Let's break down AA into steps:



STEP 1

For a lot of guys, which suffer from AA (I'm one of them also), there is right now only one objective in the game, how to approach a set and start talking to them. I think, that this is the number one reason, that our comunity is so big, guys don't approach girls so often as they should be, so when they see that hot blonde, that they want to approach, they say to themselves ''I could approach her, but man I still haven't read that book/routine that I could use and if I would have read it, she would be so mine, I'll try that next time.'' And the next time this little scenario repeats again.

Sounds familiar?!

Of course that 'next time' isn't a promise to yourself that you'll accualy do the approach, it's just an excuse not to do it now, and next time it'll be also an exuse not to do it.
But if you now ask yourself, ''Why I don't do the approach, I've seen guys do that on internet, it doesn't look hard.'' But when the chance comes to approach, anxiety just keeps you in your head, where it's 'safe' and when there's no more chance to approach you think to yourself again ''Hey I can do that.''

Conclusion:
- You feel AA only, when there is a posibility to 'destroy' it.
- This effects your behaviour and actions.
- These new behaviour and actions are keeping you off the prize.

Question:
- How to minimize AA into smaller size of feelings to maximize your chances of reaching the your goal?



STEP 2

Well as we have seen, the problem here is inner game, which as a result effects your outter game and that effects your abilities. So to solve the problem, you must start with your inner core.
I suggest, that you take a paper and on one side you write feelings that you have when you don't have to approach (when you think, that you can get any girl) and on the other side feelings, that you get just before you're about to do the approach (when your AA is at its peak). Now take a look at your 'bad feelings' site and try to figure it out, what do I need to change, what mindset do I need to own, right before the approach to minimize this feelings


[[[ME: I personally try to have 4 mindsets in my head before the approach:

1. I do not give a damn about other people think of me
2. I'm just gonna fuck around
3. AA isn't the fear it's the excitement (like skydiving)
4. My game is a 10, I could just get the girl (100% belief)
BTW these are not sorted by importance, each of them is equally important to me]]]


The turn the page and ask yourself, what do I do, what mindset do I need to own, to amplify these 'good feelings'.


[[[ME:

1. Smile
2. Walk with good posture (shoulders back, chest out, but don't exaggerate, like you're going to knock down a football team)
3. Have fun (I know this is hard sometimes, but if you're creative anything can become fun)
4. I took a really long thought on that and if AA=skydiving, you really like the adrenaline just before you jump [which I really do] and the more that the fear before the jump rises, the more of that fear you would like to feel (it's like a drug) and it's the same with AA, I try to visualize jumping out of an airplane when I feel AA and as funny as it sounds, I just want it to grow to the max and beyond with that picture in my head. {it hepls ME}]]]


When you have this two things sorted out (good feelings amplified and bad feelings attenuated) you’re on a good way, to sort out your inner game (BTW I’m not there yet ).

Conclusion:
- I have my feelings in order now, I can game anywhere, anytime and I can game GOOD.
- Nothing can stop me.
- The only thing now to do is to go out and DO it.



STEP 3

So let’s ASSUME that, you do have this mindsets and most of the guys do that and boom they game the shit up (cause they believe in their new mindsets so much that nothing else matters to them), but then very often another problem emerges, you approach a girl and after you leave her, there are 3 possible scenarios that are going through your head:

- Man that was scary, I’m not doing this again, I almost had a hart attack.
- It was great, but now I’m loss of energy, I can’t do anymore sets today.
- That thing fucking rocked, I want more.

If we put the third one aside!

Conclusion:
- After you approached your first set, you got so excited, that it backfires.
- There is still something missing to a new mindset.

Question:
- How to approach second, third… set, after you've approached the first one.



