Hi Folks,

First time poster - but need rapid assistance. So there's this chick at work (married) - get on really well - lots of deep conversations etc. So on a night out lots of flirting which ended up in an opportunity to move in for the kill. We started kissing - lots of chemistry - but she put the brakes on. I played it really cool and the next day in work we went for coffee to chat. Everything was really OK - but then I made the biggest mistake - I told her I really liked her. Well, the response i got was not ideal - she said that she felt bad 'cos she didn't want to hurt me .....F**K! My strategy was to continue to play cool and be relaxed so that she didn't feel like I was going to get all clingy.

Anyways - so she sends me txts to ask if I'm Ok and stuff - but it sounds like one of two things - she's scared to screw up her own relationship and so won't move further (Understandable) and doesn't want to admit to herself that she likes me or - the alternative, she's just not that into me and wants to be friends...OK so how to get to the bottom of this..

I figure my best strategy is to play active dinengagement and try to get her to chase but I feel like I need something a bit more powerful. Txt works well with her but again reluctant to be too 'available'....how do I get her to want me...??

Cheers,

Lor

Next her.

Seriously ignore her - don't feed into her need for texts. If it will happen it will, but until then go fuck ten other women and let her realize that you're the prize.

She though you were cool enough to make out with, and obviously didn't feel remorse over it - so if she is DTF it will happen. And if the situation will present itself again be open to it. But don't, don't, don't chase it.

Desparation is a scent that is unattractive to women

Peace

_________________
_______________

MDawg

How about go find a single woman?

This is why guys shouldn`t game chicks on the job. Now both of you are gonna be uncomfortable at work all because you misread this woman`s intentions. So she kissed you, big deal. She was just looking for an ego boost. She may or may not have been attracted to you, no amount of game is going to make her leave her husband for you

No harm as long as it doesn't go messy. But yes, you need to date other women. In your case there is nothing wrong. Ask her for advice related other girls you have been dating/or planning to date. That should ease off the situation. No texting...

are you ok?.
No!...not until.. (something funny / unrelated to the event) effectively u say as if you did not mean it or you dint even consider that as something important.

Now, step2. I presume you do catch lunch sometimes ...
IM her: lunch?..
She: Umm.. yes / no.
IM her: Lol. I have a date tonight. Kinda nervous.. tell her why..
She: Sure..

Then it will flow. Huge DHV to discuss about your dating experiments with your married colleague. I used to bounce my ideas with a colleague of mine. Married. The idea was to learn female perspective. Eventually she was moaning in my bed. haha. Did not expect that.

You have major oneitis for a married girl. The best advice I can give you is to hang around here and learn some things, because you need to. I would not recommend starting ANY relationship with a woman you work with if you value your job. If you work at Burger King, then go for it. But good jobs are hard to find, and nothing makes work more awkward than a failed relationship/friendship. SO, unless you are planning on taking her away from her husband and marrying her, I would move on.
I avoid married girls like the plague. I have made my mistakes, and found out that nothing will get you dead faster than a pissed off irrational husband (had a gun pulled on me). So let's recap: You are likely to ruin your friendship with this chick, make work uncomfortable and possibly have to deal with her husband who will know where to find you, for this girl. Best case scenario is you two fall in love and get married and her husband let's her go without a fight. Think about it with something other than your little head.

If you still want to try an get her back, which you MIGHT be able to do, pickasso had some good advice. Nothing will get her interest back faster than finding out other girls are interested in you. I know this post may have sounded harsh, but sometimes you need another perspective on things, and I have seen this scenario in real life, and it has NEVER ended well for either person.

qtf.

It sounds like you are getting some good advice on this tread.

1. Don't game girls at work. I keep fucking that up...but I can't help it.

2. Don't game married chicks. You REALLY fucked up by telling her you liked her. One reason why I say don't bang married chicks has less to do with morals and more to do with what can happen.

Boyfriends will be pissed and want to fight you.

Husbands on the other hand, will kill you.

Go bang some single chicks...it makes life easier...

_________________
The Bachelor's Code by Tyler. Check it out...
http://www.thebachelorscode.com/