

and

-my ex

FUCK...THAT...SHIT

(NO FLAKE POLICY)

someone fucks with me like that, man OR woman, i'm letting them know. i'm not going to be nice about it. why the fuck be nice about something You know and I know is wrong?

isn't that AFC? acting nicey-nicey about shit that pisses us off?

when chicks pull that shit on me i just straight up say "call me when you have some common sense".

if they don't call, no loss.

fuck all this RAISING WOMEN AS OUR CHILDREN BULLSHIT.

so sick of hearing it.

/rant

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

This is what it looks like when you try to apply pick up method to relationships. It doesn't have to be so complicated.
Exactly. This is how people enter an endless cycle of push-pull, punishment/reward, neurotic behavior. It is a death cycle for relationships.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Wait a minute, this thread is getting confusing. WHO was 2 hours late? The way I see it is that he was 2 hours late, not her.

The point is not who was late, the point is that the advice being offered is mostly not all that great.

Danzella's GF was late to respond to his message. Danzella was then late for a meet-up.

Danzella: It sounds like your GF over-reacted, based on what you say, but assume for a minute that she had done the same to you and for some reason you hadn't seen her texts. You'd probably be upset that by the time you contacted her she had already made plans with someone else.

Regardless, if you're trying to make a point to her that you don't appreciate being flaked on (even though you were not really flaked on in the end) then any sort of punitive reaction is going to backfire, as Hobbit said. (NOT that any of this applies to what happened, I'm just trying to clarify my advice from before)

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- Lux et Veritas -

humans have instincts for a reason.

that reason is to guide us when we are presented not with actual proof or even with a preponderance of the evidence...

no...

that reason is to guide is IN THE ABSENCE of those things. and instincts are remarkably accurate, that's how they aid our survival.

if a woman makes you FEEL flaked on, dissed, ignored, forgotten, disrespected, etc. it doesn't matter whether you have proof or evidence of intent, it matters that SHE IS MAKING YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

our instincts (those guiding senses) allow us to choose which path to take based on that 93% of communication which is nonverbal.

this dude knows his girlfriend. if he senses she flaked...then she flaked.

it's not a court case.

it's a relationship.

there is no judge and jury, it's not debate or philosophy class, it doesn't matter who is "right" or "wrong". it matter hows the parties involved "feel" or, more correctly "perceive" what is happening.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!