Ok people here is a place that we can start compiling retorts.
I know it is hard to be witty online without it sounding like your an asshole.
So here is the place to post lines that come off as cocky funny through typed messages...

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When all else fails... try something new.

Hi there,
I am kinda new so I'm not sure if this fits the bill, but this comes from an instant message conversation I had with a girl (whose screen name I will forget, so I will just call her GIRL).

ME: brb

(few minutes later)

ME: back...hope you didn't miss me too much
GIRL: you didnt give me enough time to miss you
ME: any time I am away from this comp is enough time to miss me

Like I said, not the most impressive thing in the world, but it was a very subtle way of being cocky funny.

eager-

me likes - me likes alot

simple, subtle, cocky

King,

thanks...I need to do a lot more work to be a legendary PUA, but I have no one around to help with criticism. Thanks for confirming I did a good job though.

Try this in messenger.

Me: So I'm going to come pick you up and we will go out.
Girl: I'm not sure I can
Me: Sure you can, if you had something better to do then you wouldn't be online.
Girl: But I am about to BLA BLA BLA
ME: Then stop hitting on me

of course this is just a rough draft.
I try to get the girl to respond positive or negative at talk about sex. THEN I throw it in her face saying stuff like "your a perv!" "stop trying to seduce me" "I'm NOT that EASY!!!" They love the last one.

I like those. The only thing I don't like is that sarcasm never comes across as intended over the internet therefore creating a bit of a sticky situation sometimes. Stray away from it as much as possible and you'll be alright.

Best bet online is going the cocky funny route, it gets them every time.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

I always make arrows example

SwiftOne:<------ sarcastically says... if you had anything better to do you wouldn't be online...

SwiftOne:<------ sarcastically.... do you have an off button?

and they get the point...

I had a girl ask my age sex location... so I told her... and the next thing that she typed was...

Girl:so what's your name?
Me: my name is Swiftone but you can call me any time 555-555-5555

and 1 minute later she calls me up and we start talking on a much better level... feel free to use it!!

Nice one Swift

thanks... I know it could be a bit AFC to give her your number but its a good way to get her to call and talk without the loss of translation...

I would go as far as saying you giving your number can almost be a DHV if done right, like here you go, call me up, if not, oh well, I'm not worried about getting your number... plus its just a lot easier to give your number than to work for hers, you giving yours and her calling right away is a definate IOI.

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any Man can sweep any Woman off her feet, you just have to have the right broom...

he has a point... i'd like to add by saying that when you give her yours first it makes it a little more comfortable for her to give you hers.

I have been using an email/msn close that has been working well, works best when you know the girl is using myspace etc at work you guys will have to tell me what you think!?


So do they have msn there at mcdonalds?

Short and sweet generally get sent it straight out!

swerve!

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Doing my best!

a better way to put it is, u put the don't miss me part at the beginning like this:

Me: BRB, don't miss me too much whilst i'm gone-.-
HB: bla bla bla

A few minutes later
Me: I'm back, u did not miss me did u? if u did miss me minus 10points coz u did not obey my instruction earlier. lol naughty girl spank* spank**

ere u're sayin to HB not to miss u. guess what she gonna do exactly the opposite which is miss u.

then when u'r back u playfully ask did she miss u. but before she cud answer u'd playfully go into the minus points game n then do some online spanking:)

So I'm talking to this girl on MSN. Had some IOIs at a party the other nite.

Girl sends me a link to some lame band on youtube
I say its okay but I'm gonna need to sort her out with some real music [I think that's a mistake but n e way]
She blathers for a while about she's ODing on music etc.
Then she goes on about being tired from partying all the weekend
Then I say "You need to get your beauty sleep and that shes got her big ears to worry about as it is (referring to an earlier neg about some band called "pinback" and me jokingly asking if she was having a medical procedure on her ears).

After that I need more to get the converstion working in my favour....
Any advice much appreciated....

ps She is round at our student place all the time which surely cahnges matter insofar as its giving me more opurtunity.

This forum is golden by the way.