Actually, something more useful - whether you are aware or not - not bein able to have a conversation is an insecurity. You may say you're comfortable with yourself etc but if you're spending the conversation one wondering what to say next, that's an insecurity. Ideally you should be relaxing into the moment, allowing yourself to make observations about the surroundings, current events, the person you're talking to, and the things they're saying.

I respectfully disagree with the first post.

Too much emphasis and enthusiasm makes you sound like a premature ejaculator. No offense.
I think if you don't have an interesting story to share, don't share. If you try to make it into something it's not, it comes off as sounding desperate.

Women are attracted to calm, and collected alpha males. Not circus clowns that try to talk with an exaggerated tone.

Of course, I don't support complete monotone. I advise that you match the energy in the conversation. Too much and she's going to think you are a weirdo, too little and she's going to think your boring.

What I find really helpful is BE SINCERE. Faking interest is stupidly hard. Be truly involved in the conversation and it will take on a life of its own. Then, you don't have to make boring stories interesting or worry about how you are talking.

Hope that helps.

Do not find a topic that interests just YOU, that you can talk about all night unless it is something they can listen about all night long. ow about you walk up to a physicist and tell him to talk about what interests him all night long. Or how about walk up and talk about your favorite sport.

What interests you is good, but the conversation can only keep going if they are interested in it.

I went to Disneyland with some friends a few years back, I was going to get on the ride star tours. Some guy is sitting there talking about Star Wars, he was talking about how George Lucas is at the beginning of the ride on the screen. This was a hot girl not at all interested in what he could talk about all night long. You had to see this girls face, like is he seriously going to talk about Star Wars with me?

I started laughing we were chit chatting with them, they were in front of us and he was doing fine until this conversation went that route. My buddy and I looked at each other he goes over and he tells me "Wow! This guy is flopping it hard."

This is a lesson you should learn from.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

You are full of shit. Women are attracted to guys with confidence, guys who talk and joke a lot make girls laugh, make them have fun. I am a guy that is high energy, I ain't exactly a square with girls. I joke around and blow things out of proportion like a clown all the time.

Calm attracted alpha males, it is good to be "ALPHA" but far too many guys on here thinks that you have be a testosterone asshole to be "Alpha". Alpha is the most miss perceived thing in pick up, everyone thinks you have to be this dominant guy that sits there and takes from everyone. Who pushes people out the loop with a dominance. People don't realize ALPHA is not personality related, it is confidence, mentality, and body language related. If you are a quiet guy then be a quiet guy with confidence, if you are a goofy guy be goofy, if you are a fun guy be fun, just be confident.

You know how many girls who liked me I told "hey I am just some goofy kid", they go girls love goofy. You seem to be perceiving Alpha incorrectly, it is not to be some annoying asshole who doesn't say thank you or sorry. It is someone who acts like a Man and not a little boy.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Well there's truth to both your posts. Dude with a stick is right that you need to be confident about what you're goin to say, but that doesn't nessecarily mean a mind-blowing topic.

You genuinely have to be behind what you're about to say. It could be mundane, but if you know you're about to make it funny and get people to relate to it, it will be great.

For example last week at work, all I did was have a little rant about leaving my shopping on the bus, and people were mildly amused at my misfortune, one guy even tallied how much money I lost. That's a pretty mundane event, but because of my enthusiasm in my rant, people felt compelled to empathize, and make a few jokes. Most people can relate to something like that happening.

So you don't nessecarily have to have an awesome topic, but you do have to already know beforehand that you can get behind it and confidently display the right level of enthusiasm.

People spend time with hgih energy people, especially when they are young and haven't gotten bored of the "He's so crazy LOL" shtick.

Now that can help you reel people in, and in some cases in can be your attractive quality, but to say women want some clown as an objective trait in womens sexuality is a little mis-leading.

I'd disagree that "Alpha-ness" is based on confidence and body-language.

The Alpha-Beta thing is a relationship between one being and another, and it can't really be reduced down to "have confidence". There are more complex social/proffessional/financial heirarchies at play here.

Yeah I agree, I lined up the second sentence incorrectly. I mean to defend the fact that women/girls like goofy kids. I meant to say this.

Women are attracted to guys with confidence. Separately: Guys who talk and joke a lot make girls laugh, make them have fun. That isn't a bad thing.

I agree that the Alpha-Beta thing is very difficult to describe. I stated things far to bluntly. I apologize for that.

I don't want to get into the Alpha-Beta talk, I just thought it was ridiculous to say: Women are attracted to calm, and collected alpha males. Not circus clowns that try to talk with an exaggerated tone.

