It comes a time, in any midterm or long term relationship, where either the girl or the guy or both will decide to not use a condom anymore.
As responsible that we all should be, both about unwanted pregnancy and STD's, I hope all of you use condoms when first starting with a girl, or with a stranger on a one night stand or else... at least I did, and I pretend to do so, if I ever have sex with another girl or if my current relationship ends.
The case with this relationship, I think we used a condom more for the pregancy issue. I knew that I was her first, but she wasnt my first, though I've always used a condom. After a few months we decided to go on birth control, and said goodbye to the condoms, I didn't hesitated more because I knew she couldn't have an STD, so all good here.
Now, what do you do, when you are with a girl, 1, 2, 3 months and then you decide to go with birth control and leave the condoms out. Would you ask her to take a disease test?? My gf said to me once "I always thought that when I was ready to have sex, I would ask the guy to get an STD Test" ...
In this new age, almost everyone has had at least one sexual partner, if not several by the age of 18 (Thank God I skipped that age)... but, both girls and guys become more liberal, they get hornier at sooner ages (when I was 15 all I could think about was video games) and now you see 15 year old pregnant girls.
So, we live in a really sexually active world now.
Lets assume you're 23 and shes 22 ... You've both had your quite share of sexual partners, lets say... 2 per year... starting at age 20? ... This is obviously not real, but lets just state for a fact that is the rate.. So you've had 8 partners and shes had 6 ...
Maybe more! ... and you are in a relationship, closing in on the 3rd or 4th month mark, and you realize condoms are becoming boring and just not feels the same and you decide to go with birth control and dont use a condom anymore.
Would you ask her to get an STD Test??? ... who knows maybe one of her 6 partners had another 10 partners and one gave him an STD and he passed it along to your girl.
Now lets say the test is positive, would you still remain with her, and have sex all your life with condoms?
Or would you leave her for the fact of having an STD??

Personally speaking, yes...I would ask her to get tested and have myself tested as well, for her piece of mind.

Staying with a girl based on whether or not she has an STD is a difficult decision. There are many factors involved. For example, what type of STD are we talking about? Is it something that can be cleared up with a shot, will it stay with her the rest of her life, or is it serious enough to kill her (or you)? Plus, what are your 'feelings' towards her? Are you infatuated with her, or do you feel a deep level of love for her, does she feel the same way? I know one thing, dating someone for a 3 or 4 month period is hardly enough time to talk about a life long commitment.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

sinful, your posts are always so spot on and helpful (like a diagnosis), that your avatar is very suiting, lol. i picture you looking like House!

If you're committed to exclusivity, you should both get tested and leave the rubbers aside--assuming all checks out. Problem is, if one of you strays you can't be sure anymore, and who confesses these days?

If she has something, I'd be inclined to walk, because I know I'll probably move on at some point and don't want to risk "tarnishing my record."

I think I'd present it just that way - you want to consider not using condoms anymore, but you want to make sure you're both safe.

Both of you can get tested together. That way, she doesn't feel like you're being accusatory, and she can have her own peace of mind.

If she has an STD, or you do, I'd say it depends on how communicable it is and whether it's worth the risk. If she's HIV positive, for example, that might be something that you don't want to risk. But chlamydia or gonorrhea are generally easy to clear up, and that's workable.

House rules!

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

Frame it differently:
when the topic comes up of not using a condom say something like this "I am going to go to the sexual health clinic and get tested before we do anything, that way you will have peace of mind I am clean which I am sure you want to know but didn't want to ask... Tell you what, lets make a day of it - we will start with *interesting activity* then we will both go and get tested and then we can go and *another fun thing*"

I didn't made this post because I was in this situation... I just want to get opinions on everyone. This is my first real LTR relationship... a year next month... on my past relationships which only lasted a few months, I always used a condom, except on one girl that was her first time.
When speaking about HIV, it is dangerous, really, I don't think I could be with that girl, and I don't want to sound discriminatory, but if you don't think for yourself no one else will.
What if tommorow my relationship ends and later on the road I get into another LTR relationship with a girl I know has had sex before...
Sometimes, the hornyness doesn't allows us to think straight and we are tempted to rush into having sex without a condom ... I know I've been in those situations, luckily I have not ceased to temptation.
The "new generation" of kids, the ones that are 16-18 now are so different from when me and my friends were at that age, they are so sexually active now its scary seeing a 14 year old asking how to bring her girl to orgasm, they are also less educated about all this. My brother is 17, and hes with a girl for like 4 months and I gave him some condoms at the beginning and told him to be careful, both of STD and pregancy...
Sinful... can you ask your own questions for me??
Lets say she has HIV, and you're both in love's deep spell. What would you do? Would you remain with her and use condoms for as long as you last (Not knowing how long that can be?)
What if you're just a fling, but shes smoking hot and youre crazy to fuck her but don't feel love's charm, and lets say she has a more treatable disease, and in fact she is aware of it and is taking SPAM..
Personally, an STD would be a RED FLAG for me, and I don't think I'll think it twice to leave the girl.

if a girl has aids/hiv she can be the hottest girl in the world i would say bye bye
if she has a cureable disease like gonorrhea and/or chlamydia / syphillis then it would be ok after she got treated

no doubt you should ask. this is your health we're talking about. Just be upfront " Hey, to give me piece of mind I'm going to get tested, I feel it'll make me feel better knowing that everythings fine with me and I think you should to, just so we can be sure about what we're doing"

condoms sux keep it real

Better to be safe than sorry. The best way to do it is how Madals says to, imo. But not doing it at all is the worse.

I remember the first time getting head in my life (yes, this was just head... not even sex)... It was dark... I stuck my phone down my girlfriends throat to see for any cold sores or something lol.

If you're in an LTR and you are both exclusive, then get tested. Look up the maximum amount of time it takes for HIV to be detected by tests once its in the body and then work off that. When i went to Malaysia/Thailand/Singapore the sexual health information I was given by the doc was get tested 6 months after becoming exclusive and if its all clear you're good to lose the tarp. You can get tested before, but they dont advise unprotected sex until after having a 6 month test

I like what Madal said... and it's probably a lot better than my method. When I had this conversation with my last girlfriend, we were at IHOP at 3am after a party. I waited for her to take a drink of her soda and said, "Hey, I like tickling you from the inside, but latex is starting to irritate my penis from too much sex." After she wiped the Coke dripping from her nose, I went into the whole schpiel about getting tested and birth control shots.

Meh, whatever works for you I suppose.

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I echo what Medal has said too.

My girlfriend was already on the pill when I started going out with her, and we'd both been tested very recently so we began having sex without a condom from the beginning, it's SO much better without. She has messed up the pill a few times though and forgotten to take it, so we went back to condoms for a while, you always have to be careful.