Hi Tweeby, thanks for your help. I should try to be more ballsy and direct indeed... I'll do a direct session in Brazil, no doubt. You are also very right about the de-sensitisation... I have to practice more.

Thanks for following the thread.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Yeah I'm really happy about that. That's nice improvement. Of course, my goal is to be able to open anyone anytime, but I'll need more practice for that!
True, I still have some liminting beliefs about myself. My inner game still lacks constitency. But you're also right about something, I won't get the first crucial success without trying. Your transition from the conversation to the #close is smooth. I wish I've done that yesterday. On the other hand, I really want to master the conversation thing before thinking about closing...
Thanks for this insight. I do think I'm a good person but like Kasabi and Tweeby, you're right... I have to be more direct, more ballsy, more flirty.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 35: fighting tiredness.
The return of the old good AFC thoughts.

I wanted to go a little further today and tackle new issues.

Addressed issues:
- Linearity in conversations
- Inability to introduce myself
- Inability to engage conversation with total strangers (non-employees)
Issues categories:
- LACK OF EXPERIENCE/SKILLS
- LACK OF CONSISTENCY
- LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Solution: approach.

Strategy:
I'm changing the opener so it can better work on non-employees HB. I'll use the "gift" opener: I notice her shoes, scarf... and ask her where she bought it. This opener is based on my ability to make spontaneous remarks. From this starting point, I'll try to hold the conversation by:
- introducing myself: "hum... sorry, I'm asking all these questions, I did not even introduce myself"
- make a comment on how she behaves: "oh, you're cool..." "are you okay?" (if shy)

Goals:
Open 3 sets (among which 2 non-employees) and introduce myself or make a comment on how she behaves.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I opened 6 sets at the mall today. I only managed to sleep 5 hours last night (reading material) and I was damn tired. I was unable to focus, unable to control my mind. I did two interesting interaction though.

H&M cutie.
She was the first set. I wanted to perform the scarf opener to warm-up a little. She was beautiful and had a wonderful ass. HB8,5. I opened, she took me to the accessories. I was unable to trigger a switch in the conversation topic. At one moment, she started to scratch her pants on her left thigh while speaking to me. I thought about saying something like: "wow, hold on, what are you doing?" but did not say anything. At the end, she told me "I'm sorry sir, maybe you should try in another store", I wanted to say "Sir? how old are you to call me sir?" or "why are you so sorry, you helped me a lot, most of the other employees would have...". Again, I did not say anything. I was not thinking clearly.
=> this is not a result...

After 2 other weak approach in other stores, I decided to come back home to clear my mind. When I came back, I was in a better state of mind... but again, I could not focus on my task and little by little, my inner game started to show its weaknesses. I started to think. Think about the past, think about the future. I felt like Marty McFly.

Me trying to calm down.
I knew what was happening. My mind was tired too. I saw myself having compulsive thinking, I kept fighting but it came again and again. I could not focus enough to stop all that. I even surprised myself thinking shit like "I just want to be love"... Come on. That was ridiculous but I was unable to pull myself together. I was too tired to fight it. And then... guess who comes back in my mind? with all the Valentine day ads around me? Yeah, you guessed it. I was a fucking scared kid this afternoon, but I was willing to fight.

Hot in here.
Opening total strangers appeared impossible to me with what was happening in my head. I was not even able to focus on the moment, how could I have made a spontaneous remark to open a set? So I went to another store and did the good old scarf opener. My game was weaker than ever... I did not let her break the weird silence... Anyway, she took me to the scarfs, I checked, I left: " Okay thanks anyway. Good luck! Especially since it's damn hot in here". She laughed: "thank you, that's nice of you"... I left.
=> not a result! I left although I had the damn transition to another topic: "how long have you been working here, I mean... did you get used to this heat?"

Results:
None.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the strategy.
I think the opener was good but since I did not try it on strangers... I can't say nothing here.

