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 Post subject: alpha
PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:55 pm 
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ok ive been trying to work out how to be alpha and alot of it is contradictory. it seems to me there are two types of alpha instead of one type.

1) agressive. these are the big guys that automaticaly dominate a room. they act unimpressed, never smile and make people feel 2 inches tall. and beat the crap out of anyone that tried to take dominance away
2) charismatic. they smile alot, are the leader because everyone wants to be with them, and therefore follow them.

i was jsut wondering if anyone else agrees. i cant find a difinitive answer of what is alpha. if someone can give me one that would be great


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:50 pm 
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Hey Bowlie,

my interpertation of it is there are many different personality types and people are going to get away with what they can.

The aggressive people are usually less intelligent so they make up for it in brute strenghts and aggressiveness. - 'jocks' You don't see these types of peoples at like a ballroom dance. more at a dive bar or a house party.

While charismatic people can come up quickly with responses if their power is jeoperdized. This type is usually at the higher class events.

Its up to you how you want to act.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:00 am 
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To me Alpha is per environment. A nerd may be alpha amongst his friends. A alpha may be submissive amongst nerds. A physician maybe alpha amongst doctors but submissive amongst construction workers.

Alpha means you are confident in the environment at hand. Kasabi has the best ideal I've come across when it comes to alpha.

group-dynamics-alpha-man-7-dwarfs-vt832 ... ght=dwarfs

Please read the thread.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 5:48 pm 
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that makes total sense. i think many people like to think they are alpha, but few are. i see his point that your social status is given to you by the group. thats generally what ive seen to be true. along with the changing of roles.

ive learnt to take everything i read here with a pintch of salt. i presumed that the thing to do was get my life on track and girls would fall into my life. so far its been working real well tbh.

i think the problem is fake alpha vs real alpha?? im guessing here guys so please help, but surely the guy that is top of his social group, fun and interesting, has a decent job and alot of ambition will get laid more than the other members?? and more than that, he will have a better life in general??

the problem is most people think they are acting like the alphamales but arent.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:39 pm 
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Quote:
that makes total sense. i think many people like to think they are alpha, but few are. i see his point that your social status is given to you by the group. thats generally what ive seen to be true. along with the changing of roles.

ive learnt to take everything i read here with a pintch of salt. i presumed that the thing to do was get my life on track and girls would fall into my life. so far its been working real well tbh.

i think the problem is fake alpha vs real alpha?? im guessing here guys so please help, but surely the guy that is top of his social group, fun and interesting, has a decent job and alot of ambition will get laid more than the other members?? and more than that, he will have a better life in general??

the problem is most people think they are acting like the alphamales but arent.
Alpha to me is quite over rated, most people identify Alpha with this dominant male that takes over an environment physically(or his PHYSICAL presence). This while true of many primates and economically lower class (an environment where being strong is a big bonus, such as a dangerous area) is just not true in the social dynamics of any present day metropolitan. These days a alpha male with his testosterone is outdated, a good mate is a guy that can provide for a family, this has more to do with your social status in society such as a good job or being a great provider.

Well, there are guys you come across that don't have a job or a car and still get laid quite often, in fact far more often then a lot of gentlemen with a good job and a nice house. I have a friend that didn't have a car forever, yet he is the only true Natural I have ever met. I have met plenty of gentlemen good with girls but this guy is the only one who makes it truly easy. Most people wouldn't even at all consider him Alpha, I would say harmless would be closer to him then Alpha.

The truth about is you need to be a Confident Responsive male to get women, not an Alpha domineering man. Setting your life up to be in a situation where things fall into place is really just adding confidence to your repertoire, you are confident that you are a good mate. Knowing what to do, when to do it(responsive), understanding the process, and escalating accordingly are how you become successful with natural game.

Obviously it's important to appear as a more attractive mate and setting your life up properly strengthens your inner game, what most of us don't realize is how we feel about ourselves is advertised through our body language every where we go. So if you feel happy about your life, everywhere you go you will advertise you are a happy, strong mate, and obviously confident. Women see this and you appear more attractive, your sex appeal increases.

I believe Naturals, due to their past or whatever have an instinctual understanding of body language and the courtship process, they appear confident and as a great mate, at the same time they escalate more often then not at the correct speed, the are responsive to her signs of when to touch, when to back off, etc. Most of us lack confidence in our initial reads, we don't escalate at the proper speed because of bad reads or we don't realize they aren't ready to escalate.

Just some of my ideals.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:52 pm 
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that seems like your saying alpha is still important, just that peoples definition is changing. personally i agree that going the sociable rout is better. being high socially, good job, hard work, well dressed e.c.t.

at the same time i think its important to look dominating as well. for a start girls love the muscular look, secondly its a dangerous world out there. if you hit on a 10 and her bigass 200lbs amog BF comes up with tattoos and shit looking for a fight what you gunna do?? talk your way out ?? is there a danger that by looking physicaly dominating it could hurt me in any way being a social alpha??


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 10:23 pm 
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Well, I don't back down from fights but I rarely allow for things to get that far. I am very good at pacifying a situation. I don't just go hit on every girl either. Another thing is a 200 lb man isn't that big. I am 200 lbs, it may sound big to you but it isn't.

If a guy comes up to confront you about hitting on his girl friend it is very simple all you have to do is be very respectful. Tell him I apologize, I didn't know she was taken, say she is beautiful and congratulate him. You walk away, not hard to avoid a fight. If you want to stay on it and try and go for the girl knowing she is taken then I say you are putting yourself in a situation where you are going to fight for a random girl.

I rarely ever get physically dominated, I never give those guys the time of day. I suggest you do the same. It's not worth it, fighting for some random girl at the bar, club, party, where ever is just not worth it. Why do you think it would be worth it to fight a guy when you hit on his girlfriend?

Alpha isn't about size, it isn't about testosterone, it's about confidence in any and every situation. It's about natural leadership. If a big guy walks up to me and gets threatening towards me I smile. Make strong eye contact. I by no means submit, however, if I stepped onto his metaphorical territory, hit on his girlfriend, sat in his chair, etc., I'd prefer to be respectful. Let him know you unknowingly stepped on his toes. If however you do something wrong and get in my face, I will not back up, I won't swing but I do not back off, I stand my ground so to speak.

Then you gain everyone's respect because you didn't back up, at the same time you didn't look like a dominant asshole. You just look like a guy who is confident in himself and his space. Once again being a Confident Responsive Male is much better then being a physically dominant Alpha Male.

Girls appreciate muscles, but they also know in this day and age, muscles have little to do with status or the ability to provide. Status is the basis of sex appeal for women. A man with a good job looks more attractive, studies have been done and proved that a women will consider a man physically more attractive if he has a better job. A younger girl may be more attracted to physical appearance but she will not overlook a man because he isn't ripped. Great Looks are a great thing to have but quite over rated in the grand scheme of courtship, an average looking guy with great game will do far better then a great looking guy who is naive.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:25 pm 
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it was just an example. i know alot of violent people that go out looking for fights (i dont associate with them but i know of them). the first thing i learnt from my fight classes is that its always better to avoid one. even if you win your in serious shit and its not worth it. but it cant hurt to know you can handle yourself if a drunken idiot attacks you. and the GF situation was entirely hypothetical.

and i know 200lbs isnt big big, but its probably the limit of any athletic guy on the streets. there are bigger guys but they are usuraly fat too. but im straying from my point.


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