Ok so I've been talking to this girl through facebook for the past few months off and on. She was listed as in a relationship a few months ago but recently I guess she's not in one? Anyway she sent me a message on facebook last week saying she was up for chatting/texting anytime. So I asked for her number and she gave it and we been texting this past week. She's slow to respond at times. I've added a little humor at first but things were going good so I just became more and more of myself since I thought I could start being natural with her. The other day I asked her if she was phone shy or something and she said she just prefers texting vs. talking so that's why I haven't called her yet. I told her I'm the opposite. I have also gone at least half a day without texting her a few times too. We were talking about all the places we've been in the world and places I wanted to visit.

That is until last night, I don't know what possessed me to turn back into an AFC.

Her: (in response to asking where's she's been out of the country) just western Canada and Alaska if you count that since it's off the mainland lol

Me: (she already heard my overseas story) Never been there either, so I guess we've each been places that each other hasn't before I'm trying to think of a game to play to get to know each other but I've never done this over text. I guess we can just keep asking questions?

My thought at the time was that she would respond saying "ok cool, shoot" and I'd play 2 truths and a lie or something interesting to keep the conversation flowing. But she never responded back.

Me: (16 hours go by) Do you like any sports?


She was pretty responsive all that day until I sent that. I knew after 10 min of sending it...I fucked up. I was hoping I'd get away with it I don't know why I did that. I sent the text too fast without thinking about it. I really like this girl. How can I recover?

I guess just leave it be for now. She's suppose to be in my town this week for Spring break so maybe she'll get back in touch?

It's not lost per se...but u fucked up quite some hehe.

I would wait 2 days, and send her a funny statement, something with callback humor. Stay away from rapport seeking questions in texting. Be playfull and brief. And google text-game or something hehe

It wasn't the best move, but at the same time, you've built a lot of rapport already, and you've stated you prefer face to face.

If she's a bit reluctant to meet up but super keen to text, she has social issues, no doubt. Not to say she won't be awesome in some ways, but that issue has to be acknowledged and in some cases it can get in the way of properly having a good relationship.

So yeah maybe you messed up this one time out of 100 good texts, and it's because you're getting a bit sick of texting and you actually want to meet up. All good.

I can't tell you exactly what to say, but that's the angle you have to play from. Basically - without obviously guilt tripping her, you can make it known you'd rather move to face to face because you're losing interest. Just through your behaviour.

Thanks guys, It's been over 24 hours and still nothing since the "do you like sports" text I sent earlier this morning.

I don't want to send a 3rd text but I'm a little stumped. Everything seemed to be going well and she had IOI's up until her last text. Maybe I mis-interpreted and she doesn't want to lead me on?

Despite the good rapport, I really do need to amp up the humor and playful teasing a bit.

One thing is for sure, If/When she texts me back I'm doubling the time she took to respond to me and see if she responds in the same manner I did (2 or more texts in a row).

I'll definitely bring up the phone issue but I wanted to meet her in person first when discussing that.

For the meantime, I'm hoping she just left her phone somewhere for a day and I'll get a second chance but I guess I'll wait and see. I'll keep you guys posted.

Hey again she just responded (28 hours later)

Her: Lol yeah we can do that. I like watching soccer the most but I'm not really a big sports fan, but i'll watch football and baseball if everyone else is watching it. As for playing sports I love tennis even though I'm not very good at it. lol what sports do you like? oh and I'm not usually this slow at responding to texts, I usually respond right away, this week has just been insanely busy.


So the good news is that she responded and I got one hell of a text message (had to shorten it a bit)

I think lengthy text messages (her other ones were pretty long too) and her apologizing are definitely IOI's in my opinion and I'm not just being lead on(at least I hope so).

This is by far the longest text delay I've had with any girl (friends excluded)who seemed interested in me. Most girls are instant and start texting me if I'm too slow to respond

Still...it was a Saturday lol, what is she so busy doing on a Saturday especially since it's the start of Spring break. I was working all day on a school project and still had my phone by my side, it takes me 30 seconds to punch in a text.

I have the feeling she is full of BS and she's gaming me (playing hard to get):P
So I think I'll reverse her little game and wait until Monday to respond, what do you guys think?

She likes u. Call her up. Skip the rapport questions for the date. Just use alot of callback humor (for example, start off with "hey tennis-champ"). Make her laugh, ask her out, then stay on the phone for 5 more min.)

Good luck

And try to keep a flirty tone a bit more

Ok so all this just happened in the past 3 hours after me not texting her all weekend.


Me: hey tennis champ! I'm pretty busy through Wednesday but if your in town maybe we can meet up sometime. Let me know if your interested. PS I'm a huge football fan especially college football

Her: lol yeah I figured that you must be a huge fan since you go to (my school) and that would be cool if we could meet up. I'm not sure if ill still be here later this week though cuz one of my friends down there wants me to come back down so we can go to the beach. But I'll let you know

Me: (being AFC again) Ok, i'll make time if your leaving early, I have a midterm Wednesday but I'm totally free Wednesday night until Saturday

Her: ok, i'll keep you updated cuz i'm not really sure what I'm doing yet lol but def study for your midterm


I haven't texted her back and I won't until I hear back from her, but I'm starting to wonder maybe she's not all that interested? I know I slipped up again but I figure since we've been talking for awhile now I can slip in a little AFC here and there to keep her from thinking I'm not interested enough for her to invest ect. Like pushing her away then pulling her back in. I'm probably being stupid though.

Maybe she's not that interested after all? She's in my town all week at her home (supposedly not doing much) but can't make time? I have a feeling she's just playing hard to get. What do you think?

It's been 36 hours, is she waiting for me to reply or is the ball in her court? I figured since she said she'd keep me posted that I didn't need to text her back. Should I wait a little more or send her something?

u can text her, but not about the date..google some text-game and u might figure out what u should send.

Eh, I guess I'll just leave it be. I think I've shown enough interest, she said she'd keep me updated so I'll just leave it at that.

Good move?

Its all or nothing, if u choose to do that. If u text her, u can game her

If I text her I can also loose her, not sure what all else to say at this point. A funny joke? Perhaps I will tomorrow.

Maybe u talked qbout something with her that u can text about. For example if u talked about awefull traffic u are facing daily, u could text:

"NY traffic is BRUTAL!! I need a helicopter"

Funny statement, u wont loose any value for texting, because its no needy text. And it might get u a response from her..

Alright, just sent that one minus the NY part. Traffic actually is bad in my small town from 5pm to 6pm, just got out of it so it makes sense

Her: lol that's what (my town) needs! helicopters! haha but yea I know what you mean about the traffic. I use to pick my sister up from HS there and it always took forever.

Me: Yeah seriously for a small town, it gets crazy from 5 to 6 and this is coming from a guy use to DC rush hour. I am seriously considering buying a helicopter so I can just fly to school/work

Waiting for her reply...where should I take this?

Alright still no response 2 hours later. Ball is in her court. I'm seriously getting ready to just drop the ball and move on, she doesn't seem that interested, too many long gaps between texts, kills any coversation going. Said she'd get back to me yesterday on whether she'll still be in town after tomorrow. Despite her long engaging replies and emoticons and the fact she asked to start texting in the first place, I don't see any other signs of interest. I think she's just toying with me and likes keeping me on the table.

I'm worth a lot more than that, a lot more. Should I not send anything more and move on unless she gets back to me and does want to meet up? Am I being too impatient? I mean its halfway through the week so I don't think she's that serious about this whole thing.