From AFC to PUA: a Learning Journal (AFC Daniel)



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:52 am 
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Daniel, your number close ratio is freaking impressive!

I do believe you should try to get out of your comfort zone if number closing is becoming easy...

Have you tried the idea of an instant date?

Such as... After you've number closed her. Ask her to go grab a coffee? Sell it as an exciting opportunity... Then escalate, isolate and kiss close her behind a building when you are walking her back?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:07 pm 
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Daniel, your number close ratio is freaking impressive!

I do believe you should try to get out of your comfort zone if number closing is becoming easy...

Have you tried the idea of an instant date?

Such as... After you've number closed her. Ask her to go grab a coffee? Sell it as an exciting opportunity... Then escalate, isolate and kiss close her behind a building when you are walking her back?
Yeah, I need to do something here. It's really strange. Maybe it's cultural, people are just nice and give their phone number easily... I don't know. I think I'm going to try direct and instant dates. I'll push the interaction further since I still have a wriggle room.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:10 pm 
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Quote:
- I should change the opener... I ask if she speaks English, but she does not, I end up speaking a perfect Portuguese for 20 minutes... That's no congruent at all.
If you want to change your opener to improve your game, ok.
But I don't see any flaw in your current opener...
Do you really think that a girl would realize "He asked me if I spoke English in the opener and then he started speaking Portuguese"... lol...

1) The girls never remember the opener! They remember the clothes, the face, the attitude, the body language, the attraction, the comfort, the vibe... The words? Not really...

2) You are a foreigner! You asked if she speaks English because you know English better than Portuguese!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:54 pm 
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Too easy to be good game?
Okay, something is wrong here. Everytime I went for a number/facebook close, I got it. That's a 100% ratio for now. There's a problem here. Are Brazilian chicks easier to game? Am I doing something wrong? Dunno. But that statistic shows something: I'm not going far enough. I should get out of my comfort zone and go direct/sexual. In addition, I have to see how many # close does not flake. For now, I have no date. I need to be sure that it is clear that I'm wanting a date with them.
What makes you think that the game should be difficult? This is probably a good time to reflect on your dreams. A while back, you wrote:
Quote:
My dreams: what I want.
I've started this journey for two main reasons:
- I want to be a real man: confident, dominant, secure, funny, social, attractive, trustworthy, successful, ...
- I want to attract women.
Of course, one can argue that my second goal is actually a result of achieving the first one. Indeed, being a real man attracts women.
Do you know anybody in real life who goes out during the day, SEEKING to kiss or fuck a girl he just met? In my mind, these guys fall into 3 groups:

1. The commercial pua who needs to prove for marketing purposes that his day time k close can be achieved 5 minutes faster than the next guy.

2. The desperate and creepy guys with no lives who need some sort of closure RIGHT AWAY because once the girls find out about his real life, he knows they'll tell him to F off.

3. The students of #1 and #2 who are completely lost.

You do not belong in any of these 3 groups. If you REALLY connect well with a girl during the day, then fine, maybe just keep going with it but I see no reason to push yourself for the sake of pushing yourself. Get that number, plant some 'date fantasies' in her head and be confident and secure enough to know that she's in the bag. In my opinion, you're not missing anything in your game other than following through with your #'s and setting up dates. You have so many contacts already! Happyslip was probably just kidding but you don't have oneitis. You have FIVE-itis . . .or is it six-itis now? Call them, set up dates and just continue getting those numbers. You will soon reach a point where you won't have the time to collect numbers. (You might have reached that point already . . . you'll only know once you follow through with those numbers)

The night game is a bit different because people drink, dance, and the energy level is high and scattered . . . people expect a little fantasy and craziness. Going for the k close and more in this environment is fun and many people expect it.

If you want to change your dreams, go ahead; these things can always change. However, if your dreams above are still relevant to you, then continue with tasks/goals that lead to those dreams. Don't let the tasks/goals of other people's dreams get in your way.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:08 pm 
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- I should change the opener... I ask if she speaks English, but she does not, I end up speaking a perfect Portuguese for 20 minutes... That's no congruent at all.
If you want to change your opener to improve your game, ok.
But I don't see any flaw in your current opener...
Do you really think that a girl would realize "He asked me if I spoke English in the opener and then he started speaking Portuguese"... lol...

