Did the hardest thing..(just a story)



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:56 pm 
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A few weeks ago my ex put a quote saying, "If she's amazing she won't be easy. If she's easy she won't be amazing. If she's worth it you won't give up. If you give up you're not worthy." Which I'm 100% sure it's towards me. I left her (she cried a lot), came back 2 months later. It didn't go very well at all, she'd show signs of still loving me but eh. I began to lose my mind and started to chase. Obviously I pushed her away, she ended up blocking me, etc. She put that quote up recently though.

I deleted everything she sent me and everything I sent her. Deleted all the chat logs, uninstalled my messenger, etc.

On my messenger I left this status: The hardest thing in the world is not loving someone that loves someone else or someone that doesn't love you anymore, but letting go of the one you love. If you can do that, you're the strongest lover a person can have. (so if she ever unblocks me, she'll see it.) And I changed my setting to not being able to receive offline IMs.

I've said to her that I'm moving on countless times but this time I got rid of all of it.

I've been emailing her everyday for a long time. Out of all my emails. on one day when I told her I was going to do something special for V-day for her, she responded with, "Your lucky because I'm getting a new phone and WON'T have this email anymore (:" I sent her the Valentine's day thing where I tried doing the sweetest/cutest thing I could possibly think of and it was my last try.

This is a situation where the girl loves you but shows otherwise 99% of the time.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:58 pm 
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Well, you left for a reason...my question to you is, why do you want her back?

I've read some of your posts, you are a smart guy...you should know that once you break it off with someone...the possibility of mending that hurt is almost impossible. You left...she hurt and if and when you fight...you better believe that will enter her mind...and now you want to tell her...It's ok? Girls react with emotion and follow their heart but once hurt, it's hard to get them to see "otherwise" now. I hope you can turn it around!

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:15 am 
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Why I want her back. Shit man. Us guys aren't as good at knowing our feelings. When I was with her, I would always leave her come back later after arguing when there was a bad time and she'd say, "When I'm mad I still talk to you but you run from everything." I left her because it wasn't going very well and I got that feeling inside of me of hurting her on purpose..I told her I found someone else but I actually didn't. I just felt like fuck it. Then 6 weeks later it hit me like boom, I love this girl. And during that whole time I was gone, I was mostly focusing on how to be a real man (alpha male) as opposed to studying game. And I know I didn't come back just because I missed her because I chased her for 2.5 months straight.

I don't feel entirely guilty, however. When I read through all the chat logs and stuff I saw her bad parts too. We were both very stupid trying to make each other jealous all the time, etc. She'd be saying things like, "I regret making out with my ex" a longg time ago when we were together. Then she said she was sick in bed instead after she saw I was mad at her. We can't trust each other.

When I came back she'd say things, "We liked each other before because we didn't know our flaws." And that sounds as if she's talking out of her ass 100%. I basically just broke her through leaving her. It's not that she doesn't love me or hate me, she's just stuck in a limbo.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:02 am 
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nyseto,

i have been in a very, very similar situation. almost exactly where you are right now. drop me a pm sometime if you need advice. or at least keep us posted on the way it turns out.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:31 am 
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I've done this stuff. However, let me tell you the harsh truth as I now see it.....

NEEDY DRAMA QUEEN BEHAVIOR = BAD MENTAL HEALTH

First you broke up with her, and there was a reason of some kind. What the reason is doesn't even matter anymore.

First mistake, was letting her suck you back in.
Second mistake was starting to play her game , being dramatic yourself.

You started on the right track deleting everything, but then you put that totally mushy manipulative status message, bleah !

You can keep doing this until one of you is throwing pebbles at the window at 3 a.m. crying, or you can wake up.

You are doing this to yourself.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:25 am 
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Dude, you've done more than enough to show her that you're sorry for whatever you did and you want her back. Its not even about you being worth it anymore. This is manipulative. "If you want me, you have to grovel and beg me to come back." What kind of shit is that bro? I know you love her and all but do you really think that someone that loves you back would have you beg like this and for this long? I don't see love here bro, this is a ego or power thing. I couldnt love someone that wants me to beg for month's for their forgiveness. And the same goes the other way, if i can felt comfortable with telling a woman to beg for me back at all, i dont respect them or love them, it would be more spite than anything. Think about it man, i know its tough but let her go.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:28 am 
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I know right, I always keep coming back to the natural fact that: Neediness does not equal success. So much for all the poetic love sayings, the bottom line is that when you don't act needy anymore it makes you be missed. :?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:35 am 
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Quote:
the bottom line is that when you don't act needy anymore it makes you be missed. :?
You answered your own question!

Forget her, she's gone, and she's only ONE out of the 3.4 BILLION women on earth. NO girl is worth that much emotional investment in. Go out there and start meeting new people.

You should really consider my offer I sent you via PM. I think I could really help you.

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FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:20 pm 
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I've been emailing her everyday for a long time.
If you do nothing else, break this daily habit. It is a form of behavioral addiction: it is not getting you any results but it continues the cycle of emotional pain you experience.

Best regards, and good luck.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:07 pm 
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Quote:
A few weeks ago my ex put a quote saying, "If she's amazing she won't be easy. If she's easy she won't be amazing. If she's worth it you won't give up. If you give up you're not worthy." Which I'm 100% sure it's towards me.
Several of my friends have had this quote in their status at one point; several more have "liked" the facebook page with this quote... sometimes it's just a damn quote.

Quote:
This is a situation where the girl loves you but shows otherwise 99% of the time.
This is the problem most guys have- they're SURE that the girl likes them, but just won't show it. If she's not responding to you, if she's not "showing" she loves you 99% of the time, SHE DOESN'T.

I know it's a hard pill to swallow; it's not always about you. From what I gather, this girl is not in love with you. It is over.

Do yourself and this poor girl a favor- stop e-mailing her, and move on.



-Roz

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NOTE: I'm taking a break from the site, and hence will not be responding to any messages! :)


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