Im going through the Blueprint Decoded and my confidence is building. However, I find my confidence is at a good level when I am dealing with strangers. Today I seen 3 girls I knew from high school, while I wasnt as nervous as I used to be, I wasnt nearly as confident as I was with strangers.


Anyone else go through this? I wasnt popular in high school and I went back to that frame when talking to them.

I can understand that, but you just need to think about how in most cases the popular kids in high school don't generally don't turn out to be successful adults. Or this was the case with most of the kids at my school. I was of average popularity, and now my success makes me much more confident around everyone, and even more so around old peers.

Good luck man

I HEAR YOU MAN. Im in the same boat. I think it all comes down to the fact that people who you have already known have set ideas/impressions about you whereas, being the aspiring PUA that you are, sarging HBs with a positive and confident frame comes very naturally. Especially, since you now know how to go about it the right way.

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Um...what is Blueprint Decoded?

It's a book/DVD from Tyler who is co-founder of RSD.
http://www.blueprintdecoded.com

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I don't get it. Why does anyone believe in Tyler Durden?? Have you not read "The Game"? Has anyone seen any social proof or pre-selection from the guy?? What is it with RSD? I have never seen Tyler pull a chick via youtube or any other media.

Basing the quality of the information on the person delivering it is an incredibly bad and common strategy. Especially when the information is second-hand or there is a lack of information.

Overall, the Blueprint Decoded is great stuff for a person interested in Beginner/Intermediate level training/knowledge (there is advanced stuff) about self-development regarding the concept "Inner Game" even if Carrot Top was the one delivering it. One of the major themes of Blueprint Decoded is that "the self is always coming through" which is really great....I was already very skilled at that and a side-effect is that even without knowledge about Tyler personally, his behavior in the videos SCREAMS that he's not nearly as successful as he claims, and that in much of the material he's delivering, he himself hasn't mastered it....he's just passing some of it on and hasn't internalized it. To his credit, he alludes to this in the videos a few times so he is consciously aware of at least some of it.

So what. Almost all of it is good stuff. There are a few parts where his own insecurities cause him to start doing unnecessary rationalizing and communicating self-destructive and/or limiting belief/frames....and there are a few places where he references other views or styles and spends time trying to show why he feels they aren't good in a very "walking on eggshells" manner and then starts rationalizing why he believes his specific view is more correct based incidents that he's seen and interpreted in his own way which is something he (correctly!) says is a BIG NO NO in other parts of the material.

Anyone who is very socially perceptive can clearly see what Tyler is really like inside and has a good idea of how successful he is socially. Youtube videos are not necessary, those people can see that he's talking to himself half of the time and when he goes over the top about his success it's obvious he's paying attention to see that he's being convincing.

Again, so what. He is a person who's evolving, and passing information on (yes, he's getting money too, as he well should) which is better than most people are doing. It's obvious that he is more in touch with his own motivations than 95% of the population. And, it isn't about comparing cock-sizes, it's about figuring out what you really want regarding women and then getting it.

I own the videos, ripped them so I could watch them on my portable video player, and cut out the not so useful bits *to me*. That left 20% (~4 hours) of rock solid quality material which is well worth the $600 especially since there are so few other products that focus on that specific type of information.

EVERYONE does this unless they become consciously aware of it happening as it's happening and starts correcting the behavior. It must be as it is happening (and preparing before, that's what training does) because "d'oh" later doesn't help....well, unless you plan to post in a forum and get help that is

Tyler does mention this....the one part I specifically remember is ROLES, but there are others. The basic idea is that once you get into a set role with a person, you'll tend to go back towards that role each time you see them. CONSISTENCY is part of this too. You already acted a certain way with those girls back in high school, and any new changes/maturing you've done sort of throw those girls off a bit because they haven't been there for the change, so, there will be a very very subtle thing that goes on where they act a bit odd/confused/attracted at some aspect of the "new you", you subconsciously notice the unusual reaction, stop the behavior (or even worse, apologize, not saying you did), slide back into older behavior, they shift back, and your roles/behaviors are more in line with what they are used to. You did resist a slide all the way back, GREAT!!!, but as you think back on it, you'll begin to become more consciously aware of the pressure you didn't notice at the time it was happening. Now that you're aware of it, the next time you run into them you'll keep more of your confidence, maybe even all of it!

So, relax. Again, EVERYONE does this when they run into girls they used to know when they were less confident (to some extent), you can get it to the point where it's not noticeable, and I'll compare it to how it will happen in the future now you're becoming more confident and tell you about a weird twist.

Girls you meet now will form a general unconscious "map" of your behavior that develops over several hours. It is a VERY good idea *at first* while you are learning to keep your first social interactions with women short, like an hour or so, whatever you feel is the amount of time where you are in your "A-game" (even 10 minutes, if that's what you're comfortable with) and then mysteriously have something you have to go do. The girl will then form a more solid view internally about your roles and what type of person you are. In the meantime, you're looking at the GOOD aspects of your behavior during that interaction....and I don't mean spending days, I mean having a checklist or something similar where you check off "indifferent", "playful", "environment comfort", etc.. (whatever your personal set of qualities you want is) right after the interaction. Lather, Rinse, Repeat, and this WILL become more and more part of your identity and you'll become more and more resistant to what happened when you ran into those girls you already knew. At some point in your future, it'll happen, you'll be aware of it, and automatically correct. Then, later, you won't even do that anymore, you'll be the same cool, confident guy wherever you go.

