I am having issues with two girls right now, and I am at a total loss as to what to do about either of them. I am very new to PUA stuff and any advice offered would be brilliant.
My ex (Eve) and I were together for nearly 5 1/2 years and they last july we broke up when she had to go abroad for a year. We spoke about it and decided we would still chat loads and try to maintain our relationship because when she came back we planned on getting engaged. We spoke over SPAM loads and had a little fun over SPAM as well, with me planned to go see her 3 times. But then she started seeing this guy, but id already booked tickets to see her so i went anyway.
This guy (Tim) is a natural, such a gravitating personality i had to constantly remind myself that he was banging my girl to stop me liking him. Yes i had to meet him (and yes i know that is a total AFC thing to do). Then when before i left i proposed, we agreed to stop seeing other people, but within weeks she was sleeping with him again, from what i could tell he was doing classic boyfriend destroyer routines on her (taking my side and making her point out what was wrong with us).
After this being devastated, i acted like a total AFC, begged her to let me come see her again gave her ultimatums. Classic stuff to drive her away. We didnt speak for a while, and she changed country and then when we spoke these two were in a long distance relationship and in "love". She told me she loved him more than me, 4 months to love someone more than 5 1/2 years. I still dont think it is possible but whatever.
So then depression took over and i drove her further and further away. She keeps telling me she wants to be my friend, but im not going to be that guy that is in love with his best friend, but i dont want to lose her.
Girl two(Lisa) is a girl i have liked for a while, she lives far away and we were friend for ages. But i hadn't spoken to her in a couple years. Eve knew it was always a bit more than friendship and got jealous and made our relationship impossible. Me and Lisa have always been physically attracted to each other, and when she found out about the brake up she initiated contact.
I was talking to her about needing a brake for a couple days to clear my head and she told me to come see her. So i went but i was scared of getting involved and acted again like a total AFC, i knew this girl could hurt me and i still feel fragile. So nothing happened between us apart from it was clear she wasnt attracted to me, not in my usual confident state.
Have i messed it up with both girls too much or is there a way to salvage either relationship? I would like to have both of them wanting me to be honest, as i am not sure if i want to be with either of them i would just like the option.
With lisa when she comes to london and if i am so different, 100% confident playful etc, could she put it down to being outside of my comfort zone that i was acting like that, also she has just got out of a 2 year relationship so is a bit gaurded.

girl 1 - sounds like she was in control the whole 5.5 years. the relationship should be set up in such a frame that, SHE IS CONSTANTLY WORRIED ABOUT LOSING YOU. not the other way around.

and when she cheats or even crosses ANY line, you INSTANTLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY end the relationship. this is because you are high value, and have alot of other options ALL THE TIME.

but you, you probably didnt have any options during the 5.5 years, turned into an AFC ( or already was one) and when she left, she found a REAL man, who turns her on and makes her attractd like you probly never did.

Not trying to be harsh to YOU specifically, but im just telling it how it is.
you are actually pathetic in trying to get her back AFTER SHES fucked another guy.... you actually disgust me .

LOL awesome,
so me saying i wanna screw her one more time to end her relationship with this other guy, and basically destroy anything she has with that guy is what i actually want but i didnt think it sounded to great and people might question my ethics.

Sounds like you might agree with that mate.

and your reply really wasnt helpful

Well if your gonna post on an internet pickup forum , it is advisable to NOT LIE about details, since, the very fact of you posting a story and lying about the details, on an Internet pickup forum, is rediculous in itself.

anwyays,
what you need to understand is that your whole mindset is in the wrong place.
true this bitch fucked with you. but from the start, she probably had control.

pick a day, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next week, and from that day onwards, you must change your mindset.
you must be a MAN- a man doesnt get emotional from a womans actions or reactions, he just plows through on his own agenda and DISMISSES any woman who comes in his way.

see I could give you advice on how to try to bang your ex, but that would be silly.
you should improve yourself as a person, and be able to attract more girls easily. once you do this, you will notice that its the girls who will be chasing you, not the other way around. this is where you want to be

ahahahahahahaha

bwahahahahahaha

rofl rofl rofl lmao lmao lmao lol lol lol

holy shit, i haven't laughed that hard in ages

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Go on give me advice on how to bang my ex, we will see how good you are.

And changing a mindset is easier said than done. Im guessing you have never loved a woman, talked about spending the rest of your life with her, having kids and all that shit.

I could walk away from it now but what does that show, that shows that im a pussy and i just let other guys steal my girls without fighting. A "man" as you say it doesn't back away from a confrontation, and when he is imasuclated he proves his masuclinity. I want to have her and then walk away, that shows true strength, rather than walking away from something you dont possess.

And this forum is for help, not to be insulted. You dont know me, or know how much of a man i am. But im guessing that because you care so much about that it is something that you yourself are not very secure with. And lets face it, if we were 100% comfortable talking to the other sex and dealing with women and getting laid sites like this would exist. And if you were, you wouldnt be a member here.

