First... Hi.... Long time listener, first time caller. Have been reading / practicing PUA since November and am very pleased with the results. My game has evolved in that time to a combination of Natural / Direct.

So... I met an HB9 off of the interwebs. Girlie is 9-10 across the board... intellect as well as looks.. that said, she's also a psychologist... and consequently, if not "game aware," then at least VERY cogniscent of kino, body language, shit-testing, etc in our past interactions.

We have a similar (fairly rare) family background, so comfort was built up super fast.

Been on two dates, KC'd both... but we were far from either of our places first time 'round, and I had a brunch date with another HB9 the following morning second time 'round, so fun stopped there. After the second date I went away on a week long hiking trip with a platonic chick friend. Just got back... first HB9 and I are supposed to hang out this weekend before I go away snowboarding for a week to Colorado with guys from college.

So last night we're talking on the phone about what we're doing this weekend, and she tells me all about how she just started taking tango lessons... how at first the instructor didn't look like much, but now that they've danced she's attracted to him. Tells me that dance is a metaphor for life... man leads... she loved being guided, etc.

After that, she goes on to tell me how she wants to plan a trip with a platonic dude friend to New Orleans and how he is so perfect for her to travel with because he loves hiking (i just got back from a hiking trip), snowboarding (i'm about to leave on a snowboarding trip), and NOLA (she and I talk about the city often and have both volunteered there).

She closed the shit-test barrage by saying how comfortable she feels around me, and that its like we've known each other for years (honestly, I feel the same way).... although she's not certain that the comfort is a good thing in terms of dating.

WTF??

Fun as it is... I'm not dating for the hell of it, but am looking for a good LTR.

Thoughts please.

-Midas

Well, you are seeing other girls, so you can't complain about her for seeing other guys.

However I had a similar problem with a girl I dated. She would tell me, or her friends while I was there, how handsome she thinks other guys are.

I defined for my self that I wanted to try out dating only her for a while, so I talked to her about it. I said that; if she rather wanted to see other guys, I would be fine with it. But I wouldn't want to play with her anymore then. She said; she didn't want that, and that she didn't need to see anyone else while we were dating.

But she continued to call other guys hot and handsome while in my presence. To make her stop, I told her that if she wanted to let me know how she felt about others men all the time, I could try it too(said a bit playful). So I played the jealousy game, and talked about my cute friends, and my hot models(I'm a photographer). That made her stop.

Don't know if the same situation, but this is my thoughts at least.

/arn

Arn,

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I appreciate it. I like your approach for getting into exclusivity.. and will likely adapt, borrow the idea at some point down the road.

I too have hot chick friends, but I've learned to use jealousy sparingly as building it up then makes integrating a girl into my social circle problematic.

My issue isn't with her seeing other guys, its with how to interpret, and respond to the three shit tests she threw.

-Midas

Hey Midas,

The dancing thing I would be 'betting she's probably a terrible dancer and has no rythm and the instructor only gave her the attention because of that' (playfully). - She'd likely respond with 'hell no, im not terrible' or 'hell no, i would out dance you anytime'. - Then i'd be like 'ew, and now even bragging? you are so subtle. you always brag so much?'. - 'respsonse'. - 'ok well you have to prove it to me, im still not convinced, since you said you were only watching the instructors body'. (nice frame setting imo ).


The trip: 'thx for the invite to new orleans, but i want to get to know someone better before i let someone kidnap me'. Or 'thx for the invite, but i am pretty busy for a while. Don't think i can take a vacation anytime soon'. or 'thats quite something for a 3rd date Lisa, you are quite adventurous, aren't you?'
or something along those lines that fits the context.


The comfort thing is a tough one. i might try and twist it into: 'yea, u know what i think the problem is? We're too similar. We would all be about fighting and make-up seks (classic MM)'. Depending on her response you could say 'altho im quite sure the seks thing would be fkn hot..'. Then depending on the response something C-F 'Although for me it would, im a rockstar in bed'. The sexualisation can only take place, if she's going with it after the first time u mention seks ofc.

Jabba

If she is as smart as you claim she is then regardless of whether she is "game aware" she will most definitely be "human aware". I may of had a similar experience as you except with a sociology major who also had a strong background in psychology. It was a constant back and forth game with a bit a of mind diving that started from the moment we met. Good stuff but not for me with all my skeletons I wasn't about to date a girl with super powers.

If I were to, however, pursue someone like that I would be very direct after committing to dating her exclusively about whether she felt the same way. Her dance story is pointing out that she likes someone who can take the initiative (you making a move/ her following your move) and telling you about her other guy friends is the hard to get mentality. Lastly how comfortable she is with you and how you might not be dateable shows that she is scared of committing to you or taking it to the point of no return as far as being emotionally invested.

Good luck in whatever course of action you choose to pursue. That girl sounds well armed & I wouldn't mind being able to sit down for coffee with someone like that. Just remember to respect the fact that mind games work both ways.