Before I start; I have not been on the forum for sometime as I'm in an LTR that is going well and believed I would not need to anymore(how I was wrong:)) The hooks ups before the my current GF and the LTR with her are due to this forum, so a big thanks!

I have always known that relationships have ups and downs and to this date my LTR has had a few downs that we have gotten through! How ever; I am increasingly realising I still could use advise from the community so here it is.

We were both on facebook in the study the other night, something we do together on occasion. My GF had a funny conversasion/status chat going with my best mate where they were paying each other out by posting music each might like. A friend of my best mate joined in on the convo, the friend I don't like a great deal. I don't hate him but I also don't class him as a friend due to previous social events. Sooo shortly after the convo said friend requests an invite to my GF, I told her I knew him. She then asked my mate if she should add him, which was when I stepped in and told her I wouldnt add him and that I didnt like him much. She continued to look through his photos and commented that he looks funny. My GF then asked if I would get annoyed if she accepted, realising that I may be coming across as jealous and AFC like, I said no it was her choice who she invited to her page (even though it annoyed me that she wanted to after I told her I didnt like him). She invites him and later we go crash out. Through out the night my distain towards the situation came out through my body language and she picked up on it, leading me to telling her that it did annoy me the next morning. I'd like to add that I have issues with facebook and its privacy, I only add people who are actual friends I know in person and I like.

I feel I didn't handle it in the best way and believe I can do better next time so any tips would be appreciated. For example; do I get over small issues and accept scenarios as this? Was my response AFC? Do I go against my rules for facebook?
Cheers, Rezzy.

depending on your reason for not liking him(which we don't know) it could be completely understandable for you to be annoyed. However showing that you are annoyed by it does make you seem a bit AFC. Facebook friendships aren't really all that threatening to your relationship unless she starts blowing you off and going to hang out with him, or just starts hanging out with him without you. But as long as it's just a friendship that exists online there isn't anything to worry about.

Don't worry too much man, it is just facebook. And I don't know what the problem is between you and the guy she added, BUT, I do see one problem with this situation: It doesn't seem like your girl respects you enough. I don't know the entire situation, so I don't want to sound judgmental, but the girls I choose for LTR are the type that respect me as a man. If I say I don't like a guy for whatever reason, she would trust my judgment and not ad him on facebook, it does not get to the point of asking if I mind. It goes both ways. If I was chatting with a girl and she said she didn't like her, I would not consider adding her as a friend just out of respect for my girl.

Every relationship is different, and I know I require more respect from the women I date than the majority of my friends/other guys. The problem is now if you bring it up, it is going to sound AFC.. If I had been in the situation and she asked "if it was okay", I would of just said: "Would you mind if I ad a girl you don't like?" and depending on how mature she is, she might have got the point.

The only advice I could give would be to explain it her that it doesn't bother you that she is talking to him, but it bothers you that she added him after you said you didn't like him, and use the example of adding a girl she doesn't like as comparison. At this point I believe it is the only thing that won't make you look too AFC. Good luck bro.

This is a sensitive issue.
I have been through two relationships in the last few months (we called each other bf/gf) where I was in a somewhat similar situation. My situations were actually worse because the guys were the girls' ex's and they were getting bolder and bolder with what they were posting and the girls' let them get away with it. I made the mistake of responding to a post. Even though what I said was funny and negged him, and would have went over well in person. The fact that I responded at all made it look to her as if I actually considered him as "a threat".

The fact that they are just 'friends' on fb shouldn't bother you. A lot of people just want to increase their 'friend count.'

The best thing to do is to just ignore them, and never discuss them with your gf. Unless they specifically post something with your name on it, calling you out, you shouldn't respond to or think anything of anything they post.

If you don't like him that badly, why have you got him as a friend in the first place?

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I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Cheers for replies.

Yeah that was the main issue, that she added him anyways. I do get I can't force my beliefs on someone else it does how ever grind my gears on how people I care about add randoms as friends and then the random can see photos of their entire life (family, kids, location etc) each to their own though, I suppose.

Good news is she apologised and saw my point of view. A couple of points though. I learned that she HATES it with a passion when I give her the cold shoulder i.e. she wanted to cuddle that night but I was annoyed and rolled over. I thought it was a freeze out but my god did shit hit the fan.

Anyways cheers again. Got another LTR issue brewing as I type this one that will most likely require another post! See you chaps on here in a couple days:)

Sounds like a lot of mental-emotional work over a non-issue.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Agreed on both our parts. I'm stubborn shes emotional.

ignore it , who cares about facebookfriends.

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“The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.”-Barney Stinson

Im curious as to why it would annoy you? Do you feel that he could possible steal her away?

It seems to have become a big deal over something that started so small. Try not to let these little things bother you, there are bigger issues to tackle in a relationship, but funny how the little things snowball and become one of those bigger issues. Don't sweat it and learn.

Side note: I was also in a LTR, about 1 1/2 years...in doing so, I got away from alot of what got me there...and in turn, I feel that I could have used more of what I learned after our break up. Again, lesson learned. Now, Im not saying, go out, meet girls, etc...but in the relationship aspect, there is still alot to learn...don't stop, if you hit a wall, ask here...it's best to get another opinion rather than react on emotion...good luck to you two!

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.