I dont mean to insult you or pick out any insecurities that you do or dont have, it is just i cant stand keyboard warriors. So please either offer some advice which i will thank you for. And if/when it works i will thank you again. Or dont and just leave the thread for someone more helpful to reply to.

i hope you aren't talking to me, dude. i was just laughing at the fact that he said "you disgust me", it truly was one of the funniest things i've ever read.

i never claimed to be a keyboard warrior or attacked you.

but objectively speaking, it was hilarious.

never been with a woman five years? and talked about having kids?

i was with a woman for twelve years and had kids. she ripped my heart out, destroyed my family, stole my daughter's college fund, and fucked random nasty dudes off the internet before she left.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

not you mate it was fucking hilarious his statement ill give you that. You didnt say anything to me or anything.

Sorry for the confusion. Maybe you could help me?

And im very very very sorry for what happened to you. Mine hurt. I cant even begin to imagine what you went through

I apologize for not offering anything of value to you.

I just get extremely upset reading stories like yours.. Ive been there before, its not pretty. I understand that you had plans for a future and bla blabla. But the instant the other party -whether male or female- demonstrates that they are no longer looking forward to this "future" I dont understand how any person would continue chasing.

why do you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you?

Right now, youre probably in an emotional state from this break up. So your logic is FLAWED.

she wants to be your friend??? the best thing you can do for yourself is tell her to FUCK OFF forever. I would not waste a second of my time over her. you dont want to lose her???? DOOD you already have. shes with someone else and told you st8 up that they are in love.... no self respecting "man" would put up with this shit.

a man makes decisions and STICKS TO THEM. once you demonstrate that you are able to go back on your word, you are FUCKED-. she will never respect you.

also understand that there are MILLIONS and millions of HOT amazing girls out there, waiting, HOPING for a cool guy to sweep them off their feet.

and you are wrong-- walking away from this is a very fucking manly thing to do.

well my thinking is, it would really really piss her off to fuck her, ruin her relationship and then she would leave me the fuck alone, instead of calling my mum up and shit like that. I want her to leave me alone, but she is fucking relentless.

maybe but whats the point?
your trying to "win" in a silly game. you are better off spending your time improving yourself, finding other girls, and fucking them.

let her call your mom. just dont talk to her, dont text her, dont email her. delete everything that reminds u of her etc.

this is assuming you truly dont want to be with her. i dont kno the whole story but im sure there are issues in your relationship that brought the initial break up on, aside from the moving abroad part.

if this girl is so shallow that she had to go off and fuck another guy, have to nerve to introduce him to you, and still tell you she wants to be your friend, after youve PROPOSED to her, i would be disgusted with her and rid myself asap.

but maybe you are OK with putting up with this kinda shit. I am telling you tho that if you develop a mindset that DOESNT put up with any bullshit, you will be playing a very different ball game.

i realise i am giving you long term advice for a question that you requested a short term solution. but start thinking longer term man. give up immediate gratification for longer term success. this girl aint worth shit. Even if she begged you to be with her, would it ever really be the same?

I dont want her, i want to ruin her. Ive worked my way through 15 books in the last 2 months on this stuff, i've read everything by everyone. I go out practice 3 nights a week. She is the motivation for this, so i can win this game.

Yea i know im a little fucking weird, but we all have our shit. And with out this end game the path i will take down this road will go a lot slower. Mind frame, ill change. Ill build the attractive lifestyle and everything i am sleeping with other girls cool, hotter than her aswell. But the motivation for all of this, for everything, is to make her feel the pain that i felt. Yes it is a stupid game, and no it wont make me feel better but who cares. It is what i want to do.

Irreprably have her out of my life, once and for all. Gone

So forget all the stuff they put in the books, about mastering your innerself and all that shit. My situation is personal and hasnt been covered in a book, i need someone with a bit of experience to help. So if u can offer some advice please do

What does it tell you about your girl, if a guy can steal her from you? She wasn't stolen she left because she wanted him more than you, face the facts, man up too that shit and walk away from the situation, go out and bang other chicks, hell get into a relationship with a girl you actually care for. The only way you can get your ex back is when you don't want her back, but forget that slut and move on.

Fictional you are entering a dangerous ground believe me you think you have control but you dont, you are mad and things arent clear. What is happening to you it reminds alot of my story too. When my ex G/F told me that she moved on after just 2 months apart that what she felt wasnt all that stronger, it really fucked my head, she told me I was specia diferent for the others l we made plans and was really the girl at this point who made me fall in love, and was the one I considered to try to have serious relantioship which I didnt never would spend much time with a girl..

I did what you are doing I dive in PUA JUST FOR HER tried almost everthing it gave me my confidence changed my life, so I showed her I was a big shark in small pound, came with a plan to fuck her would make her fall in love with me and then kick her ass on the next curve Yeah I was having a really bad time.t I failed you wanna know why? It took me 3 weeks for her to be CRAWLING AT Y FEET, and then I seize the opportunity and fucked her. That night was probably one of the worst nights when i saw her in my arms completly helpless it reminds me how much I loved her. So instead of me grabbing my clothes and leaving I stayed. The fucking pain I had was gone after a short while I saw she loved me told me she wasnt expecting this that its rare for her to turn on a decision and this reverted to my Afc days and all my plans went to the trash, the girl i loved was with me once again you cant believe the hapiness I was feeling in the end I WAS THE ONE AT HER FEET. Be carefull bro srls, it was one of the hardest lesson that life gaved me

Instead of you pushing her away i think you are pulling at least that whats happened to me.