Hey Guys
I haven’t been on here for a while now had allot of work to do!
Well as some of you know I’ve posted quite abit on the relationship section. Still everything is going great but one thing really gets to me at the moment not sure why but it does maybe you can help me out. She enjoys going out drinking a little too much sometimes, She asks me to come all the time even offer to pay for me but i can’t all the time i have to much work. So i ask her to stay in with me sometimes just one night a week say on the Friday but she wants to go out drinking with her me and her friends. She’s young i understand we both are but I’m soo busy and honestly i can’t be arsed going out all the time.

So when i asked her if she would spend Friday with me she said she would. Then later the week got she started saying she wanted to go out etc... At this point she knew it was pissing me off because i’m the type of person that hates plans been changed. Anyway she went out Friday and we argued about it and for some reason i felt like i lost control for the first time in our relationship i didn’t feel good i don’t want to stop her going out i never do it’s just this once i asked her and she didn’t it got to me allot actually.

What should i do I’ve told her but it always ends up in argument we never argue either so its strange her chosing her mates before me and i will never expect her to chose but she can have both like i do i have time for her and my mates. SO what I’m trying to say how can i not let it bother me i don’t want to be immature and do it to her i just don’t want to show that is cares and put me in control again.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

ha! i broke up with my girlfriend of twelve years (mother of my child) over that exact same scenario!

i put my foot down for once in my life. she was turning into a barfly. staying out all night, going drinking every fucking weekend, always on the phone with her friends, even during dinner with me.

she said she was going out. and i said "no, you are not." (calmly) she said "you can't stop me." and i said "you are not going out. you are staying with me tonight." and she said "nope." and i said "if you walk out that door, we are finished" and she said "yeah right" (and walked out the door). when she got back saturday morning every belonging in the house that she owned was on the front lawn, all of our joint accounts were changed, my phone numbers were changed, and i served her with custody papers for my daughter (whom i have custody of to this day)

bitch gave me a big shit test. i passed it with flying colors. her life sucks now. and i'm happy as can be. fuck that bitch.

Lol cool story bro, shit test of a lifetime hahah

Damn bet that was the biggest shock of her life!
Good on you man for putting your foot down. But mine isn't as bad as your at this point and i don't want to split up with her as i said we are both young but... I don't want us to end over it and when i mentioned it she got pissed off at me saying that i hate her going out etc.. when that was the first time i mentioned her staying in for one night when she could of gone out Saturday anyway. Another thing i forgot to mention was the friday this happend she said I'll see you Saturday didn't even ask if i had plans so assuming i would see her and I've noticed she's decding when she wants to see me not when we both want to see eachother i need to get her of this pedestal a little and put my foot down.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

i suggest that you reward/punish.

don't waste your time "telling her about your feelings" (or your concerns, or your issues, or what pisses you off, etc - see the point?)

show her.

when she does that, freeze her out, act like nothing happened, and fucking disappear. let her come to you. if she doesn't, she's a bitch, she can fuck off! if she does come back, she will realize you mean business!

don't give her any of your attention or time if she is doing things that make you unhappy.

i'm here to tell you, dude, (as a man who's been there, trust me) - what she did was fucking lower than low.

she goes out every weekend, and the one time you guys have special plans, she blows you off to go out, yet again!, with her friends.

fuck that. dude, that is some serious SERIOUS disrespect and quite frankly ... emotional terrorism. you can NOT stand for that. if you do, you will keep the girl, and she will keep your balls, and ...

six days, or six weeks, or six months/years from now, you will be balled up in a corner somewhere crying about how she never treated you right and broke your heart.

you've got to put a stop to that shit right now. do not reward her when she dogged you out like that.

rewards: your time, your attention - she gets none of it if she behaves badly. adopt this mindframe. i'd punt the bitch to the curb for what she did anyway and find somebody who values you.

i mean she BASICALLY said: drinking is more important than you, my friends are more important with you, spending time with you is not as cool as those two things (drinking and friends), and the real kicker: i don't care what you think or how it makes you feel, i am going out.

you reeeeeaaaallllly want some more of that?

Hmm. Tough problem and very specific. I don't know how to deal with the drinking exactly. I will just say that when a girl is doing something you don't like, it usually is not helpful to yell, get worked up and lose control. What you need to do is simply tell her what rule or line she crossed and why you don't like it. Tell her calmly that this is how she must act if she wants to be with you. If she doesn't respect that then she does not get to have you. She has to respect you for speaking your mind. Hopefully it will also scare her when you bring up the possibility of you not putting up with it and leaving. Good luck.

AGREE with Mack 2.0

Well i took your advice and went listen:

" I want to keep seeing you but.... if you carry on with this shit going out getting drunk all the time and just taking the piss I'm leaving you, thats the life you lead when your single if you want that then lets end it here then atleast we've ended on good terms and not screaming at each other."

She agreed and noticed that she was in the wrong and apologized and we spent the weekend together we went out saturday i decided to go out with her she did stay with me all weekend it was fun. But one thing you have to watch out for here is fucking it up by shouting or just not talking about it i think it's healthy for a relationship to have trust and let eachother go out which we do but... the reason i was like this because i felt little and not in control so if you feel like that just tell her don't have an argument about it thanks for the replys guys.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.