| As I find myself in another LTR, I was just browsing through this Relationships board and realized that just about all the topics here were started by someone asking advice. Well, here's an offer -- the best stuff I've learned about relationships since I started learning game in late '08 / early '09. This is from my own studies, trials and errors, plus things I've learned directly or indirectly from my teacher Achilles, with whom I've been studying for about 6 months.
1. If you're asking for advice on how to get her back -- sorry dude, what you're actually asking for is advice on how not to lose the next one. Reframe it this way, realize you lost her, accept and be ok with this fact, take the advice to heart, and become a better man for the next girl. (This is, ironically, the only way that she'll ever come back anyway.)
2. Take a Long view of things -- of the relationship, and of life. What can seem like a major setback now becomes just a small bump on a long road. Learn to be unreactive, and you'll demonstrate your emotional strength to her, which is VERY important to a woman's biology in finding a mate. Your number one priority is survival... which means that you will survive with or without her. Period.
3. ALWAYS have something in life MORE important than her -- She is attracted to your passion for what you do in life... not your passion for her. Any attractive girl over 18 will tell you just how weak it is for guys to tell her that she's his "everything" *gaaaaaaaggg* With or without her, remember. You're doing your thing; she's along for the ride.
4. ALWAYS Give Value -- Some guys think that once they're past comfort or seduction with a girl, that they have to be nice in order to make her feel good. Wrong. You must give her value. Being nice is icing for her. Keep DHV'ing. Keep showing you're preselected, keep assuming leadership roles, keep protecting your loved ones, keep pumping your survival value, and you will keep the girl. Being with a high-value guy makes her feel good. Being nice comes in a distant second to this. (And that is how asshole guys sometimes get the girl... and how by doing the opposite, long-term boyfriends and husbands open the door for her to cheat.)
5. LEAD, LEAD, LEAD -- You are the man, like it or not, son. That means, if there is a decision to be made, you decide. If you decide to let her decide, give her two or three choices max. Women generally do not like to be made decision-makers in relationships. It makes them uncomfortable. Ask her preference if you'd like, or sometimes she'll tell you... just note the difference between preference and decision. Leading also refers to her emotional state -- she will follow your example. If you want her to relax, be relaxed.
6. Let Go and be a real person with her -- As my experience grows, I get closer and closer to understanding how to be a True Alpha Male. One of my sticking points over the last few months used to be trying to "game" her too hard, even after sleeping with her, and coming off like an asshole. When you're in comfort, you both should be comfortable with each other, and this comfort should grow. Being around a guy who is always cocky/funny is not comfortable for her and is a big red flag. Be real about who you are and about your expectations of the relationship. (Know what you want and never lead her on)
7. Learn about how she works -- Want to keep her? Learn about her. Read some evolutionary psychology and biological male-female dynamics, pick up "My Secret Garden" to learn about how women fantasize, sweep the internet for knowledge on her menstruation/ovulation cycle. By understanding how her biology responds to its environment (including your behavior) and how it changes during her cycle, you will be LIGHT YEARS ahead of that AMOG boyfriend who gets jealous when she gives other guys IOIs, or that AFC who can't understand why tonight she wants to be fucked like an animal when a couple weeks ago she was begging him to be sensitive.
8. Teach her about social dynamics -- What better way to demonstrate authority in some part of her world?? Just make sure that your Frame is unshakable. You believe that you're a better person and that you're making her a better person because you study pickup, haters be damned. I've seen many girls get very, very interested in the subject. If you understand how to handle her, and she knows that you understand how to handle her, as well as any other girl, she will accept you as an authority on relationships -- including yours.
9. Blow her mind in bed -- Know where and how to touch her, how to turn her on, how to tease her, how to make her come, how to make her make you come. The more replication value (sex) she gives you, the higher her investment in the relationship. The better the sex, the more she wants it, the higher her investment, the easier it is for her to stay rather than leave.
10. Have FAITH -- meaning believe in yourself, believe in the theory, believe in your application of the techniques, believe in HER biological responses to your game. If she doesn't respond to your text right away, something important came up or her phone died. If she's resisting escalation, no problem, build more comfort. This goes along with taking a long view of things. When you know you will win, it's impossible to lose.
In my life, I've had a lot of girls, and I've lost a lot of girls. Some lasted weeks, some lasted months, some lasted years. One thing that's always certain is that I keep learning and keep getting better, and will continue to do so until the day that I die. Know this and you're already halfway there, man.
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Live Your Truth.
Last edited by Royalty on Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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CHAT
, something that women call 'the one'
