Ey all,

My first topic on this forum, so I hope I post it right. I'm Dutch, so my English might suck.

Last weekend I went to this great dubstep party in my hometown in Holland. As I was "wobbling" around, I noticed a cute girl I know from school.

We talked for a couple of minutes and she was telling me that she met a guy that night who was nice and they exchanged phonenumbers to have diner some day. Scruffy looking guy, who looked like a bum... So my response was: "Well I don't even got your phonenumber!?" with a big smile and dramatization "I also can take you out you know". She laughed, got her phone and we exchanged numbers. She said we should go out someday and get to know each other better.

So that all went great. But now the actual asking her out. It's been a couple of days now since the party and I'm thinking of sending her fun text message for asking her out. I thought up with the following line:

- Ey ...., you got your agenda nearby/with you?

If she responds with "why so?" or something like that, I can respond with I want to take her out for a drink to get to know her better.

Is this a good/funny/direct text message to ask her out? Can I expect some unwanted backfires? Would love to hear some advice

Gr. FJ

Hey, im from the netherlands as well, but ill keep it in english for the other ppl on the forum here. but lets start on ur text-game..

okay,so u are about to make the biggest rookie mistake:

NEVER go for a meet up right away!

u want to get her in the right mood, and then casually ask her to meet you somewhere. do NOT ask her on a 'date', but go for a meet-up. Dont take her out for dinner or whatever, thats for boring afc's.

this is what u do:

1. send her a funny text, with only purpose to see your name in her phone and smile, for example:

"Amsterdam traffic is BRUTAL! I need a helicopter"

Or anything that fits the context.

2. depending on her reply send another statement, or low-investment question. Also use callback-humor as much as possible. If she said she was good at math when u met, and u negged her for being a nerd, text her something like "hey nerd/dork, ......". This will remind her of the day she met u and fell for u.

3. Stay out of rapport seeking questions as much as possible, just keep it playful and brief.

4. keep control of the tempo. practise will teach u that. sometimes its better to send back within 5min, sometimes 5 hours. If she texts u something weird, or a joke that could be misinterperted, take ur time. Make her check her text, to see if she typed anything weird.

5. when u go for the meet up, dont end the texting there. make sure the conversation ends on a high note (e.g. "hey btw, do u remember that guy in (club)? Didn't u think as well he looked just like (celeb/anyone she knows)?")


6. if u got her to agree to meet u up next week, keep 'pinging' her. Every few days, just send a funny statement. If she doesn't reply, ur value doesn't go down much, because u aren't asking her questions, or investment. If she does reply, u can keep her thinking about u for the rest of the day. (remember, when u are texting after 22 pm, mid-week, she will prolly go to sleep with u in her mind. this builds up a strong emotional connection. carefull, it can happen with you as well hehe).


But i guess the basic principle is:

Get her in the right emotional state, before you ask her for a meet-up.



There is a lot more, but u should google some

Um, to answer your question; you don't. You don't ask someone out via a text message when you have the option to call, and you don't call when you have the option to speak face to face.

If you ask her out on a date in a text when you could have calked, 9 times out of 10 you will simply not get a reply. Women want to see confidence above all else, and hiding behind text messages is the opposite of that.

As above. Just ring her, ask her how's been her day (react to that) then just ask her casually to go out for a drink next day in the afternoon.

Important, don't arras her with phonecalls...


Personally I am going to call this girls back again, because I forgot at what time we were suppose to meet.

_________________
"Faster than the speed of love" hahaha!

I disagree. I am owning text game SPAM, and have girls getting attracted to me over text like crazy. Not only i build the attraction to a hihger lvl, i also build comfort over text, and get her used to texting with me. I dont get flakes anymore.

A phone-call is a larger social barrier for the girl. Texting has no pressure for her, she laughs and thinks about me all day, because a text conversation can take up a whole day.

Sure u can call her up, after solid text game, and have a nice chat, and say that u 2 should meet up to do w/e, but girls dont mind when being done over text.

U can ping her the day of the meet up, to start her getting the rght emotional state for tonght (so she is gonna feel she will have fun tonight).


Guys, girls love texting

This is pretty good, just a little adjusting depending on the type of person you are. The rest of the replies were pretty gay.

Hey don't get me wrong, text game can be good. Some guys are better than others at it, and some girls are "text conversation girls". Other girls will be like "WTF just pick up the phone if you want a chat!". I'd say about less than half the girls I'm currently in contact with are "text conversation girls" - that's how they like to interact so I give it to them.

But in the context of the original post - think about it;

This girl was getting multiple numbers that night, she obviously doesn't have a "social barrier" with talking, and if he texts, after TWO days since they first met and had a quick exchange? He's going to be nothing more than a string of letters to her.

"Which guy out of the hundred numbers I gave out this week is this?"

The one who is crazy funny and doenst text her what the other guys text "hey, last night was fun, we should do this again. Are u free this weekend"


Still, i think he should initiate contact through text, and when he is texting with her at night, then call her up, so she cant flake. Cause it doesnt sound they had an amazing connection she will feel right away once she see's his number calling. If its been 2 days, even bigger are the chances she does not feel the connection anymore.

Imo, better build attraction and comfort first with texting, before you call her up.


But the original poster aint responding, so im curious if he will ever read our opinions

You make a good point, we agree the buzz has probably dropped, and I like the technique of calling WHILE already texting so you know she's there, I've done it myself a few times recently.

Not only u know she is there, u brought her back in the emotionql state of the last time she saw u, which makes her want to pick up that phone

Also a very good point.

I am always pushing the "Just make a goddamn phone call" angle because too many people are always "what should I text next?" and for some reason a phone call never enters the equation - hell I just made 2 myself, set up some dates - but I've built up a rapport already with these 2 and they do already want to answer the phone.

I must admit there are probably situations where it could be better to at least start out with a text.

Here's what I suggest. This is a hybrid between texting and calling:

Text her something fun and flirty at around noon. You want her to be reminded of you. When she texts back, reply with something witty and tease her. Do not have a full conversation over text, so make your texts short (like 20-40 characters). You have the full conversation on the call.

Exchange 2-3 texts and make sure she is the one that sends the last text. Yes, leave her hanging. Then after a few hours give her a call, preferably after dinner time. That is when you can chat her up for a few minutes and then ask her out for a cup of coffee or tea.

Good luck!

And let me know what happens next.

_________________
Andy Yang
Learn Simple Steps To Successful Dating and Attraction at http://www.effectiveattraction.com