That is a very far fetched statement. Girls like all types, but girls especially at the very least enjoy the company of someone who can make them laugh. Most of the couples I have met where they were an aesthetically unbalanced, balanced it somehow and if it wasn't financially related it was character related. One of the most attractive women that comes in my work loves her husband because he is funny. She is the better looking person in the relationship.

Why do comedians get girls quite often? They make girls laugh, half the comedians have these drop dead gorgeous wives, and not all of them match their spouse aesthetically. They certainly weren't making good money when they met quite of few of their wives(not that they make great money anyways until they break into movies). I am sorry but whatever you have if that is funny, quiet, intellectual, good looking, witty, you can make it work with some confidence and good body language.

You better have multiple dimensions, you can't be a goof ball all the time, you can't be serious all the time, you should have multiple dimensions. They should realize you are a responsible adult, but that you enjoy having fun. I just don't want people thinking they should go out and suppress their personality because someone said girls like a quiet confident guy. That is true because they are cryptic and intriguing, but you can be fun, intriguing, and cryptic too.

Perhaps I am wrong but it has worked for me and several others I've seen. So I will continue to use what has worked for me.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

How many comics do you know? I do stand up comedy as a hobby and I've met and I'm friends with a couple of proffessionals... and guess what?

Your average proffessional comedian, spends most of his time broke, if he has a gf she's usually pretty average, and he spends most of his time traveling via shitty public transport crashing at 1 star hotels for badly paid gigs.

Comedians unless they are famous do not have lifestyle filled with hot girls and everyone wanting to be there friend, those are traits that come with fame.

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It's strange that you lump high energy and goofy with "fun"...

Alot of kids here cling to the idea of "Hey I'm a crazy guy whos upbeat and chirpy".. in reality it's just they are highly re-active individuals who make social blunders and have found a persona to blame it on.

"Hey it's not that I have the social skills of an autistic monkey! It's that I'm a crazy fun guy!"

Yeah perhaps I was using to much of the more successful comedians, which does involved a certain amount of fame. I can't imagine to many people at your local open mic night to be as successful, sometimes they are using it as prop to get comfortable in front of crowds. Other times it may be to learn to become funnier. I also believe some of the comedians, in fact a larger portion then we realize lack confidence and self-esteem. I've just seen some of the uglier comedians out their with some fly wives. Hard to figure unless they were attracted to his character, comedians in most cases never make a lot of money. They may make ok money, but the majority won't be out buying a Porsche or BMW.



I don't necessarily lump in high energy with fun. However, high energy in a lot of circumstances can be quite entertaining. Jim Carey is great example of a someone who is high energy but fun. I suppose it was a bad concept to think of high energy as fun, in a lot of environments it isn't socially acceptable and that also need to come into play as how useful it is to them.

I guess, I was thinking more of a certain amount of energy(more then most) but not too much can raise the mood of a lot of people you come in contact with. You can't be an idiot, and I think that is the message I am conveying though. Everything has it's limits. I don't think you should sit there and dance around like a moron, but I think it may be a good idea to have some energy.

There is no need for extremes, too quiet or too little energy, too much to say, and too much energy all can be bad. Too much takes away as they say.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

My take on this is that from experience, right now, Im sitting here on this computer looking for some kind of magical answer to making me more interesting and less boring, thinking I need to make shit up for my convo to sound like I got a life to convey to girls so they find me attractive.
Fact of the matter is sitting here doing this shit means I AM boring, making myself frustrated, doing nothing more than searching for an answer when what im actually doing now is MAKING myself boring.
When I lived at a mates house after leaving home a few years ago, I was ALWAYS on edge, had no privacy, had no choice but to socialise (with mate even when I felt like being on my own), and HAD to make the effort to talk to non-family members every night!
When I went out (always with someone) I was fired up before going out, having a great laugh as we got on really well, and I was spontaneous and non-needy, the thought of getting a girl hardly entered my mind and every where I went there was some girl noticed me because I WAS fucking having fun and was interesting before I even opened my mouth to talk to her. She was allready interested big-time!
I cant re-create this scenario now as have own house and a dog but my whole 24 hour lifestyle matters to how I come across in the world so getting a central nervous system stimulating lifestyle in my opinion is key to being 'interesting' as your always fired up and ready without somebody telling me I have to be.
Im sure this is real so my advice is GET FRIENDS you know you really can have fun with and enjoy their company, get fired up about how it sucks to be single, go out and have a fucking good laugh with yer mate which will make you forget about women but make you attractive to them at the same time and look for those girls attracted and approach. Thats what Im going through but its not field tested yet - I just know it will work from past experience.
Pierce