On the Game.
- Being tired is enough to f*ck me up since my inner game is "still in development"
- Inner game is crucial: the girls were clearly responding differently than yesterday.
- Meditation is the only exercise that can help me control my mind and effectively stop compulsive thinking.

Next steps.
I need to repeat this exercise until I achieve my goals. Yet, I'm leaving in 4 days... I think I won't have enough time unfortunately. I'll post something about Brazil soon: which strategy for day game? social game?...

Questions to move on.
None. I'm too tired. I'm going to sleep.

PS: Don't worry about me guys. That was just a little weak day, a good night and I'm back on the damn horse.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

The 'hand burn/different language response' was a metaphor(perhaps a poor one) for how habits gained from an aspect of your life can in fact become second nature to all areas of your life. Some guys who get into pu will force themselves, through a scripted act, to make physical contact during exchanges with women but this is not who they are.

My suggestion was to make a habit of 'feeling everything' more. Gain an interest in how things feel and begin to appreciate it. There are chefs who like to 'feel' their food more than others. There are physicians who are more interactive with their patients through 'touch' more than others. It's just a habit . . . and you know people who are this way. Girls who are comfortable with 'touch' tend to feel everything when they go shopping: Leather, cashmere, silk, etc . . . Just make 'touch' a part of your life.

Regarding the "multiple switches" . . . I only brought it up because of the advice you were getting to 'switch topics'. Basically, I start off with a pull-out-of-the-sky guess for the girl's character: Who is she? Why is she here? What does she want? What are her fears? Then I cater to that particular audience. As her story unfolds through conversation, I will shift gears to better match the 'developing character'. (This is pretty much what a low level Las Vegas astrologist will do with her clients) And it might seem confusing but any low level astrologist will tell you that there aren't too many desires or concerns in the World. . . A handful really: Love, sex, money, career, family, etc . . .

In terms of PU, this forum is filled with what people 'think' women desire: alpha, humor, sexual tension, etc . . . Many guys tend to grab 'one of these' things and use it as a ramrod in attempt to storm the castle. The idea is to introduce a few of these things to see what gets her to lower the draw bridge.

*Start off with one routine . . .anything, something that is beyond a casual chit chat and own it. For now, you can make this # close as platonic as you'd like, "I'll send you beach photos from Brazil". . . Just start making simple # closes and make friends. You'll need to figure out for yourself that this is just what people do. . . otherwise, there would be no reason for the telephone.

**There are people who suffer from anxieties but give one guy a violin, put him up on stage, and he looks incredibly comfortable. Some are shy in front of a camera but give some guy a football and a uniform and he's very comfortable. Figure out what makes you comfortable. And if possible, bring it with you. Whether this is a mindset or a prop, bring it with you. (A piano probably wouldn't work . . . but it can . . .)

Habits. That's the word I should have used instead of reflex in the other post. Once you have the right word, the solution goes without saying.

I understood for the touch habit.
That's the checkpoint I'm going to: #close. Unfortunately, I take the plane Wednesday, I won't have enough time to do that.
Really hard question here. I'll think about it.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Love that.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 36: keeping working.
A little game session and a little thought about cold approach.

Just a small post to tell you that I have work a little on my game today. Yesterday showed me how inconstant I was: being tired was enough to screw my the "good" game I was having recently. I slept well and decided to go out a little in the afternoon.

I've been out 1h30. I went to a mall and opened 5 employees to keep working in the conversation stuff. I stayed more than 10 minutes speaking with each of them. That was just a little practice and not an actual sarging session, so I set up no goal.

On cold approach.
I do need to become more sexual though: think about sex while approaching, hold the tension... I've just had a conversation with galaxy_pua in the chat. It seems like the conversation does not even really matters, it's just about having enough time to make her feel the "vibe" of your body language and eye-contact. I was missing that one thing: eye contact and body language are actually THE key elements.

