In my college theres a lot of people, then theres always that group with the highest social value, yes, i'm in it, but theres a problem. Theres always one person that hangs around with us sometimes, not often, and makes me look like a complete dick. He takes the piss out of me and always has something to say, no one else says anything but him. This seriously knocks my confidence and others notice this. One of my mates today said 'most of the time Luke is always social and lively, then he just has his days where he never talks', this is because of him.

Some of the things he does is call me 'chink', this is because of my eyes, it really pisses me off and i have nothing to say, and no, im not Chinese. The other day my school brought in noodles and he said 'did you bring in these noodles?' and everyone just laughed at me with him. I have nothing against Chinese people but it really is annoying. It's only him that ever does this, and sometimes he influences others to say it when he says it just to be funny like him.

Not many of us even like him, i tell everyone that hes a dick and that i don't like him, but i just dont have the core confidence to be my full self when im around him. He's more of a bully if anything and bully's people to look good and big in front of others. I'd stand up to him but i just never know what to say to him, and when i do say something he always has something to say back.

Let me tell you what I say that always, ALWAYS works lol.

Anytime some douche bag says anything negative about me and obviously tries
to make people laugh, I say

1. Hey dude, calm down everyone here already knows your cool.(smirk when you say it) I've used that countless times and it makes people laugh at him while he looks all stupid and embarrassed.

2. you can laugh it off with the douche bag and it'll become less funny because it's not really bothering you.

Anyway, you should learn how to roast too, being passive about it sure hasn't helped much so take some action and fire some back. After years of situations like this I've learned how to handle those guys.

goodluck

_________________
I'm walking on sunshine! ;D

This guy is disrespecting you because you're letting him. I'll tell you what: if I ever found myself taking shit from someone like him, I'd put an end to it right away.

The fact that he's singling you out and making fun of your physical features shows that he's opportunistic. He's the type of guy who constantly feels as though he needs to boost his social standing, and, since he's somewhat insecure about himself, he will only pick on those he knows won't give him any retaliation. It's pathetic, and easily dealt with.

Make it clear to this guy that you're not going to put up with his shit. Tell him that. Make him look like an asshole in front of everyone. This could lead to a physical altercation, but it probably won't: these types of guys pick on weaklings because they don't want to fight.

My two cents. Peace.

My default things to do are

Reply, "we get it dude, you're cool", smile, and give one short knowing look (and a wink that he can't see) to girls who are around. This can't be trumped because it's a bit unclear the impact of this on women to the vast majority of guys...girls know exactly what you're doing and he can't call you on it without losing all status he has left. This IS subtle in that it says quite a lot to women, because theyre' constantly analyzing with "what did he mean by that that, oh, I get it" multiple interpretation type stuff. The "we" turns it Him vs The (your) Group, "dude" means he's no one special, and "you're cool" + (the right) smile is sort of like you're amused at some child acting like a big boy. The wink makes it a secret conspiracy sorta thing from the girl-world perspective. It packs quite a punch. Even if he isn't aware of how hard you socked him, the girls WILL be. Any guy who's fluent and clever with subtle stuff girls get but guys rarely notice gets lots of attention from women.

OR

I reframe it that he has sexual attraction for me "ya, it's obvious to us that you're enchanted with my eyes, (if he's repeated it -->) you can't get them off of your mind" and immediately look at someone else and talk about something trivial. This works for ANY comment about any physical feature. He can't trump the GAY reframe (because you're cool with playing it) when you change subjects and if he does, he's doing a Very Dumb Thing by denying something which means he cares too much what you or others think.

Both of those two work WONDERS when done casually and you immediately start a new conversation. Once you've done this sort of thing for a while and it's natural, you'll find that you can do cool stuff like let a guy do that a few times and it'll puzzle him and the girls (in a good way!) that you're radiating more confidence as he does this....because you're confident you can casually take him down later at your own leisure without any serious effort.

I love this thread; I think I've been personally having issues as how to counteract people saying stupid shit to me. It’s alright not to have to say anything back, but it’s another thing to say anything back and suffer silent DLV. I think the reframing aspects are awesome ways to maintain your level of value and move on. This is for us guys who are a bit bad at making come backs. I don't even try to make come backs because I don't have enough skill to live in the moment, and it always becomes an issue of aggression. I admit whole-heartedly that I usually go to violence which makes me look like a bigger chump ha-ha. So I think for guys like my self reframing the issue and moving the fuck on, or turning it into a joke we can be compatible with, will help us laugh better in the day time, and sleep better at night. Great thread.

This seems to be one of the most difficult skills for a man to learn. I'm not afraid to learn it, I'm just not in the moment enough and quickly responding enough to really have this be of use to me :/. Any thoughts on roasting practice?