1) The girls never remember the opener! They remember the clothes, the face, the attitude, the body language, the attraction, the comfort, the vibe... The words? Not really...

2) You are a foreigner! You asked if she speaks English because you know English better than Portuguese!
I guess you're right, they does not even really remember the opener but I thought it was strange that a guy asking a girl if she speaks English end up by speaking a good Portuguese during 20 min straight.

I'll change anyway to improve my game.

Thanks for your advice Italian.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:49 pm 
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Quote:
Addressed issues.
- Inability to kiss close.

Strategy.
The opener does not really matters, I just need to build enough comfort and attraction to go for a small kiss on the lips.

Goals.
Kiss a girl I've just approached on the lips

Results: a # close, no kiss close.
This is day game man! Why do you want to kiss close right after the approach?

The only way to do that is on an istant date: approach -> build comfort -> have a coffee together -> routines and kiss close

But this would require something like a couple of hours!
Anything less than that in day game is almost harassing!

If your goal was to kiss close within 10 minutes or so... you're pushing yoursef too hard!

I am laughing right now thinking about a journal entry like:

Addressed issues.
- Inability to f-close.

Strategy.
The opener does not really matters, I just need to build enough comfort, attraction and seduction to go for a f-close.

Goals.
Fuck a girl I've just approached

Results: got slapped on my face, no f-close.

:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:54 pm 
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My dreams are still the same Kasabi. I just would like to go faster, and I thought this stupid challenge would have forced me to get definitely out of my comfort zone.
Quote:
My dreams: what I want.
I've started this journey for two main reasons:
- I want to be a real man: confident, dominant, secure, funny, social, attractive, trustworthy, successful, ...
- I want to attract women.
Of course, one can argue that my second goal is actually a result of achieving the first one. Indeed, being a real man attracts women.
But you're right to warn me about that. I have dreams. Let's not forget about them. I have worked a lot on my blocking points. Approaching with success helped me a lot, but I still have a lot to do to tackle most of my issues. I'll write a post about that.
Quote:
You do not belong in any of these 3 groups. If you REALLY connect well with a girl during the day, then fine, maybe just keep going with it but I see no reason to push yourself for the sake of pushing yourself. Get that number, plant some 'date fantasies' in her head and be confident and secure enough to know that she's in the bag. In my opinion, you're not missing anything in your game other than following through with your #'s and setting up dates. You have so many contacts already! Happyslip was probably just kidding but you don't have oneitis. You have FIVE-itis . . .or is it six-itis now? Call them, set up dates and just continue getting those numbers. You will soon reach a point where you won't have the time to collect numbers. (You might have reached that point already . . . you'll only know once you follow through with those numbers)
Good point.
- LMS: Aked her out, she said she would take me to the ice-cream place I wanted to go. She agreed but since it's carnaval, she's not sure about it. => I'll contact her to check if she's availabe finally.
- Miss Sunset: I've planted a nice date fantasy here (sunset) but she took one week to add me on Facebook... Anyway, I sent her a message telling her that I was serious about it and that we'll plan it when the weather gets better. I hope she'll answer quickly so I can build more rapport and maybe take her out in a mall or something. => waiting for response.
- Japanese Dory: spoke again with her about cinema through Facebook, told her she should take me to a cinema, but she logged off at that moment... => I'll see her again at the uni and escalate more, I would like to try some routines on her.
I'm less interested in the other ones... Should I set up a date with them anyway?
Quote:
The night game is a bit different because people drink, dance, and the energy level is high and scattered . . . people expect a little fantasy and craziness. Going for the k close and more in this environment is fun and many people expect it.
Sure. I think with more confidence and a better social circle, I could do something in night game.
Quote:
If you want to change your dreams, go ahead; these things can always change. However, if your dreams above are still relevant to you, then continue with tasks/goals that lead to those dreams. Don't let the tasks/goals of other people's dreams get in your way.
Sure Kasabi.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:40 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Addressed issues.
- Inability to kiss close.

Strategy.
The opener does not really matters, I just need to build enough comfort and attraction to go for a small kiss on the lips.

Goals.
Kiss a girl I've just approached on the lips

Results: a # close, no kiss close.
This is day game man! Why do you want to kiss close right after the approach?

