MILF GF is overly jealous



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:53 pm 
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Im back with my LTR issues(lol).

Brief background on my situation:I have a MILF gf of about 2 years and change.

The LTR's been hectic for the most part.

More downs than ups.

We'd broken up about a month ago[she broke up with me].

She begged to ge back together after a week or so.

The issue now is,she's been feeling really insecure & jealous that I now live next door to 3 hot women.

She goes as far as accusing me of screwing around with those chiccs who'd just moved next door to me last week.

So basically,she wants me to move;find a new apartment or move in with my grand mother(lmao).

She doesn say it,however implies it.

She doesnt trust me living next door to HB's.

I admitted helping the girls paint the apartment;she wasnt cool with that.

Remind yall,she's always had the upper-hand in this LTR for the most part.I've always been the one bitching.

So Im kind of basking in her turmoil right now.

I mean,is this typical women,or is my gf just nuts?

I told her that she's real insecure of younger girls and she needs to put that shit in checc.

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis;she's 41 year old,so that may explain why she's insecure about me(29 years old)being around other younger women.

But damn,this' been driving me friggin' nuts over the past week.

Im unsure of how to handle this:be cool(alpha),assure her that it's ok(I do),argue the shit out of her(done it also today),slap the sense into her(just kidding-but it's warranted)...

I freezed her out for 2 days,but when I did call,she accused me of cheating with the HB's nex door during the freeze-out period.

My Gf:"Go continue fuccing those ugly whores you live next to".

"I know you've been chatting up with them"!

It goes on and on.

I suck at relationship mangement,as I've always stated.So Im lost.

Moving out just to please her isnt an option.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:41 pm 
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You're still with the same chick?
Why do you keep bringing her back into your life, when she treats you like shit?
Honestly what the hell bro, you can do better.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:01 am 
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More downs than ups? Where do you think this relationship is going to go?


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:20 am 
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Fuck your milf (figuratively) and fuck your neighbors (literally). You hardly seem happy with your LTR, and it's fucking with your head. Your girl is insecure and that is unlikely to change. I wouldn't want that stress in my life. No matter how you accommodate her, she'll find new things to bitch about, and you'll become a bigger wimp with every step...


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:42 am 
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@BigDog225-Lol yep,still in the LTR.

When we'd so-called broken up,I frozed her out for a week or so.Felt sorry for her since she pleaded.Too her bac,now going through more BS.

@TomatoRAWR-I hear you bro'.Relationship mangement is my pet peeve & down fall.

I've been working on managing it for a while now;no real success.

@Keksman-Lol,nice metaphor;I would'nt mine fucking the neighbors(literally-lol).

That's why I say,me moving out just to please the gf would not solve anything.

She'd only find something else to bitch about.

Thanks for the input guys.

I'll try get it together.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:47 am 
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I spent a year dating an older woman. I'm 30-something, she is 40-something, she's got ten years on me. Very attractive woman. But I know what you are going through and YES they all have a mid-life crisis about that age. There is something about that age of 40-45 where they get really really funny and all fucked up in the head and it doesn't end up anywhere good, lol ... menopause! Ahhhhhhh!!!

Girls (women) that age have a lot of opposing forced tugging at them emotionally. The big two are:

1. She is feeling old and really wants to feel young and not be aging. Think about how you are going to feel in ten years. Chances are that you will be starting to sweat it too, y'know? With women, it's worse. They feel even more pressure not to age. It's gotta be tough, but once you hit 40, there ain't no denying that you OFFICIALLY are not a spring chicken anymore. Women traditionally have a very hard time with this.

2. On the other hand, part of them does realize that they are aging and because of that, they likely don't have much time left (if any, depending on their own insecurities, etc) to "game" handfuls of guys. She may be starting to feel "the pressure" to find "the one". Which this can be a good thing, if you are looking for a serious LTR because for the first time in their lives, some of them want that now too. Love/commitment over game/strange dick. Etc.

I feel for you in the whole situation. You don't spend that amount of time with someone and not develop strong feelings for them. All bullshit aside, do you love this chick?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:05 pm 
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@Mack 2.0-This' the best post I ever read concerning my LTR.

It's spot on what I feel is the problem;mid-life crisis and menopause.

She is so irrational!

I had to ask her yesterday during 1 of our arguments if she was on her period(lol).

Said no.

So Im like,"Where the hell is all your antics coming from!!?

If she was in her teens,20's or 30's,I'd assume off the back that she was cheating.

But I researched the whole mid-life crisis thing that women go through at 40,so Im kind of seeing things differently.

I hate the thought of aging;and I just turned 29.,and I think that's old.

I can see myself freaking out at 40.

As you said Mack 2.0,I get the vibe that she isnt sure of her beauty anymore,so she's overly jealous of the thought of younger women.

On the real,Im not the mushy type,nor the type to get all sentimental,but I would say that I love her.

It felt difficult even writing that(lol)since I rarely say it in general.

But I think it's beyond love;Im a MILF lover.And I happened to find a MILF(my ideal),so that's what it is.

Not many older women would date guy 10 years younger than herself.

So Im still kinda shocced that we'd even dated.

Anyway,great insight Mack 2.0.Genius insights.

But it goes back to my original question,how should a guy act in this case?

The MILF being irrational,cranky 24/7,irritable,bitchy...

How should the guy take that; knowing the prime cause[pre-menopause]?

Obviously,he can just dump her.

Besides that(if he stays),should he be dismissive & aloof about her behavior?

Should I argue the hell out of her["why are you bitching 24/7 over nothing]"?

Should I just go with the flow & become diplomatic?

I fount outhat rguing doesnt work(lol).

I love an argument to be honest;but this chicc doesnt friggin' back down!!

So arguing wont cut it.

The best quote on this site I ever stumbled upon was this,"An LTR isnt game(pick-up)".

So true!

No amount of game and pick-up insights I've learnt over th years has helped me in my LTR of 2 years and change.

LTR is really a different ball game,and I suck at it and Im losing this game(lol).

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:19 pm 
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OK, so you do have strong feelings for her. So, ideally you would like this to work.

Keep a couple of things in mind.

Aging/Menopause is not the same as Crazy/Insane.

I did some reading on dealing with women around that age and it can be quite challenging. I know it may sound ridiculous, but I actually did some reading on how to deal with women in menopause or pre-menopause. It's not like I was trying to be her husband or anything, but if you are going to game women (or have a positive LTR) you need to understand what you are dealing with.

One thing to keep in mind though, midlife crisis or not, it isn't your job to allow yourself to be mistreated or to learn to accept things that you shouldn't have to accept.

Crazy behavior is still crazy.
Unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable.

Hopefully you get some other responses too. I just wanted to add my two cents because it is exactly what I was going through a while back.

The best advice I can give you is to do some reading on the internet about how to deal with women in a midlife crisis / menopause. Read five or ten or twenty good articles on how women behave entering this time in their lives and how you have to cope/support them if you want it to last. Then you need to determine if she is just having a rough time in life or if she is fucking nuts.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:55 pm 
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@Hobbit-I knew you were gonna virtually smack me for this one(lol).

I was anticipating your reply and I knew it was gonna be straight to the point.

After we'd split for a about a week,I felt great moving on.

But eventually felt sorry for her after she came begging and apologizing that she'd change.

The moment she'd realized that I was really moving on and manning up-she came running back.

So I had a soft spot for her and allowed her back into my life about a month ago.

It hasnt been bad since as before.

The main prob' now is her jealous and irrational crap.

Before it was her mistreating me,taking me for granted,etc.

Now,Im actually seeing some emotions from her.

She was always the aloof type,not expressive,kept her feelings to herself,etc.

Im actually getting an arouse out of her now;which at least says she gives a shit.

Before,I had to wonder where she was(mentally & emotionally).

Is she jealous,does she care if I fuck around...?

Now I know for sure;and I believe it's pre-menopause propelling this.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:22 pm 
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@Mack 2.0-I totally get you man.

I doubt she's crazy/insane,so I got that down pack already(lol).

Another challenge is figuring out when it is game(on her part)or reality.

Is she just messing around with my head or not?

Im still unsure about that.

But the age factor has made me leaned more to the aging thing.

If she was 21,I'd assume she was playing games.

Good to hear that someone else has been there done that.

The ultimate goal in any guy's life is to eventualy get a gf at the end of the day.

So I advocate working on LTR as 1st options,opposed to just dumping the gf at the drop of a dime.

Eventually,you have to work things out.

If I dump her,get another gf,problems arises(undoubtedly-we're humans),then dump her.

Get another gf,problem arises,dump her also...

When will the cycle end!?

You will eventually have to work things out.

Yo cannot be age 60 dumping chiccs left and right.

So my solution is never to just move on until you've exhausted all possible options to a decent solution.

So it kills me when the first thing to come out the mouth of PUA's is,"Dump her".

Be alpha,leave,dont look back!

Bullshit!

I respect a guy who says,try work it out if it's salvagable.

I dont advocate for guys to just jump into an LTR with a girl they met last month and she's just 19.

But if you're already in the LTR over a year,and you see there's hope-work on it!

My situation is different than if the gf was 19 or 25,who hadnt experienced life as yet and Im essentially holding her back from having fun.

My gf is 41;she's been through the feeling-out phase.She wants something more stable now(marriage perhaps).

So guys wo say,"Just move on" are bullshitters.

Just move on to get a hotter 25 year old,who's still going through the clubbing phase who'd be 10 times more likely to cheat on me than a mid-aged women?

So let me work out my situation.

The last line wasnt meant for you Mack 2.0.

Was meant for anyone who believe the solution to any problem is to just cut,run and dont look back.

I think the biggest crap of shit the community has ever sold to us "To pretend like you dont caring".

All those gurus who're selling us that,they all have their gf's with whom they work things out.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:37 am 
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Dude you gotta be ready to take a Fucking L! Which is a lost! She is trying to control because that is what women do! They will always test but you should never give a girl anything unless you want!

Ask her why you should move? If she doesn't give you a logical reason then try to get one....and if she still gives you shit leave her or just stop talking to her all together....Trust me...her losing you is worse than you losing her...You can always get a new girl....She knows other girls want to fuck you and is trying to control you and stop that from happening! She is a typical girl!

Typical girl example:

Girl: Babe, What are you doing tonight or are you doing anything tonight?

Right there they are trying to trap you into the next question they will ask because they are secretly manipulative and THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT! They are afraid of rejecting...A woman doesn't have to be charming to get guys...The only thing a woman has to do is look good and the guy brings everything out of the girl...Without you she is NOTHING!

Guy: Nothing(Usually the typical answer)

Girl: Well I want to do this...or I would like to go here...or We should this!

Since you already said you are free for the night...Telling her No will make her angry and YOU KNOW THAT! So you do what she wants because you don't want to fight...FUCK THAT....If she wants to do something...she should just enter the room and ask it instead of asking you multiple questions to TRAP you into an answer.

LOGIC will always beat out Emotions....Women are Emotional...Men are Logical and we will always win! Women only win conversations because men let them....We are better than them...Just remember all that and you will be fine


Now my question for you! What makes the MILF so special? Because sounds to me she is sucking away your happiness...You realize if you are not happy she won't be happy....Its just how it goes...Whatever she does you can always find another chick to do the same thing if not more and make you happier..

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 2:22 pm 
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@Whoopie-You made a lot of good-classical points about emotional(women).

I tried using logics to kill the jelousy vibes.

So I told her,"Hey,I've been living her for over a year,decent rent,good location a you know.Would it be wise just pack up and leave because some random chiccs just moved next door"?

Of course she didnt see the logics in that(lol)?

About her being special:bro',there's nothing special about her which separates her from other chiccs I'd dated in the past.

Only difference is,this relationship lasted longer(2 years & change)while others in the past lasted 3 months or so.

But guys,there comes time in many guys' lives where you run across a chicc who just has you by the friggin' balls(lol).

A chicc who's just your match;meaning she knows so much about you(emotionally,etc.)that she knows which strings to pull.

If Im only with a girl 4 months,she doesnt know me(sufficiently)and vice versa,so it'd be easier to just not give a crap.

I've met my match.This chicc knows me so much that she can use a bit of mental Karate on my ass.

Bit manipulative as you say Woopie.

Every once in a while,a PUA or even an AFC meets a girl who seems to be more apt at social dynamics than he is.

Remember,Im dealing with a 41 year old;not a dumb 18 year old.

She's seasoned at social dynamics,knowing men,etc.

So it's not a case of she being so special.

The player gets played once in a while.

And that chicc who has your number,she will undoubtedly build intrigue and make the guy wonder.

Im used to dating girls who didnt give a shit whom I lived next to.

Girls that werent jealous(obvious).

But this MILF is an anomaly to me!

She exhibits behavior I've never seen from other girls in my life.

So that rarity and anomaly caught me off guard and drew me in deeper.

Same for women as far as what we teach in PU:be different than 99% of other men,and the girl will undoubtedly be intrigued and hooked on the guy's abnormal approach.

Anyway,thanks for the insight Woopie.

Just hope that guys realize that there will come a time in pick-up that you meet a girl who's more alpha that you,a better player than you,etc.

I've met my match,and that's me in effect accepting an L as you said Woopie.

And now,there's 2 options left for me:run for the friggin hills because she' too much to hndle and too dominant.

Or try turning the tide here and out alpha the chicc and put things back in order.

Im not pussy so it isnt easy for me to just cut and run.

Im a fighter(mentally)& strategist by nature,so my inclination's to always stay in there and battle it out until we both come to a resonable compromise.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:19 pm 
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DUDE the only reason she is dominate because you allow her to be!

Alright I am gonna put it in perfect terms of how a relationship should work...You are a fucking King...All men are Kings and have Kingdoms(House/apartment)...You own your kingdom and you DO NOT SHARE IT!

What is the highest level a woman can become in life...A fucking Queen...She is only a Queen because you let her be because you are a King because you are BETTER than them! Men are suppose to lead and women want to submit and follow...They are gonna test you because no lady wants a weak King. You need to let her know that now!

Since you a King, any girl you want can be a Queen....No Queen marries a guy and he becomes a King...he is her bitch...Women should never be in charge of a relationship...They don't know what they want so how can they keep you happy...Only you know what you want and can keep yourself happy....Keep yourself happy and your girl will be happy....You gotta live with her emotions but try to put her in check with logic...DO NOT GIVE UP! You always take the fucking W...The only L you will allow is the lost of losing her....Also if you really want to be manipulative like them....You can let them win, but you let them know why you LET them win with logic

The testing never ends...Just keep the pants on and run the relationship...when you know what you want she will follow to your lead...Just be real and honest about everything...If she is talking to you about something that has NOTHING to do with you let her know what she is doing...Girls just speak on emotions on what pops into their heads...they don't think and filter what they have to say mainly because no guy is suppose to tell them to shut up and stop being so emotional...Women don't know how to be likeable...They only want to be loveable.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:46 pm 
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The testing never ends...Just keep the pants on and run the relationship...when you know what you want she will follow to your lead...Just be real and honest about everything...If she is talking to you about something that has NOTHING to do with you let her know what she is doing...Girls just speak on emotions on what pops into their heads...they don't think and filter what they have to say mainly because no guy is suppose to tell them to shut up and stop being so emotional...Women don't know how to be likeable...They only want to be loveable.
Gee Whoopie, you have soooo much respect for women don't you. What's with the "men were born to lead, women were born to follow" shit? Leadership is a hard job and really tiring and as humans we tend to have our weak moments, men and women. So wouldn't it be smarter to trust women enough to let them take the lead so the guys could have a break once in awhile? I know many women in my life who are strong, know what they want, are perfectly logical and are great leaders. It would behoove you to take notice of great leaders based on their merit instead of their gender.

To Kloc: "Go continue fuccing those ugly whores you live next to" Do you really allow her to talk like that to you? This screams of insecurity to me. It's good that you're trying to find out why she is acting this way. Maybe try telling her that you care about her but you find her behaviour unappealing and ask her why that is. Instead of wracking your nerves trying to figure out what's wrong, talking can help clear up your questions.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:14 pm 
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@Cygnus-Lol cant argue with you there bro'.

Nothing wrong with letting our guards down at times.

Anyway,I've already resolved this issue.

But appreciate the post anyway.

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