STEP 4

There is a thing called persistance, which in my opinion is the only core action, that'll get you to progress in your game (under the circumstance, that sometimes maybe someone else has something right and you wrong and you can adapt to that [we call that common sense ]).
Also in addition you have one useful tool in PU (for solving AA) and that is WARM UP SETS. I started to experiment with that recently and when I went out one night I said OK I'm not gonna do warm ups, I'm going in with a purpose and the other night I did warmp ups with the intention of screwing them up and here are the results:


Without warm up sets:

- I expecteed a result therefore, I was more nervous in the set, especially, when I went from total silent mode into total social mode.
- After few sets I said to myself, ''Man WTF is wrong with these girls no one is in a party, there is no worth to game here''
- Each set was opened a lot worse than the previous one, cause I had a wanted result in my head and my energy went down and the girls noticed it.

With warm up sets:

- I know, I'm gonna screw up the set, so who cares, what I do.
- I came in more relaxed, energetic and I had FUN.
- When exiting some girls accualy simled and threw IOIs at me, so I can assume that the set went well, even if it was a warm up.


There is also an advantage to a warm up set, which come in handy where most guys that go over AA get stucked
WHAT TO SAY NEXT.

If you really go from silent mode to social mode in a heartbeat, you run your 'memorized' opener and then blank, when you do warm ups, you get into a talkative mode and the things just start poping into your head, you can continue conversation without even thinking about it, cause it starts to flow naturally and ultimately that's how your conversation should flow (cause, that's how it flows with your friends/familiy/co-workers…).
BTW if that doesn't work, you can have some routines at the beginning, just to make the conversation running, it does the same fucking thing, but there can be some problems with routines (called out on your game/some guys get fucked by their own head, because they repeat one routine too many times/besides the recitation you need to come up with BL, facial expressions, delivery… for the routine/…)

Conclusion:
- Persistance (used with common sense) gets you forward
- Warm up sets are advantage because of getting into talkative mode/loosing AA for next sets!!!/having fun/…
- After warm up sets conversation USUALLY flows naturally.





Now I'm not saying, ''this is alpha and omega of AA '', that is just what I (try to) do to kill my AA, if you find it siutable for you, give it a shot it just might work.

_________________
How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

I found the best way i overcome it (although im still making sure it's under the belt and won't stop me again) is Progressive Desensitisation. I also used Meditation but i couldn't say how much that actually helped as its not a measurable thing.

But definitely by just smiling and saying HI or asking how much the drink they had was then building from there made it easier to start actually speak to women. I think until you can just stroll on up to women whenever, its good to be just speaking and doing w/e you can to keep in the mood and frame of speaking to strangers as normal.


I found mindsets and lots of other things never helped. At all.

Also before i went out, i'd write a big list, on top of my journal, of every form of approach i'd ever done and how it went and what i thought about it (them being responsive, friendly, it going well, me seeing how relaxed it really was) so these references were in my head.

Another thing that was good for me at the actual time the approach was to just start walking in their direction and saying "Hi" loud enough for everyone to hear, so you're in the interaction whether you like it or not.

Its cool what works for you though This is just the practical things i found that helped.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

haha nice, for the past 5-6 hours I've been writing a monster post about AA too.... will post it when it's done (still loads of rambling in it, trying to put my thoughts into words).

I will definitely vouch for the warm-up sets technique though, it's the best technique to overcome AA and it's also known as "Social Momentum". You get to an "I don't give a fuck anymore"-Zen like state and AA dissolves... for 1 night, only to come back again the next morning.

First approach of the night is the hardest, give yourself permission to fail it and get it over with.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Hmmm good point man, I can see this be very useful, where you create a positive momentum in field.
Exactly, I find that, after I've done my warm ups, all approaches are 5 times easier than before, because I don't over think it anymore and I have fun RSD also talks a lot about 'the state' and the truth is that helps a lot

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Nice Post!!!
Props to writing all that out !

