"Good to know you have an OFF button!"

"So I can put you on stand-by anytime I want?"


Or something like that?

"I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms"

5 comments and 13 likes.

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You can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent - Jake Green

i hope this thread fill up with tips

"Why do i keep my socks on? Cuz there's no sexy way to take them off"

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Why ask for permission when you can ask for forgiveness?

Why do girls only want sex from me?
Worked great for me yesterday as sad as it sounds.

Heres a couple I created a few minutes ago. Positive results. 1 number.

-Every other guy wants to date a model. I would rather date a barista, so I can get the perfect cup of coffee in the morning when I wake up.

-Why can't you have a friendly conversation with a girl, without her trying to get into your pants?


Will submit more as I think them up.

I don't know whether this is really a DHV, but it entertained me.

"That exciting moment when someone hot likes your status"

I had like 7 hot girls like it within minutes, I then commented saying

"Yup, it's a shame I didn't get that exciting feeling with this status.."

Half of them started qualifying themselves to me.

I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up everyday in the same clothes, runs around in sewers, and collects coins. To buy what? MUSHROOMS?

I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, and now about to marry my dreams

Live in the moment because every second you're angry, is a second of happiness you CANT get back

I know right from wrong. because wrong is the fun one

Relationships are cool BUT I'm better off single. I'll never let me down.

statuses only give you good dhv if alot of people reply.

to maximize replys you can say universally agreeable someting like "best night ever!!!" or "solo mission, never fails!" or "time to have me some fun!" you get the idea.

I don't know if you can take this as DHV but I put "Every girl goes though a photography phase. True story."

And almost instantly 3 HB's commented. The end result was 21 comments and 13 likes.

Salut!

"God, you could create a nice bike from that rib..."

Salut!

Surielx.

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An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
Personal thread: lr-s-surielxs-crazy-adventures-vt79972.html

The news just said, "50 Wednesday, 55 Thursday, 53 Friday" Who the hells birthdays are these and how do I get mine up?



Seems ridiculous but it got I think 8 replies in the first minute and a shitload of likes.







I put this up last night after watching the news and it ended up going 128 comments deep. It was only like 5 people that commented and liked but this morning I had a few conversations from girls texting me about it.

"Every night on the news there's a new story about some guy killing his wife or some woman killing her husband, I just don't get it, I really don't. I mean, buy two cruise tickets and feed the other to the sharks during the cruise. No body, no evidence, and spending the remainder of the cruise single kicks ass, wake up people it ain't rocket murder.

Salut!

"A perfect morning? I wake up, dress up, drink a cup of coffee and get back home"

the word "back" is the key in here.

Salut!

Surielx.

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An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
Personal thread: lr-s-surielxs-crazy-adventures-vt79972.html

Not having a lot of buddies but still these did pretty good:

Often, love is mixed up with the feeling of fear for being all alone in the world.
12 hours, 5 replies and 9 likes.



if you think a girl is a total biatch, it means shes a biatch to you and you should try to understand where you went wrong.

24 hours, 29 replies, 34 likes Some friends of friends even send me a msg about it, added me and joined the discussion.



That awkward moment when you drink your bacardi-coke and you realize you still had to add the coke. #aintthatthetruth

5 reactions, 4 likes


I'm gonna name a beer called responsibly, so the other companies advertise for me ... "Drink Responsibly"
8 comments, 12 likes


That awkward moment on the street when a person and you walk to eachother and both don't know if to pass eachother on the left or right. #aintthatthetruth
8 likes, 3 comments


you look a bit like a Chinese friend of mine, Ug Lee.
5 likes, 4 comments



Also some are directly/remotely inspired by www.twitter.com/lord_stewie Most awesome twitter account EVER!

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Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

"your so vain you probably think this status is about you"


"you can tell alot about someone by their car. for instance, if its in a ditch its a female haha"

_________________
Why ask for permission when you can ask for forgiveness?