The only way to do that is on an istant date: approach -> build comfort -> have a coffee together -> routines and kiss close

But this would require something like a couple of hours!
Anything less than that in day game is almost harassing!

If your goal was to kiss close within 10 minutes or so... you're pushing yoursef too hard!

I am laughing right now thinking about a journal entry like:

Addressed issues.
- Inability to f-close.

Strategy.
The opener does not really matters, I just need to build enough comfort, attraction and seduction to go for a f-close.

Goals.
Fuck a girl I've just approached

Results: got slapped on my face, no f-close.

:lol:
I should have been clearer here. I wrote this field report quickly since I was tired. My fault.

I was not thinking about street make out! Just a small kiss on my lips. I should have precised. I accepted this small challenge for fun, to see if I can escalate enough on the compliance ladder to have a small kiss on the lips. My strategy was badly explained, sorry about it. I thought about making it a French good bye: "do you want a Brazilian or French goodbye?" and go for a small kiss on the lips. That's all. It was a way to me to actually check if I was building enough comfort/attraction in my interaction. I was worried about being too friendly, not enough attractive.

Plus, the challenge was to try to it. I would have failed if I had not tried it. I have not been through the streets putting my lips on strangers.

I opened someone this morning and almost got it. I tried.

But you're both right. I have to stop playing around and focus on my goals.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:54 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
If you want to change your dreams, go ahead; these things can always change. However, if your dreams above are still relevant to you, then continue with tasks/goals that lead to those dreams. Don't let the tasks/goals of other people's dreams get in your way.
Quoted for emphasis.
:)

My dream is still the same. Don't think I'm becoming that guy that once he got it, just want to fuck the most chick he can. NOT AT ALL.

I accepted it because I wanted to go/learn faster. I feel like I'm not taking enough risks. Maybe I could learn from some rejection.

Being Frankestein.
You have to understand something about me. I'm Mary Shelley's Doctor Frankenstein. Not the monster, but Viktor Frankenstein. I love to learn and I confess that I have a tendency to want to be omniscient and omnipotent. I'm as impatient as he is... I want to go fast and know everything. Of course, you know the story: he created a monster... and that's what I should be aware of. I have to pay attention, I don't want to become that monster! So thanks to warn me about all this.

I'm happy to see that the community takes care of me. :)

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:25 pm 
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Actually . . . my point is that it's OK to change your dreams as long as you're aware of the change. You're putting some effort into it . . . you might as well as accomplish what you set out to accomplish.

In terms of speed: Lots of different opinions on the topic but I think in this forum, too many opinions are ego driven. They think that with their 'alpha frame' and 'magical game', they can bend how things usually flow. . . maybe they can . . . but the point is that in general:

The faster you escalate, shorter is the time frame to CLOSE THE DEAL. Even if it's just 'jokingly' done, if you escalate to the point where both parties show their cards and admit that there are some possibilities,(I think you got this far with the Japanese girl) you'll want to close as soon as possible. If you allow that energy to fizzle away,(and it fizzles faster if you escalated quickly) YOU become the flake. Once things cool down, she thinks, "What's the deal? He's just a flirt . . ."

If you plant fun ideas in her mind and keep it up . . . keep up the excitement and slowly let things brew, the time frame to close becomes wider. All things being equal, this is generally the way things work. I don't think one is better than the other but you should be aware of it and catch the window.
Quote:
- LMS: Aked her out, she said she would take me to the ice-cream place I wanted to go. She agreed but since it's carnaval, she's not sure about it. => I'll contact her to check if she's availabe finally.
- Miss Sunset: I've planted a nice date fantasy here (sunset) but she took one week to add me on Facebook... Anyway, I sent her a message telling her that I was serious about it and that we'll plan it when the weather gets better. I hope she'll answer quickly so I can build more rapport and maybe take her out in a mall or something. => waiting for response.
- Japanese Dory: spoke again with her about cinema through Facebook, told her she should take me to a cinema, but she logged off at that moment... => I'll see her again at the uni and escalate more, I would like to try some routines on her.
I'm less interested in the other ones... Should I set up a date with them anyway.
^This is related to this:
Quote:
What happened.
We were eating together with some friends, at some point, the two French girl started to speak about "Princess" spending the night with someone. Dunno what happened but I started to be in my mind. I was not liking what I was hearing. Some frustration came up... but I handle it (thanks to meditation). I started to like her and want her. Nothing so anormal, but I had a really strange feeling in my chest... this feeling fueled my ambition, determination, motivation... whatever you call it.

