Hi guys,

I'm quite new in this forum, but certainly not new to pickup or game. I've spent quite a while exploring those topics.

Probably THE most important aspect of natural game and of understanding women is INTUITION. This is why the routines and strategies method is imo not very effective. Women operate on a COMPLETELY different level than most men. Women feel and act according to their emotions, where as us men, are oftentimes relying on logic.

Developing your emotional intelligence (aka intuition) is a very important skill if you want to develop a more natural game.

Have you ever tried to argue with a feminine women on a logical level? Have you had the feeling that she does not really understand what you are trying to say? This is because we often are not in tune with her emotions. In order to do that, we need to understand human needs on a deeper level. Usually people (and especially) women are motivated by their emotions, which come from emotional needs. This is why understanding the underlying NEED of a conversation can get you much faster results in establishing a genuine connection with the girl.

It took me a long time to realize this. I've been in this community for about four years now and only now am I starting to truly understand the nature of our emotions.

Now the unfortunate thing is that emotions CAN NOT be understood at a logical level. You might give labels to them, you might invent fancy models about how they operate, yet unless you FEEL it you won't fully understand it.

So, how do you develop your emotional intelligence?

Well, the most straightforward way is of course experience. Talking to many women will helo you gain more insight. Yet, there is a very important ingredient that you need in order to learn this probably relatively new was of understanding. This is CURIOSITY. Instead of analyzing what is happening in the situation. Become curious about it and about the girl you are talking to. This is will help you get a deeper connection and understand her emotions.

The other way is to work on "dropping you ego". Now this might sound like an "out there" concept, but in reality it's pretty simple: our ego is that little voice in our heads that comes up when we experience something new. It is protecting us from failure. A lot of the times, we have been listening to our ego all our lives, thinking that it's telling the truth. However, this is everything but correct. Our ego is trying to protect us from IMAGINARY dangers (at least most of them). When you learn how to become aware of your ego and act despite of what it's saying to you you will be able to lower its resistance.

Finally, there are ways to drop your ego like meditation, EFT and so on. These methods help you to become more "present" and be in your body, feel the emotions and hence understand emotions better.

hope this helps!
Ivan.

Interesting post, but the content is more theoretical and not practical enough for some people in order to use that skill. here's a post which i wrote about rapport.

building rapport is a very interesting process. in order to build a great emotional connection one must choose to talk about things which have deep emotional content. it does not matter what the girl does or likes, you can connect with her even if you have dissimilar interests. as you know all occupations and hobbies are completely different in their complexity, principles and structure, but there is one thing which all of them have in common/share "EMOTIONS". one must be empathetic and show a girl that u understand why she chose to do that job or hobbie by expressing the emotions that one feels when doing that activity, it shows that you're really trying to get to know her, and she will think "wow this is a great guy to talk to, he's making an effort to understand me, but wait, i dont know anything about him" and this will compel her to ask you questions and u can freely express yourself how ever much u want as long as u express urself passionately and positively. all the men dont do this at all and do not understand how much empathy is a powerful force and openly allow themselves to be perceived to see a girl superficially. you can use the concept of 'rapport' to ur advantage as well.

in order for you to build greater rapport with her, get used to asking more open-ended questions e.g. "what have you been up to?" or "What did u get up to today?", my one: "What monkey business did u get up to today?". dont use questions like "wats up hun?", thats a closed-ended question which the girl would simply answer and she wont give u much material to work on in order to reach the hook point.

and connect on her answers in a positive way. dont be afraid to tease her as well. dont be afraid to create impact. when telling a girl about a situation that happened to u on that day or in the week, give more details about it, women love details. it is also good to read the local news paper, women are usually very aware what happens in the world, u should as well. u can get her point of view on something in the news (nothing to do with which celebrity had sex with who) e.g. political, environmental, sociological etc and then she would ask you what u think and you can manipulate the conversation which can lead anywhere u want.

another way u can have an "endless conversation" is the principle of "Question, statement, Question, statement, Q, S, Q, S etc". so u ask an open question, receive the answer, and then make a statement about the last thing she said in order to ask a deeper question. this process can go round in a circle, it can go on for ages.

hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude

yeah I agree. It's more of a mindset change post. However, at the end I gave some practical advice about meditation,so now guys can go and check out this topics. I like the term alpha male meditation, because it refers to how we can become more alpha by using meditation. EFT is another powerful method to drop the ego and increase intuition.

I could give more concrete tips, but I find that the person should take responsibility and figure out by himself what works and what not. After all, all of this is experiential learning!

btw. I don't believe in a "Magic Pill solution" that's why I find more "theoretical" or mindset-changing advice more effective in the long run.

It's excellent post with a great perspective but you separated women from men. This is an issue because their are some women I have come across that rarely allow their emotions to influence their decisions, their are also some men that allow their emotions or "gut" to make most of the decisions in their life.

The truth of it is while women are more likely to be in more touch with their emotions, it is wrong to classify like this. I am a big fan of using personality to figure out which ways to appeal to certain people. Men tend to be less emotionally decision based but in reality it comes from their character or personality.

A good example is you wrote "I don't believe", this means you also use how you feel to make or influence a decisions, it also explains why you understand a woman's intuition a little more. The other writer needed more structure, he prefers more hard and concrete tactics on how to build rapport. He is based more on facts. You have to realize what influences one of us won't always influence all of us, sure some tactics influences a wider portion of the population but you can't expect every tactic to influence everyone.

A good salesmen will know when a person needs to hear more facts or "feel" more. Different people need different things to make a decision. That is basic no need to get to far into it. For you theoretical or mindset-changing advice is more effective but for the next person it is simply something they read.

This worked great because it was a great example of two people needing different things to be influenced. Keep in mind when you are trying to teach anyone certain types of personalities will be more influenced by something then others. Good advice to one person may be terrible advice for someone else, each person is different and you should adjust to each person accordingly.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

GREAT point. Thanks for pointing that out.

But let me explain. I AM emotionally driven. your are completely correct. But what I see a lot in the pick up community is that guys tend to over analyze everything and get in their heads. This is exactly what happened to me. I was trying to rely on logic, because that felt safer to me. There are a lot of reasons why people rely more on their logic than on their emotions. Sometimes it's because they have disassociated from their emotions (both women and men) due to some traumatic experiences (and I'm not necessarily talking about Big traumas, a constant nagging from parents could have done the job too). And I felt like the seduction community has made it even worse.

The post here was intended for guys who over analyze everything (just like I used to be) and to help them get more in touch with their intuition. I do believe that every one has an intuition, even the very rational people, but some have not learned how to use it. Also, to understand women's emotions on an emotional level.


So you are totally right that some people think on a different level and each person is different. But connecting to your heart and intuition is a skill that is very important in life and that a lot of people could use very well.