never went on a blind date before from an internet dating site

This chick is russian and only moved to my city less a year ago. While her written english is pretty good, her spoken english aint great, and it was a little weird TBH to meet someone I hadnt picked up and got digits from initially...


first date was a Tuesday, she had to work all day... She suggested a restuarant for coffee/ drinks.... I met here there an immediately switched venues to a place I know nearby thats a good icebreaker....

Its a large sports bar with mini golf inside the bar as well as a bunch of other stuff... I like to get a game of mini putt going where we both have a drink/ swig after every hole, and who ever loses at each hoe has to take an extra swig and divulge a funny embarassing story/ detail about themselves...

By the end of 9 holes... its usually a party... Transit to relaxing on couch / at table with light kino and build up of tension...

Now with this girl/ situation.... hadnt met her before, so she was driving... didnt want to drink anything at all...she had worked all day... so the SPAM was a bit stilted.... seems like I jumped the gun instead of doing the coffee thing to get a first meeting out of the way.

She emailed back sunday after I told her I was busy for the rest of the week/ weekend and this is what she wrote:


Hi there,
How are you? I just came back home.
You can call any time you want or send me emails. I usually go to bed pretty early, so don't feel bad if I don't answer.
I am not sure about us. It has nothing to do with you. You are a super good guy, as long as I know you so far.
But this way of meeting people is very new to me. And the problem is that it is an inverse way (or vice-versa, other way round ) from what we have in a real life, where you see a person first, get to know him and then start meeting with him.
I don't know you, and I am absolutely not sure if it will work out or not, if I like you much enough or not. I can't say that there was an 'instant click'. But I think maybe it is all because of this new way of meeting, website dating.
Maybe I should give a chance to myself and get to know you better. If you don't think you should try with me after all I just said, then it is ok.
We can go to a movie anytime, before Thursday.


so yeah I can either just move on or give it a try. maybe teh 2nd option since it was a bit wierd on a blind date like that. Focus more on generating attraction with body language even more due to the cultural barrier, but am wondering how I can generate some challenge in my reply to her without gong to far over her head (cultrually).

What I'd do now... tell her you're occupied that day. Make sure she found out a girl wanted to see you. Nothing serious but make her feel jealous. Also push a bit. Don't tell her to try or you want her so badly bla bla.

Just keep it open a bit.

Now if there is something nice going on such as a party at a friends place, bring her along. Don't make her feel like she's the centre of the universe. I mean, if she'd be the centre of the universe, why would she want you? You go to a party, and she's allowed to come along. The vibe will come. She has shown interest and shown you are a nice guy, but there's no attraction yet. Make her feel attracted to you, make her want you, fight over you.

Hope that helps a bit! I know that mind-state helped me a lot.

_________________
Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

yeah, I was thinking of waiting a another day to reply and then sayign i was busy before thursday (the days she is available)

I dont want to invite her out for the weekend, but I am working nights all next week till the following weekend... so realistically the next weekday night I could go out with here is like Monday march 14... that might be too long to keep any kind of interest...

almost thinking something like...

"you konw what I totally agree with you... felt a bit weird to meet someone for the first time like that... I have a ton of stuff to do this next week and a half, and sound like your a busy girl too... why dont I get back to you mid month and try a real first date now that we've met in person....

'that might be too long to keep any kind of interest...'

There doesn't really seem to be much interest anyway so don't worry about that. I'd wait longer if anything just to lose the 'weird' vibe. What you say next to me seems the right thing.

"you konw what I totally agree with you... felt a bit weird to meet someone for the first time like that... I have a ton of stuff to do this next week and a half, and sound like your a busy girl too... why dont I get back to you mid month and try a real first date now that we've met in person....

mention that you're ok with the 'weirdness' and say 'i think we should talk more first so that you feel more comfortable.'.

How do you feel about this chick? Did you like her or is she just another notch on the bedpost?

I've been on a few of these internet dates and have kind of come to the opinion that you either hit it off or you don't. They are weird first meets, some have went well and you have that spark and the vibing from emails, calls, texts continues in real life or you both just don't feel it and sometimes I've just never heard from them again ha!

So if you ain't that bothered about her, I would say just move on. No point flogging a dead horse.

I disagree about telling her you're with another girl. If she's already skeptical of this whole internet thing, it's not going to help to tell her your meeting a bunch of other women online. Normally, I like the tactic, but here it just doesn't seem to fit well. It might be the nail in the coffin.

And man, from that e-mail she sent it seemed like she needed a little nudge and that's all. The movie idea of hers sounds safe, boring, and not at all what you should do, though. In this situation, I think I'd just be honest. explain that you didn't know she wasn't drinking and the the venue you chose was kind of built on getting drunk, but if you two went and did a casual whatever, then you think it would be fun. Then, if it doesn't click there...well, some things just ain't meant to be

But you're more calibrated to this situation than I am. Good luck!