Then I realized one thing. I did not come to the Game because my gf dumped me (I was not even happy in this relationship) but because... she started to see someone else. Similarly, I got LMS's number after seeing a picture of my ex-gf with her boyfriend... I don't know what this feeling is actually. I just know it is negative, maybe AFC, yet it moves me forward as never. Is it jealousy? Envy? Maybe I just don't want to be left aside... I just don't know. It makes me sad/frustrated on the first place but then gives me an insane amount of motivation. I'm discovering a lot of strange things about myself lately...
Fine . . . you can't identify it but you know it stirs your emotions; for now this is all you need to know and accept. Accept ^this . . . and make it work for you.

Here's a story:

There are a few professional charter fishing captains at the marina. These days, with the high price of fuel and the state of the economy, these guys aren't too busy. Every time I pass one particular captain, he's always asking me, "Hey, the fishing is great, I'll take you out ANY TIME you want. . . " - Well . . .the fishing is so great I can choose any time I want to go and he's got no clients? Is it any wonder I always see him drinking beers tied up to the dock?

The smart charter captains always tell you, "The fishing's been great! Unfortunately, I'm completely booked up for the next three weeks." - Which came first? The smart marketing ploy or his actual busy schedule? And really, I don't see this guy's boat ALWAYS gone from the docks either . . .

Do you get what's going on here? You're a fun, adventurous, International, professional guy with a busy schedule. The idea of waiting for a girl to set up a time/date with you doesn't make sense. Get in the habit of setting YOUR time/date with girls not only because this tends to peak their interest more but because this is who you are. This is what you're going to HAVE TO DO when you are stacked with back to back to back dates, managing academic commitments, and exploring professional/personal interests.

"Sorry I've been so busy . . . hey, how's Friday at 4 looking for you? . . . Ice cream!" - Sure, she might say she's busy . . . who knows? This is just part of the game . . . and if so, the rest of the conversation IS NOT a reschedule but a demonstration of 'how great the fishing has been." - Get it? Then you end the call by telling her, "I'll call you." - When? Who knows . . .you're a busy fucking man! LOL . . .

Then you just continue getting numbers, calling up dates, going on dates, following through with wishy washy girls, setting up schedules, getting numbers, going to parties, going to school (remember school?), writing up business plans, going on dates, clubs, etc . . .

Everything is coming together:

1. Catch the window.
2. Be smart about your scheduling.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:53 pm 
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Actually . . . my point is that it's OK to change your dreams as long as you're aware of the change. You're putting some effort into it . . . you might as well as accomplish what you set out to accomplish.
Sure, but that would be non-sense. Because I can have some numbers now, I'll change my plans, forget about all my blocking points and try to fuck as many women as possible? That would be silly. Let's not confuse a short-term goal (dating a girl, getting laid) with my dream.
Quote:
In terms of speed: Lots of different opinions on the topic but I think in this forum, too many opinions are ego driven. They think that with their 'alpha frame' and 'magical game', they can bend how things usually flow. . . maybe they can . . . but the point is that in general:

The faster you escalate, shorter is the time frame to CLOSE THE DEAL. Even if it's just 'jokingly' done, if you escalate to the point where both parties show their cards and admit that there are some possibilities,(I think you got this far with the Japanese girl) you'll want to close as soon as possible. If you allow that energy to fizzle away,(and it fizzles faster if you escalated quickly) YOU become the flake. Once things cool down, she thinks, "What's the deal? He's just a flirt . . ."

If you plant fun ideas in her mind and keep it up . . . keep up the excitement and slowly let things brew, the time frame to close becomes wider. All things being equal, this is generally the way things work. I don't think one is better than the other but you should be aware of it and catch the window.
Got you. The faster I escalate, the faster I need to close. Going slower gives me more time to close.
Quote:
Fine . . . you can't identify it but you know it stirs your emotions; for now this is all you need to know and accept. Accept ^this . . . and make it work for you.
I do think I need to use it... but... should I use it to the point that I actually take a look at a picture of my ex Facebook profile just before going out? Sounds a bit creepy to me.
Quote:
Here's a story:

There are a few professional charter fishing captains at the marina. These days, with the high price of fuel and the state of the economy, these guys aren't too busy. Every time I pass one particular captain, he's always asking me, "Hey, the fishing is great, I'll take you out ANY TIME you want. . . " - Well . . .the fishing is so great I can choose any time I want to go and he's got no clients? Is it any wonder I always see him drinking beers tied up to the dock?

