I was a couple of years ago, don't really remember all of it, but it was the best part:

Her: This is sooo stressful, I have to look for other things to do. (it was something like this)
Me: Got tired of being a prostitute?

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Newbie, but with the will to learn.

lol this thread is full of fun stuff

GF: i feel wired ...
me : how so
GF: don't you ever have the feeling of fucking someone just to get relaxed.
me : yeah i thought of fucking your friend
lol

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I was really drunk the night before halloween so I dont exactly remember what I said besides what my friend likes to say I did that night. Supposably it went something like this:

after horribly flirting with this girl for awhile without paying attention to the fact that she wasnt into me
Me: Hey! How much of a man do you think I am?
Her: huh?
Me: (slightly whispering and leaning into her) your supposed to say a lot

I then supposably said to her later that she was nothing Luckily the next night on halloween I stayed more sober and was able to kiss two girls using the 5 question game and almost f-closed the one girl but she was putting up too much LMR since her bf broke up with her that day via text :p

Sadly my stupid drunken escapades from the night before halloween got me into trouble a couple weeks later with a girl who was supposably there that night. I noticed that this one girl was being very cold to me which I found weird since I never remember meeting her but knew she was friends with the girl who I was rude to before.

Me: Hey, were you at this person's house the night before halloween when I was being a dumbass?
Her: You mean when you hit on every girl and called my friend nothing who got really upset?
Me: Shit, sorry for that, I was being an idiot. I didnt mean to hit on you.
Her: You didnt hit on me...

Got a number from an chick who turned 30 recently. Being in my early 20s i let it get to me mentally and on the call back I asked her

So you dont believe in marriage huh. Are you gonna be a cat lady when you grow up?


Not so funny at all. Got dialtone shortly thereafter.

lol well i have had so many

PF:if you where the last person on earth i would fuck you.

i ment it as in the oposit of i wouldnt if u where the last person on earth hahahah

its like 3 am. via text

HB: so what are you doing up this late.
me: waiiting for everyone to fall asleep,
hb: um ok why?
me: sarcasticly)well i wanted to have a wank but i thought it would be more fun to ring you




and many more like whats already been posted

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Never regret anything, because at one time, it was all you wanted.

Sent to a girl I'm working with instead of a friend of mine I'm working with too (wrong corporate AIM window) "Tatoos just above the ass are kind of slutty aren't they ?". I was talking about her...

It's been kind of weird for a few days at work, especially as she's sitting just in front of me...

"Your a bitch, dont ever talk to me again".

I still like the girl...

I was at the college book store and a girl who I had attracted the previous year approached me while I was reading a book about survival in the wild (I had been out of practice for nearly a year).
She was wearing a deep v shirt that prominently displayed boob crack. She says something like " hey i didn't expect to see you here". For some reason I'm tongue tied, smiling like an idiot, and I try to tell her what I'm up to.
I say "hey hows it going" or some bs i cant remember, then i stumble some words about the book i was reading "with this plant you can survive if you ...." I go blank.
I try to recover with "oh is that your kid!?" (she looks only early 20's). I say nothing further and stare with a nervous smile. Then she blurts "OK nice seeing you again" (in a very awkward- i-need-to-get-the-hell-away, yet smiling as awkward-as-me- way).

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looking at just a single leaf, you'll never discover the whole tree