This was the hardest shit test I have ever been in. This HB and I basically hammered each other for the ladder half of the night. A couple of my wings Oz and Xtra watched with a mixture of horror and gleeful disbelief. However, the whole thing just fizzled at the end.

The setup. Myself, Xtra, and Oz are standing on the patio of a club shooting the shit. I sit down in one of the big booths setups with two HBs locked into a conversation to my left. Oz comes over and sits to my left between me and the HBs. Xtra sits on my right. I tell Oz he should open them. Please excuse the gaps. Not sure why but my memory is a little fuzzy today.


GG: Open them
Oz: With what though?
GG: (Listing openers)
Oz: I really want to try your Turkey Baster & Tequila opener. But I forgot exactly how it went. Show me.
GG: Ok. (Open HB set in the booth with us using an opener I like to call Turkey Baster & Tequila.)
HB1: (immediately starts the shit test as soon as I finish delivering) Your gay. You like to stick things in your ass. (The story is about some guy we know that shoots Tequila in his ass with a Turkey Baster. Not me.)
HB2: (Gets up and rejoins their group of friends a few feet away.)
GG: (Dieing to validate myself that that was not the story at all and where the did she get that from) Ah, your no help at all. Are you always like this? You are such a little shit.
HB1: Bla bla bla, Your an Asshole. You must be a lawyer.
GG: No. I am an XYZ.
HB1: Your gay.
GG: Yes you caught me. I am a flaming homosexual.
HB1: Bla bla bal (Can't remember)

Oz and HB1 enter a conversation about where he is from and Xtra start talking about something random.

5 Minutes later
HB1: Bla bla bla (something rude out of the blue to me)
GG: (Smug dirty looks)
HB1: There are no cameras. No need to pose.
GG: That was not one look. That was three.
HB1: Your an asshole.

Oz and HB1 enter a conversation. Xtra and get up and walk about 5 feet away and discuss what is going on.

5 minutes later. Oz and HB Join us.
Oz: What kind of cigarettes are those?
HB1: Nat Shirmans
GG: (Pull out my pack of Nat Shirmans and show her.)
HB1: (Dirty Look)
OZ: You could fit tampons in this freaking box of cigarettes.
HB1: You could not. It is to small.
GG: Wow, I don't want to meet the girls that need a bigger one.
HB1: Your an asshole. Just for that your friends can thank you. I was going to introduce them to my hot friends (pointing), but now you guys are off the books.
GG: What hot friends?
HB1: Those, over there.
GG: I don't see anyone.
HB1: THOSE RIGHT THERE.
GG: I am still waiting. I don't see these "HOT" friends you are talking about. (I step into her space and wag my finger up and down pointing at her outfit). Call me old fashioned, but should you really be wearing white pants after labor day?
HB1: They are not white. They are cream.
GG: They are white Hon.
HB1: Your gay.
GG: Yes, I am gay. But, if I wasn't you would so be mine.
HB1: Your an asshole (smile and walk off to join boyfriend and friends).

5 minutes later Oz, Xtra, and I are talking about the night and looking around.

HB1: (Interrupting our conversation) I have had time to think about it. You are not gay.
Oz: (Something I can't remember)
HB1: Your not gay. Cause if you were you would have known that this is winter white. (Puts her hand up for a high five to me).
GG: (Returns High Five) It was a pleasure meeting you.
HB1: What's you name?
GG: XYZ
HB1: XYZ, good night (walks off)

Ok, here is my issue with the whole thing. The shit test was tough, but fun. Wish I could remember more of exactly what happened. I know there is a lot I am leaving out, but most of it is just more back and forth banter. Where was the point were I could have turned the conversation? How do you make the transition from shit test to something more productive?

_________________
"Courage is resistance to fear , mastery of fear , not the absence of fear " - Mark Twain

http://www.TXPUALounge.com

...Does that turkey baster thing honestly work? It seems more disgusting than interesting or seductive : /.

Like any opener it is how you deliver it. Also, the gist of the opener is that your wing just told you this story and you are asking them if they think it is true or if he is pulling your leg. The opener is not meant to be seductive. It is meant to capture their attention, disqualify you as trying to hit on them (cause who in their right mind would use that) and more than anything get a big laugh. I have had sets almost shoot their drinks through their noses laughing. I have used it a bunch of times and it has never failed to get a good reaction. Two weeks ago I n-closed a HB 8.5 lawyer having opened with it. Even this time the HB had to catch herself laughing before she could shit test me.

Oddly, this was a popular thing to do a couple of years ago for about 10 minutes till someone killed themselves. Darwin's theory hard at work and all. I really did no an idiot that did this.

The opener came about one night a couple of months ago. Xtra and I were walking to the next bar discussing Style's dental floss opener and the premise of how it was created. He challenged me to come up with something equally as absurd in 10 minutes or less involving a Turkey Baster. Took me two minutes to think of it and form it into an opinion opener.

Now back to the question at hand...

_________________
"Courage is resistance to fear , mastery of fear , not the absence of fear " - Mark Twain

http://www.TXPUALounge.com

I'd maybe run a DHV routine, and DLV the shit out of her in the process. She was sniping at you big time with that gay shit test repetition of hers, so I'd probably have gone with:

Scent: I hate you, you're cute though. Call me gay again and I'm yours

I had a similar incident recently. I am convinced that its just the way all aries are.

I met this chick at a bar my friend works. Only had time to run an opener along with a few DHV spikes mixed with negs. We agreed to try to meet again(she was with co-workers). Next might we meet and all I get is shit-test after shit-test. In my mind I'm like "where does this end?"I powered through it with ultra confidence and turning the tables to make her qualify. This only worked because I had established myself as c/f from the start. Anyway, this happened in almost every thread I started but after it was all said and done there was a day2 k-close and the rest will happen this week.

My best advice is to keep projecting your confidence through her shit tests. sometimes you will have 10-12 shit-tests in a night but never stammer or studder and make her know she has something to prove.

-d