Hi everyone, so I am new here, I have been interested in PUA for a couple of months now, I started reading some books and most of all it's been going good. Now I am getting a lot of IOIs from different women in a daily basis, however, I've been to a couple of dates and although they have felt good, I have not yet getting good follow-up. Well, I hope it is just a matter of time before I stop being an AFC.


So here is what happened last night.

I was out with a friend, we were going clubbing and drove to pick up some girls (friends of him, I'm not living in my hometown right now so I did not know them).
It turned out to be 4 girls, one was a HB9, really pretty.

As soon as they got in the car I started talking with all of them, doing lots of jokes and throwing some negs. (Big DHV, I thought) At the same time I noticed my friend being much more laid back and relaxed.

When we got to the club, I started to talk with HB9 who most of the time had been talking over the phone, she seemed to have a little attitude trouble, but I'm OK with that. I talked to her, cracked some jokes and called on her behavior.

The outisde of the club was cramped and she was not really comfortable with all the people around, so she grabbed my arm while we were trying to enter. I used the chance to talk to her and do little simple kine like touching her arm and fingers back. Although we were talking, I noticed I could not keep her attention. Neg'd a couple of time but it didn´t change the situation.

At the end we did not enter the club and the six of us went for quick dinner. There I noticed she was not paying much attention to any of us, so I just tried to keep conversation casual without advancing.

After that we hit another club and that was when it got lost, I tried to have her qualify herself but she kept subtly ignoring me. So I just forgot about it and went fliting with the other 3.

In that moment I noticed they were in a bad mood, neither of them wanted to drink and they were not very receptive, so I had to take a decision: 1)either push them and have fun for myself or 2) leave them alone and have a crappy night. So I went with option 1, at least i would have fun.

At the end of the night after some so-so conversation, I noticed my friend had already isolate HB9 and was doing good kino on her.

When they left, I asked him. What did you do to make her receptive? I just want to understand and have these things clear.
He told he wasn´t sure he did anything in special, but adviced me that even from the start of the evening I was too dominant, I was trying to make the girls forcefully feel in a party mood and do things my way.
He adviced me to let them have fun themselves and then just join them.

I just want to hear your oppinion on all this, it will greatly help me improve.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

It depends dude.
It really depends on the girls.
No one here can give you the correct answer aside from you.

The fact is your friend sounds like he simply got lucky.

Most surely you are right, I've done this kind of "forcing the party" before and it have worked, but with very different girls.

So, have you ever felt that you are "forcing" the people to have a good time?
I think that if I have that feeling then I am doing something wrong.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

You tied too hard man. Any girl that is slightly attractive has every guy at any party/club trying to get her to drink (drunk) and to party. This comes accross as too needy. Think abundance! There had to be at least a few other females you could have targeted at the club you were at, but you got too focused in on those girls, and they could tell. They would of been much more attracted to you at the end of the night if they saw you dancing with several other attractive women.

And your friend sounds like he either already had attraction built with the HB9 before this night, or she just went after him because you came accross as too needy and he played it cool.

Next time try building some comfort then ejecting for a bit to talk to other females, then come back. Rinse, repeat, get girls. Good luck bro.

Mmmm, too needy?? That seems to be a milestone I keep bumping at.

Any good advice?
Reading books won't help, I have read like 10 of them.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

Heres my 2 cents

Being the outsider in your set you should have gone and built social proof as soon as you could. show them you can go out and make new friends. constantly thinking about building social proof away from your target will make you seem less needy and hell you may have found a more receptive target or at least found some people to get drunk with and have a good time with. i would also say check out some stuff on direct game. when she took your arm you should have built some sexual tension and escalated quickly.

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Heres to our children, may their fathers be rich and their mother be beautiful

I had similar problems to this, don't worry too much about it. One mindset that helped me a lot with the game was to always remember: Every guy has to put in HIS OWN WORK, including finding his own women to initiate. I used this as kind of a test to challenge myself. I would of used the women your friend brought as a pivot in to other women at the club, although it would of been hard in this situation with the HB9 and I probably would of just ditched her for a bit.

Focus more on how YOU are feeling throughout the night as well. You were very perceptive of the HB9's mood and actions (too perceptive) when you should of been making sure you are having fun. I can tell you started feeling some negative energy, and you tried to force it in to positive energy, but next time just eject. When she persisted in ignoring you and being rude, you should of said something like: "It seems like you have something else on your mind tonight, so I'm going to go make some new friends, I hope you feel better later when we meet up." Then walk off and go talk to some new people. Don't EVER let ANYONE else ruin your night or make you feel bad man, and when you start feeling this way, politely get away from that person.

I think you are right.

From now on, when I go out, I will care first for me having a good time and then other people.
If HBs are not helping having a good night i will just look for another one.

Take care!!

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives