[b]But that's the problem man... She isn't going to initiate contact because i know her. I think that freezing her out may result in her just wanting to move forward, so then i'm out. I am doing it right now, but honestly I'm a bit scared of what will happen.[/b]

And it doesn't matter what other things i do, i just keep thinking about her. Maybe because she was my first (reciprocated) love, but it's still killing me.

As for next women... I do get IOI's from other girls, but maybe because they're so young, 16-18, they are VERY shy. I, myself, am shy too so that's why i can't really meet other women.

Now my life is just working and working out...
And I guess that isn't an attractive lifestyle...
But I do got some money

Maybe I just like the challenge of her not wanting me. Am I disturbed if I do?

Bro, it seems like you're in the same predicament I am. It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me and after 3 months of trying to win her back I froze her out completely - not 1 word to her. Then the other day I got in contact and said 'think it's time we talked dont you?' then we started texting/flirting and are gonna meet tomorrow. But the thing is I'm so casual about it - because I've been busy learning PUA and using it, watching it work has given me a massive confidence boost and I'm getting with girls I thought I'd only ever dream of. And if tomorrow goes great (with my new 'skills') then brilliant - if not I'll go out and PU more hot women!

Go down this route pal. If she isn't responding to your texts then freeze her out. By 'chasing her' and texting her you will show too much interest and she'll love that! Don't worry about losing her because you will more than likely push her away if you continue as you are (I made the same mistake)

Hope this helps bro. Trust me it works.

Thanks man, I'm just gonna try it.

But you initiated contact with her again right? Isn't that a bad thing?
On the other hand, if you don't contact her, she will just move on.
(Funny how women can get men so easy btw.)

And I've also read that you shouldn't say stuff like: 'Blabla, right?' or 'Blabla, don't you? It says that you then come off needy or looking for approval.
But does that mean that you must try to avoid those words at any time?

LOL oke re-opened:

Like i was advised i sort of freezed her out.
Then suddenly, she started talking to me on MSN, pretty useless messaging.
I asked her if it isn't boring, studying all day... Then she said no, i work, go to school, have appointments, and going on a vacation in a couple of weeks. IS THAT QUALIFYING TO ME?

And what am i supposed to say, because i don't want to brag about my life, although it probably is a bit boring: working, working out, going out. haha and got money.

well, blabla,
Then i said, well i've got to go, but are you still busy?
She said yes... but I don't know, it's like she want to seem busy and maybe she is, but everyone has got a little bit of spare time right...?

So please, tell me, because this is my one-itis and i think i'm finally in controllll!
Thank you

OH, and what do I do next... should I initiate contact through texting or MSN or should i just wait until she initiates again? Because I do not think she's gonna initiate again because I was acting a bit too cool on MSN, not really fun, more cool, if you know what im saying haha...

I was raised in a Catholic family, so I can tell you I had a similar mindset with my first girlfriend. She was my first, so I kept going back to her yada yada yada.

Fuck someone else and you'll find not only can it be so much better but that you'll also get over your one-itis. A lot of people go through the stage of 'she/he is my first, we have to be together forever, he/she is the one'. Been there, done that.

However, what I found was that my second relationship was a lot more fulfilling because I did not view sex in that way. Just because we did it didn't mean we HAD to stay together.

So, go out, get laid or start relationships with other girls if that's what you want and you'll realise that your ex was not all that.

FOR EFF'S SAKE, FREEZE HER OUT ALREADY!!!

I know because she is your oneitus it is VERY hard and you just cant stop thinking of her, your chest feels like its going to explode. But right now, by txting her all the time your not showing her that you have changed. And isn't that what you wanted.

Ignore her for 2-3 days minimum and see how that goes. It will be hard but its something you have to do.

SPAM she is only contacting you for a chat, she doesnt see you as a possible sexual partner. You have to shake this perception. Don't be so available to talk. Go sarge other women.

I know this will be very hard. But if you dont do it you won't have a chance of getting her back.

If you only take 1 piece of our advice. For the love of God, atleast freeze her out. And start with atleast a 3 day freeze. She wont come back to you if she doesn't miss you

Im also Catholic, and i went through the same thing. The second was MUCH better than the first! n it only just keeps going up from there.

take the advise that every1 is giving u, get rid of that one-ittis. Life is full of adventures, you've started one and now its time to end it. Let us know about your next adventure! =)

_________________
21 year old AFC
Still tryna get rid of my AA =(

Hmm, yeah. Maybe I do got to get another girl. But it's hard around here in my city, everyone of the same age knows eachother, so when I get blown out people will know for sure and maybe my ex will even know about it :O...

I am thinking about going to another city just to try it out. But I feel so alone, on my own driving to a big city only to... say hi or try some retarded approach-openers to strangers that walk by and probably got something to do rather than talk to me.

Okay. okay, i'm exaggerating, i'm not that ugly. But I do think alike when it comes to talking to strangers. I hate it.


Back to subject, was she or wasn't she qualifying to me? Telling her life is great is something people say to make them look better, so they're qualifying. On the other hand, people almost always want to qualify to exes, right?

Plus, she's very busy, I know that. So when I freeze her out, I think she isn't gonna initiate contact because of her busy life. I'm guessing she's meeting tons of people while I just sit here working and working out... Feels so pathetic.

You're going through what all beginners go through. Almost ALL of us experience feeling "weird" about approaching, because you've never done it before. It will pass and will feel natural after alot of practice.

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Most things worth doing are challenging. Depends if you want it enough or not.. If not, give it up for a while and then start again when you feel ready.

Stop worrying about your ex.. she's not worrying about you, that's why she won't make contact after a freeze-out, she's got more options.

Sorry to be harsh, but this one's a dead duck.. give it up and start sarging.. end of.

Zan

_________________
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step"

- Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

Could it be that this shit is a chemical addiction?

Funny story. I was once SUPER obsessed with a woman back in about 2000. I decided to go on zoloft because I was also depressed. When I took the Zoloft I went through about 8 hours of EXTREME OBSESSION.

Then it was gone.

?????????

I have no idea at all lol. I think it's a phsychological issue, so something like: get over it.

But let's get back to basics:
Freezed her out for a week, and made contact today through MSN again. Nothing big, just blabla and she left.

I feel like she is not coming back, while I know that attraction isn't a choice.
So what do I keep hearing: Leave her alone, freeze her out blabla but it isn't working lol.
Maybe I should try to meet up with her, but if it fails, i want to die. So it is a difficult choice...

Hey Gwizz. I'm a newbie, this is the first post I've commented on. I was just wondering how things are going? I joined the forum because I'm having the same problem as you so replies to your thread are helping me.

But feelings in the chest are associated with drug withdrawal, thus my question as to whether it might be something actually chemical.

I've always found that hard workouts make that feeling go away.

GWhizz..

Sounds like you're answering your own questions...

Sometimes these situations just aren't recoverable... You're wasting your time. Just think of all the other women you could have been having fun with and learning from while wasting your emotional energy on someone who clearly is not interested in you any more.

Zan

_________________
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step"

- Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

[quote="samantha23"]Hey Gwizz. I'm a newbie, this is the first post I've commented on. I was just wondering how things are going? I joined the forum because I'm having the same problem as you so replies to your thread are helping me.[/quote]

Well, samantha, things aren't going well lol. I must say that it's VERY hard to decide what next step i have to take with her...
I could ask her out or to just relax with me, but it may seem clingy to her.
I could freeze her out some more, while she's thinking about moving on with her life.

Although I think that this girl still wants me, because she broke up with me because we fought ALOT. But I've changed and become much more understanding. So I know that if we came together it would turn out alright.
But she doesn't know it, and I don't want it to turn into a relationship where she has control like the last time. OMG psychology is hard..

And ZannyUK, you are totally right. I should be having more fun with other women.
Yesterday I've went to a psychology university day. I arrived and was with 16 women all day long. Lol. Think I have to open a new thread. Ty anyw