former AFC, discovered my natural abilities



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:40 am 
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Some personal thoughts about having a natural game, any kind of opinion or criticism is welcomed. Hope this can be helpful to others. Hope you can excuse my bad English...

Yep, I used to be a person who was always afraid of having any kind of contacts with people
In highschool I was extremely introverted, especially in the first year, but the strange part was that there were 2 or three girls who really liked me. My first girlfriend was a very popular girl in school, I really don't know why she liked me, I was the absolute definition of AFC.

However...

After going to college and after studying abroad for 2 years I could overcome most of my fears and change completely. From a complete afc I turned into a true Alpha. I don't know exactly how did it happened but many of my old friends were surprised about the change. When I came back home after these 2 years I was extremely self-confident, I was talking with anybody like I am the best in any kind of situation. I think maybe it's also related with the fact that I started practicing martial arts during this time, I traveled a lot and met many kind of people. Now I became exactly the opposite of the person I used to be before, now I am the one who initiates conversations, who is the center of the party, the most noisy, the most troublemaking, who never gives a shit about anything, who drinks the most (although I have to admit that some of these things I was doing in highschool also, like drinking and making a lot of trouble, just I was very scared about talking with girls). When I begin to talk or tell a story or a joke they listen to my like I'm a prophet...

Speaking about girls now... I can't say I'm particularly good looking, but I discovered that attitude is soooo important. Confidence, posture, eye contact, smile, touch with confidence... this is so important... especially when I discovered I could do it so naturally, although before I couldn't do any of this and I was so scared. In other words I learned how to not give a shit.

Now maybe it is also because those 2 years I've spent in China, there the interaction was much more distant than here (I come from Romania, a latin country with a lot of slavic influence, we drink like the russians and dance like any other latino country hehe), no kino at all and not so much eye-contact (it can make them a little uncomfortable), so when I came back I found out I was missing so much this kind of close-contact interaction, about witch I was so afraid before.

Maybe this thing I had it inside me all along just maybe because a troubled childhood it couldn't come out from the start. Anyway, if you just do it like a game, like you are just playing... it's the easiest and the most natural thing in the world.

Because I have this history and I have to admit sometimes I still have some hesitations, especially when going to the next step from just flirting, I started to read about this on the internet and I was so happy to see there is this kind of place where you can talk about it. I am a perfectionist and a very stubborn person, I discovered I have this natural ability but I also understand that I need to perfect it.

I am gladly open to any kind of feedback.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:34 pm 
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I bet going abroad for 2 years really helped. That is something to this day I wish I had done.

It may sound a little new age or something, but I believe we all are born with a core essence, and that our ego and personality form around that. Therefore, what we think we are, ego and personality, is not the true us. When people say "just be yourself" they are actually correct, but they are talking about the wrong self :)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:04 pm 
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Great stuff.

How I like to think about it is how you hang out with your brother or like your best friend, when your chilling out and laughing and just having FUN> you want to act that way with everyone.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:05 am 
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[quote]How I like to think about it is how you hang out with your brother or like your best friend, when your chilling out and laughing and just having FUN> you want to act that way with everyone.[/quote]

Hehe... maybe you can say that... I never thought about it this way... I think that there is a difference though... With girls it's flirting not just hanging around like you do with your brother... if it's just hanging around it means something like friendzone... there must be some tension there...

And when I got back from studying abroad I discovered how easy is to impress a girl telling them about the places I've been to, you know.. travel stories... adventure....

But lately I just set a goal that I want to reach: make a girl like me without letting her know anything about me. I mean a more direct and fast way... I guess it will be even more interesting for her to find out afterward all the other exciting things about me hehehe

Me I'm really a very chaotic person... If I like a girl I won't necessarily do something on purpose... I just let it go naturally, eventually she's gonna discover I'm the most interesting person she ever met... hehe But I'm not going out of my way to do it...

For example last night I got so drunk and I wanted to chat with a HB8 on the messenger... It was hilarious... I commented something about a link she posted... something about a dog in japan that was guarding another dog wounded when the tsunami came... maybe you saw it on the news
it was like this:
me: ohhh [HB name], It's so moving this thing... that dog looks so similar with my dog...
me: I wish I had an emoticon for what I'm feeling now...
her: yeah....
her: what are you up to lately? I wasn't so good the past few days
me: oh... i'm wasted... I drank a bottle of vodka... I guess I'm just very empathic... I made a mess in my room... I broke some things around here... I don't think it's the best time to talk....

and here it ended... no answer from her... nothing from me (obviously)... :lol:

Sometimes I'm doing things like this and I already have a reputation among my friends... The most interesting part is that most of the girls (especially some HB8s and 9s hehe) are not scared about it... sometimes made me think that they really like me more when I'm drunk hehe...

The conclusion is... you have to do what is important in your life, have a goal, an ideal (except PU-ing) and on the way try to have fun as well... this lets you have a playful and relax attitude with women and also in other interactions with people.


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