I wish we had a Facebook Like Button to click

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V3nu

Everything u wrote it was like reading myself everytime time i go out sarging. I approach one set and then : I believe my biggest sticking point is the fact, that i go out sarging only once a week. And thus the AA cycle repeats itself every weekend. So i must start daygaming because i can go to a club only once a weekend ( i live in a very small town ).
And like shahanshah said, keep a journal, that way you will know what u did wrong and how to improve.

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The Dude Abides

The problem needs to be more clearly defined than simply calling it 'inner game issues' and deciding there is a list of X Y and Z that you must convince yourself of before its fixed. especially when X Y and Z aren't actually true for you.
This is a good mindset, however if you DO give a damm about what other people think of you and keep telling yourself you don't...this is simply delusion
A great mindset if its actually true, doing something with the primary goal being you own entertainment/amusement is no doubt better than being outcome dependent based on someone else's reaction...however if you 'goal' is to get a girl, going and talking to her because you want to hook up with her but telling yourself that it isn't your goal...is delusion
The AA stems from a fear of rejection, trying to convince yourself that your fear isn't a fear....is....delusion.
If your game is a 2 and you tell yourself its a 10, your game doesn't suddenly skyrocket to that level...again...when something isn't true and you tell yourself it is true...its....called....delusion
A better mindset is, identify why your afraid to approach, realize its a fear of rejection...then find out things you can DO that will eliminate that fear of rejection...not delude yourself and tell yourself it isn't a fear...that your big, strong amazing, that it couldn't be a fear, that it must be excitement instead...none of this eliminates the underlying issue it simply covers it in a layer of delusion and confusion.
Actually doing it is the important thing, one of the primary ways to conquer a fear is exposure to the thing your afraid off...rejection is an inevitability, if you practice pua and approach lots of women, you are going to be rejected at some point but if you accept that being rejected every once in a while is worth it, to end up with an endless supply of women keeping you up all night and staining your bedsheets, then its a fear worth facing.

Being driven by the emotions created by your fear of rejection i.e practicing delusion, e.g doing the minimum amount of action to gain some of what your fear is depriving you of and convincing yourself this is enough. This does nothing to conquer your fear...it simply re-enforces it.

Why do Other People Seem to Brush Rejection off Easily?
A confident person realizes that rejection is simply a part of the risk of living and that, in order to grow spiritually, we all have to take the occasional risk and step outside of our comfort zone. They don’t take rejection personally and often view it as a flaw on the other person’s behalf as opposed to feeling bad about themselves. In other words, they think it’s the other person’s loss.

Remember…If we continually hold back from interacting with people because of our fear of rejection, we simultaneously miss out on the potential happiness, warmth, fun and excitement that other people can bring to us. A useful way of putting fear of rejection behind us and replacing it with positive thoughts is to tell yourself that if you never put yourself in a position where someone can say ‘no’, then you’re also denying yourself the opportunity of being in a situation where someone can say ‘yes’.
http://www.lifecoachexpert.co.uk/Overco ... ction.html

For someone with a fear of spiders the point when they can say they have conquered their fear is when they can be near a spider, hold a spider and be ok with it, something their previous fear wouldn't have let them do.

For someone with a fear of heights the point when they can say they have conquered their fear is when they can be at a great height and be ok with it, something their previous fear wouldn't have let them do.

For someone with AA (a fear of rejection) the point when they can say they have conquered their fear is when, they no longer get anxiety(AA) before approaching a girl, when they have conquered their fear of rejection is when...they can be rejected and be ok with it, something their previous fear wouldn't have let them do.

‘A useful way of putting fear of rejection behind us and replacing it with positive thoughts is to tell yourself that if you never put yourself in a position where someone can say ‘no’, then you’re also denying yourself the opportunity of being in a situation where someone can say ‘yes’.

Its a big statement to say AA is just a fear of rejection. AA, i think, can be to do with many things. Just the fact its something new can scare people, you have no idea what your doing.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

this should be in Social Shyness & Anxiety section.

Yes it should! Cheers

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