Why yes gaius there is. Honestly I used to be pretty slow at this until
I asked a quickwitted friend. He told me to think of all the stuff people could possibly say
And prepare a comeback for it. While I am suggesting you practice comebacks I am in no way saying to think about things that make you feel bad, just intelligent counters. Watch comedians and how they always talk about their dumb friend like Dane cook and apply it to your own life. Roast with and on your friends, its great practice but do it friendly fire of course.

And another thing is, the reason I say to learn how to roast is
That you'll eventually come across an idiot who doesn't understand
intelligent comebacks. It takes a couple of critical hit roasts shut them up.

Me for example:
I'm skinny...
Guy: hey man ur so skinny
Me:(I'll shrug, then smirk) hey I'm big where it counts
Or hey its enough to keep ur mom satisfied
Alot of others but you catch my drift
See ones a comeback and the other a roast

Learn this and you can make a woman laugh like nothing. Not calling myself a pua though so calm down people.

IF u need help with roasting pm me

Goodluck

_________________
I'm walking on sunshine! ;D

I'm definitely going to thoroughly study this shit. You I think often times in this community we doubt the power of canned shit, but the more I look at it, canned shit helps you a bit. Thanks for the advice, I certainly won't become reliant on it, but creating shit for scenarios is wicked awesome man, thanks. And I’ll try making a roast list before contacting you.

There's a guy in my school who looks VERY arab and I always make jokes to him like "Hey, Ackmed." (His name isn't ackmed). If I ask him to hang out with me after class and he's busy, I say "Wait a minute, you are too busy to hang out with me but have enough free time to go drive planes into our buildings?"

I mean it entirely jokingly, and he laughs with it. He plays it off cool. Sometimes he'll actually respond jokingly in-character ("FOR ALLAH") or just generally "When I decide that a school shooting is in order, you're first." but all-in-all it's just good fun.

When people do shit like that to me and I can't think of anything to say, I open a sentence by yelling the word "HILARIOUS" followed by "That's funny because [explanation of why their joke was a joke]" - this is typically a good disarmer that is so general and vague you don't actually need ANY comic or wit skills to pull it off.

You can also act incredibly serious in response.

"You brought these noodles in?" "Actually I'm pretty certain that faculty brought the noodles in due to it being (whatever celebration day)." - optionally, you can make an indicator that you understood it was a joke but it wasn't funny (Such as looking at a friend with an exhausted 'what an idiot' look) - make sure your response is so long that they can't pull off a one-liner in return without looking like a fool. In essence, your seriousness + the amount of time they have to listen to your explanation will make the joke sound like it was just a serious question, which is difficult to properly respond to. What's he gonna say? "No.. No I know about the faculty I was just making that joke because I usually call you a Chink." -- his entire joke is ruined in the fact that he had to explain that entire thing out.

EDIT- Just as I submitted this, a friend of mine responded to a text that I thought would be a good idea to include. He's a black friend of mine.

Him- I'm not coming in today bro. I'm vomitting and shit blah blah. Sorry man.
Me- UGH NIGGER
Him- I'm not a nigger, bro. I'm very knowledgeable about many things.

It was a good comeback and I laughed.

You can use a similar approach. He calls you chink -> "I'm not actually Chinese, bros. I am actually (WHATEVER YOU ARE - THIS IS BETTER IF IT'S COMPLEX)." - if your nationality/ethnicity isn't complex, make shit up, so it comes off like "I am actually half native american, quarter irish, one-eighth welsh, and one-third polish" - this is especially good because it doesn't even add up to 100%.

What's he gonna say? Again, is he going to explain his joke? "No.. No I mean, I know you aren't actually Chinese it's that your eyes look very almond-shaped.." - that isn't funny it just looks dumb.

If he tries something generic ("NICE COMEBACK") then follow it up with the classic line "If I wanted my come back, I would have wiped my dick on your (mom's/girl's/sister's/daughter's/whatever's) face."

In general, though, you might just want to try improving your wit for these types of situations. Try practicing by making witty joking insults to your friends, or whatever. One big thing I like is...

I'll turn to some third party (in regards to the person I'm talking about) and say something loudly like "Hey don't you love it when (explanation of what they're doing)"

Example:

Kid: Hey chink
You (looking at your friend nearby, loudly): "Hey remember that one time that I was desperately trying to impress everyone in the room?"

Kid: Hey you bring these noodles in?
You (to your friend, loudly): "Remember that time I made a hilarious joke?"

^ These kinds of comebacks are especially good, because you aren't even making them directly to the person insulting you - so they can't respond.

You can also do this to mock his jokes later. For example, some other day when the kid does something stupid or is in some stupid situation or whatever, you can obnoxiously blurt out "HEY, remember that time I brought in the noodles?" - intentionally and obnoxiously laugh at the end of this - you are, in essence, saying he made a bad joke, but not TO HIM, so he'd look like an idiot for replying.