The smart charter captains always tell you, "The fishing's been great! Unfortunately, I'm completely booked up for the next three weeks." - Which came first? The smart marketing ploy or his actual busy schedule? And really, I don't see this guy's boat ALWAYS gone from the docks either . . .

Do you get what's going on here? You're a fun, adventurous, International, professional guy with a busy schedule. The idea of waiting for a girl to set up a time/date with you doesn't make sense. Get in the habit of setting YOUR time/date with girls not only because this tends to peak their interest more but because this is who you are. This is what you're going to HAVE TO DO when you are stacked with back to back to back dates, managing academic commitments, and exploring professional/personal interests.

"Sorry I've been so busy . . . hey, how's Friday at 4 looking for you? . . . Ice cream!" - Sure, she might say she's busy . . . who knows? This is just part of the game . . . and if so, the rest of the conversation IS NOT a reschedule but a demonstration of 'how great the fishing has been." - Get it? Then you end the call by telling her, "I'll call you." - When? Who knows . . .you're a busy fucking man! LOL . . .
Okay. I need to be the one who ask them out, not the one who ask them if they're available to do something with me. Got you.
Quote:
Then you just continue getting numbers, calling up dates, going on dates, following through with wishy washy girls, setting up schedules, getting numbers, going to parties, going to school (remember school?), writing up business plans, going on dates, clubs, etc . . .
Yes I remember school. I've been in school all my life Kasabi! This is my last semester of college. I'm graduating this summer. Classes slowly begin. I'll write a bit less in my journal obviously. I'm not really worried about school. But I should start to think about after. I have the chance to have a good diploma allowing me to do basically everything I want. I should think about my dreams when it comes to work too.
Quote:
Everything is coming together:

1. Catch the window.
2. Be smart about your scheduling.
Let's do this.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:39 am 
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Finally done reading your whole journal! Damn it's so much already, but that's what it's done for. And the progression you have been making is unbelievable man, wow! Very impressive. That Japanese/Brazilian one sounds like she's really into you. I hope you can manage to go further with her. I have met a couple of them like that as well and in general they are pretty hot! Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 6:15 pm 
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Salut Daniel,

Brilliant idea to move to Brazil!

It looks like you've made some great progress. Keep up the good work.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:26 pm 
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Quote:
Fine . . . you can't identify it but you know it stirs your emotions; for now this is all you need to know and accept. Accept ^this . . . and make it work for you.
I do think I need to use it... but... should I use it to the point that I actually take a look at a picture of my ex Facebook profile just before going out? Sounds a bit creepy to me.
What I meant is for you to take the principles that make you emotional and then use it on the girls. There's nothing good or bad about this; it's just the way things are. You are in fact a popular and busy man . . . this is reality. You just got there but you will soon be very busy with social meetings. . . this is reality. You already have over 5 girls who will eventually range from good friends to possibly even a special girlfriend . . . this is reality. You are continuing to befriend more people . . . this is reality.

Your life is a fun and wild ride. Either these girls get themselves a ticket, wait in line, and hop aboard for the thrill or they choose to watch from behind the fence. Either way, your ride keeps on moving. This is your life, your dreams, your plan, and your schedule. It doesn't matter how special you or they 'think' they are, nobody gets to cut in line, reserve a front seat, or slow down the ride for 'their schedule'.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:49 pm 
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Quote:
Fine . . . you can't identify it but you know it stirs your emotions; for now this is all you need to know and accept. Accept ^this . . . and make it work for you.
I do think I need to use it... but... should I use it to the point that I actually take a look at a picture of my ex Facebook profile just before going out? Sounds a bit creepy to me.
No, you said is not you ex that pushes you forward, but her new boyfriend!

So take a look at your ex current boyfriend before going out to sarge!!! Or even better print his the profile picture and put him in you wallet, so it's CONSTANT MOTIVATION. If you do that, you'll probably f-close tonight!

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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