When you are in a LTR, how do you find that happy medium between being a nice guy and being an asshole. In other words, when do you drop the “I don’t give a shit” or cocky funny attitude and start to pour on some sensitive, understanding, nice guy? Conversely, when do you drop the nice guy attitude and turn back to being the asshole?

It seems like the answer to this question is different for a LTR vs a One night stand or Fuck-Buddy. There is a different dynamic to each and so I feel like the amount of nice guy and asshole varies in each situation. What are your thoughts on this?

Never be an asshole, you will always lose. C&F ≠ asshole. You want to portray unshakable confidence, and you want to playfully tease her. In no case should you be hurtful, insulting, or rude--in short an asshole. C&F is fun, flirty, and challenging, being an ass is a huge turn off.

With that cleared up, your question becomes mute. But on a tangent, a good rule of thumb is that the longer or more involved the relationship, the more you seek to build a bond. And you can't build a bond without making her like you by being nice to her. If she's in an LTR with you, she wants you to make her feel special. The reason people get confused is because AFCs, while playing the nice guy, are also pussies. So many erroneously deduce that you have to be an ass to avoid being a pussy. Not so.

ok, that makes perfect sense.

But at what point in my relationship (Im about 6 wks into an exclusive relationship with an HB9) do I switch off the C&F? C&F is usually meant to build attraction right?

I understand that Nice guy does not mean "be a pussy" but at the same time, I dont want to be too nice in fear of coming off as needy. In other words, I want her to feel like she has to work at this relationship too so that I'm not stuck supplicating.

A happy medium is all im looking for - perhaps if there is some reading material on not being too needy during a relationship, you could point me in that direction?

Salut!

The answer is not to find the gold center of these two attitudes, it's about behaving appropriately to the situation. You see, you can be C&F on a normal day, during a walk or while watching a movie on your PC and you can be a romantic nice guy when it comes to dinner with her. It's not about being all the time in the middle, you should play every tune on her emotional keyboard.

Salut!

Surielx.

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An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
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Generally in relationships, the less you "act" like something or "try" to do something, the better off you are. In a long lasting and healthy relationship, both partners are very comfortable being themselves, and the natural outcome is that the two compliment each other (or not). The last thing you want is to try to sustain a relationship by manipulating your partner (or yourself) by adopting an act... your life will become a miserable game that you will analyze to death.

Be yourself, and if things don't work out, chalk it up to lack of compatibility and move on. After all, what is more insane than being an actor in your own life?

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- Lux et Veritas -

Simple answer is be the man, and allow her too be the woman