Time for me to sleep. Last chance to do some game in France tomorrow.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Come on . . . this is simple! What about the camera you have in your photo? Looks like a fancy little toy to me. You bring that around, take photos . . . and even while you chat you go, "Wait a second . . ." - snap, snap. You know your camera don't you? The lens, the memory, speed, etc . . . Wouldn't you feel comfortable chatting and using your camera in front of others? Where would you like to travel to take photos? Where have you already been? A passport alone can spark a great conversation.
^Not that this is wrong but I believe most guys believe in 'sex, sex, sex' because this is the way THEY FUNCTION. They can't imagine that another person (a woman) cannot be turned on by crazy porn and highly sexual, extroverted chats about sex.

To me, creating a "CONNECTION" is more important than escalating sexuality. Even the freakiest chicks get turned on through some sort of emotional connection. Once you have that, everything becomes a green light.

Guess you're right!
I do think like you and I'm not in that state of mind either. What I'm saying, as you understood, is that I think that having a sexual tension in me while I approach is a good thing. In other word, being "turned on" will maybe prevent me from the most basic friendly conversations. Yet, for now, I really don't feel that "sexual tension" I may have experienced with pleasure on some of my first sarging sessions. I guess it will come back with Brazil.
Sure! I'm going a little fast here about the all "body language and eye contact is THE shit!". I was just wondering how to set up a sexual/seduction frame with a "target" (don't like that word). I understood how body language and eye contact were crucial for that. I thought it was just about showing that you're not affraid of talking to a girl, that you're a man... but it's more than that. I should use both of these "skills" on purpose.

In general, I realized I'm too RATIONAL. I should be crazier.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 37: last game session in Paris.
Playing on the Champs-Elysées.

Another small report for today. Once again, I'm leaving soon for São Paulo so I can't afford spending a whole afternoon sarging. Yet, I had to go get my visa in Paris today, so I had the opportunity to do some game. No goal set up again, it was just about having fun. Since the consulate was near the Champs-Elysées, I went there to play.

I was really confident today... I was thinking about planes. I love taking planes, and knowing that I'm goind to a new destination makes me happy. I approached a bit more than 10 girls focusing on the moment and enjoying myself: eye contact, body language... Again, I mostly approached employees (next step in São Paulo: strangers, I should have done this a long time ago!) but this time I used several openers... the scarf one allowed me to warm up a little. Later, I opened a girl at Sephora with "Do you know where I can find make-up for man?"... She took it seriously but I laughed and told her I was joking. We started a conversation on that and I switched topic to a product I was looking for. I have to work on that kind of opener, be better at it. I've been good today at making their laugh... and most important, I enjoyed even more.



On plane and airports.
I take the plane Wednesday evening. I'll finish The Power of Now and start to read 60 years of challenge during the flight. Since I'll spend some time at the Roma airport, maybe I'll approach some girls there.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Hey AFC Daniel. I've been reading your posts for the past months and I gotta tell you, this is one of the best posts i've ever read. You've gone so far since the beginning. Keep it up!

The irony about the post with approaching non-employees at the mall is that, although I'm still new to PU, I was in the same exact situations since I've been in the Game until I tried the crash and burn theory today at the mall (its also in the Stylelife 30 day challenge which I'm also doing too). Before, I could approach employees fine, but struggled greatly approaching non-employees.

If you haven't done so yet, try going out with the goal of getting rejected for a while. After several times, it will begin to desensitize you from fearing rejection and caring what others think about you. For me, it made approaching non-employees a lot easier, despite the fact I got weird looks at me today.
That's my two cents...

I'm going there yes! But I got to start all over in Portuguese since I'm in Brazil now!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Oi!

Just a quick post to say that I've arrived in Brazil. Girls are so hot here.
I don't have internet on a regular basis right now but I'll have it tomorrow. Stay tuned.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 38: first day in Brazil, first number close.
First number close in Portuguese!