Here's the twist. Lets' say you meet a girl and she gets used to your developed maturity/masculinity and really loves it. Then, one day, you and her run into those girls from the high school. There will be a very complicated dynamic going on where you're really confident, but when you start talking to the other girls your ROLE/PERSONALITY with them will put unconscious (well, not unconscious now!) pressure on you to be less confident and generally act like those girls are more important than others.

Here is where it gets really murky and it's hard to say with any precision, but a generic situation like this is very common.

(if you were not aware of this, it's likely, now that you're aware, you can stop it from happening)

You are confident, your girlfriend is confident in you. She's happy.
You both run into the girls.
You subtly keep switching confidence levels depending on who's talking, your GF or another girl.
She unconsciously picks up on your "status" drop....which means (to her) those girls are higher status
Her emotions sound alarms "he's more interested in them than me, THREAT!" (bc they effect you emotionally more than her)
She starts acting odd, maybe a bit biatchy, you wonder WTF did I do, they're just friends?
etc etc etc

As you become more and more aware of how you are behaving, noticing subtle changes in your behavior, and getting rid of it, this won't happen, and even an opposite thing will start to happen. When you're confident in all situations, the above scenario, would look more like.

You are confident, your girlfriend is confident in you. She's happy.
You both run into the girls.
You are the prize, you are not effected by the girls.
Your girlfriend perceives that you are unaffected, her status is secure, she's friendly with the girls, and actually secretly pleased that she attracted an awesome guy.
She farks your brains out when you get home because when a woman is with a guy who doesn't play the status game, and is always at 100%, she feels like a winner every time she sees you interacting with other people. She has an Alpha Male.

When I don't know a girl, usually I assume the best in her and that makes me be very open.It also happens when I have non judgmental friends, I am "confident"=I speak openly,put my personality ahead. These girls you say you know, you probably assume they have a bad image of you or something.

It's so true.

I can talk to girls I don't know easier, but if I use the same techniques on girls I already know from before I learned the PUA stuff, I freak out.
It happened to me today.

I guess, it's because they know you already, you' aware that they see us as an AFC, so for some reason or another, you end up being an AFC with them.

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There is a major issue with this:

EXTERNAL "techniques" are helpful in that they are like training wheels while you're on your way to figuring everything out more easily INTERNALLY, but, you have to work directly on INTERNAL also or you'll always have a nagging feeling that you're not genuine and women will pick up on this.

When you're talking with girls you already know and use some (external) techniques, a part of your mind will be going (not exactly, but something like) "aw crap, they'll see that i've got training wheels on my bicycle, i can't fool them, they'll think i'm even more of a loser, blah blah blah". This isn't much of a problem with new women because they didn't see your previously horrible bike riding.

This will pass in time when you also work on your INTERNAL attitude, see below:
Those bolded parts are the important bits. You believe that they see you as an AFC till the end of time, and YOU make it true by playing the role of an AFC. It's not them, it's not what they believe, it's what you believe they believe that causes you to freak out and go AFC.

Let me repeat it "it's what you believe they believe"....you're making it up in your head. You need to work on getting rid of that and I'll tell you what works for me.....you'll have to do it in your own way of course.

I know that any woman I am interacting with is missing out if she doesn't find me attractive. I have worked on my maturity, character, and understanding women skills, etc... so I know that this is true. I only compare myself to myself yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, etc... so I'm always winning as long as I'm improving myself in general. So, I naturally behave in a way that gives women the feeling that they want to be around me.

I'm not competing in the superficial value system that 99%+ of people (in the USA, this is less true in other countries) are playing and racing against each other in. I only race against my self so it's impossible for me to behave AFC anymore because AFC traits are about a guy thinking that his own value depends on how any particular woman reacts or feels about him.

This will help:
An example quality would be that I will not under any circumstances get angry with a woman and get into any more than a joking type of conflict. In any emotional conflict you've ever been in that escalated without someone being mature and stopping it, SOMEONE HAD TO LOSE, ALWAYS. It's not about what was being argued about anymore, it's about winning. So, whenever a woman "invites" you to getting tangled up in an angry battle, say something like "this doesn't work for me" if you know her, or even just stare blankly if you don't. This is an extremely attractive deep quality to women because it's something they cannot do, they all "lose it" once in a while and look up to people who do not.

No matter what a woman says about you not getting into these battles, SHE WILL RESPECT YOU because you had control of yourself and she didn't. Women also feel safe after they see this a few times (you will get tested from time to time) because guys who maintain their composure won't beat the crap out of women or yell nasty names at them.

When you concentrate on mastering qualities like the above one for a while, rather than worrying about what women think of you, the thought "i wonder if they think I'm AFC" doesn't fit into your reality.

There is hope. You can do it. It's just that it takes concentrated effort and time which in today's "gimme now gimme now!" society is very rare and you'll become a very rare and desired male.

NOTE: It is NOT about being better than anyone else in even the slightest way. Trying to be better than someone else is still very bad because you'll be afraid of failing or that someone will "find you out". The guys who are the best Olympic athletes DO NOT COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THEIR MINDS. The reason why they've become winners is because they completely focus on doing their personal best instead of worrying about being better than someone else.

Yeah, I'm All That. Thanks for your advice, and words of wisdom.

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