Hi guys, as an exception, this field report won't be like the last ones. Since it was my first day in São Paulo, I wanted to go out as much as I could and enjoy the pool and other activities from the hotel. I did not set up any goal, I just wanted to feel the city and feed my inner game.

Old school field report.

Being in Brazil.
I love this country. São Paulo is an amazing city. There's so much energy here. HBs are everywhere... and you know what, they show skin! I love that.

Speaking Portuguese.
I do speak Portuguese, so I understand 90% of what is said here, but i have to confess that my Portuguese accent is hardly understood but I'll work on it. The first thing I wanted to do is to actually speak Portuguese. Back then, when I was an AFC, I would have been scared of speaking it... but that was not the case. I needed I swimsuit so I went to several store and actually ask for it. I went to Adidas, Tommy Hilfiger... and spoke to HBs, looking in their eyes. Same thing at the hotel, I did not hesitate a second to ask the receptionist. I also opened a non-employee for directions.

On my inner game.
I feel good here, in a new playground to discover. Speaking Portuguese is great. It makes me feel home. This city is full of skyscrapers. I've never told you but I love architecture, it's a real pleasure for me to discover the city. I can' wait to take some pictures of it. I've swimmed a little, enjoyed my hotel room... That's good.
Yet, my inner game has been challenged today. I came across a picture of my ex with her new boyfriend on Facebook. I'm not going to lie, I felt sad and angry on the moment. But that actually made me go out to sarge and push my limits. Once I was out, I actually calmed down a little.
> Is it my mental creating anger for me to go out and then calming me down when it felt threatened because I wanted to approach?
> Is it just that my inner game is getting better and better?

My first real number-close.
I was near Oscar Freire street, the most expensive street of South America. That where all the luxury shops are. I was confident and in a good state of mind: I wanted to do something after seeing that picture. Is that a good urge? I don't know... But I was not angry or frustrated at all on the streets. I missed a few windows of opportunity but I was focused on the moment. I went to a grocery store to buy some coke and started to come back home. I was behind a girl that seemed beautiful, she was listenning to her iPod. I catched up with her and was now in front of her. I had the Approach Excitement in me, I knew that it was a good opportunity. Yet, I did not know if she was beautiful or not, but I noticed that all the guys on the road were looking behind me. What the hell, I went for it.



I wanted to play the "I'm French" card so I opened in English.
ME - Hi! (waiting for her to notice me and take her iPod off) Do you speak English?
HER - Yes I do.
ME - I've just came from France and I was looking for good places to hang out.
I saw a spark on her eyes. We stopped to speak about that and then she offered me to walk with her. I introduced myself We spoke about ourselves, she is student in the exact same University. She plays handball and studies French. She is easily an 8. I spoke English, Portuguese and French with her. In the end she actually spoke about seing each other at the University, I told her to give me her number so I would text her when I'll get a cellphone.

IOIs:
- she asked me to walk with her
- we shake hands (I've not noticed if she squeezed or not, I got to get the habit)
- she KINOed me back
- she actually asked for my Facebook
- she accepted to kiss to say goodbye
- she smiled a lot
- she offered me to work my Portuguese with her.

NOW?
- I'm adding her on Facebook right now. I'll use Facebook (or her number) to try to organize a date with her in the next days.
- I think I'll ask her "hey, I'm going to the park to take some pictures but don't really how to go there, could you help me? (play the photograph card) By the way you can come"
- What to expect from such a date? Kiss close? Damn I need material here too.. KINO escalation and some French I think.
- I was not SEXUAL at all but FRIENDLY (damn), I need to be on a sexual next time I see her.
- I'm getting out there tomorrow too to numb close again.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Very nice Daniel - really good.

It actually shows you're improving a lot. Good conversation - nice summarization of IOI's. She got something for you.. now build on it.

≠ LD

_________________
Founder & coach at Dance 2 Seduce -- contact me for more information.

FREE coaching advice on Fridays from 22PM to 23PM at the MPUA chatroom.