Met a woman in a bar a few weeks ago. F-closed her last Tuesday night. Because of schedules, we weren't able to see each other again until last night...seven days later.

So, I call her up around 4:00 and leave a VM for her to call me back. She returned my call around 6:30 or so. I was headed to gym and she was heading to bowling league. I told her I'd give her a call as soon as I got home from gym and we'd go from there.

Call her after gym...vm...leave a message. On the phone with another girlfriend when she calls back. She leaves a message that her and her friends are headed to a pub. I call her back and push for another venue but she's pretty hung up on this pub. Ok, fine. No big deal since I've already F-Closed her...at least that's what I thought.

So I show up at the pub and she's being really nice. Her and her friends keep having shop talk conversations that I can't participate in, but it's no big deal. About an hour in, I head to the men's room. I come back and her chair is empty. I start converstion with her friends and the conversation is flowing smoothly. A few minutes go by. Eventually, I'd guess after 15 mintues or so, I ask her friend "Hey, where did your friend go." She points to her friend. I look over and this girl is at the bar talking to another guy. He's got his hand on the small of her back and she's kino'ing him by touching his arm.

Man I lost it. It just PISSED me off. I stood up, grabbed my wallet, threw a couple twenties down and said "That's bullshit. I'm outa here." I walked out and headed home. Her friends obviously knew I was pissed.

I guess I was thinking she would chase, but she didn't. I assumed I'd get a phone call shortly after leaving this place, but there was nothing.

I should have walked over to the bar and confronted her about it or not said anything and just kissed her on the lips right in front of this other guy.

It's a tough shit test and I failed. But I guess if she's gonna act like she's in fuckin' junior high, I'm not missing anything.

What would you guys have done in this situation?

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

Crazy thing is, I I just decided to narrow down my girlfriend count from 5 to 2 and she was one of the keepers. I'd like to keep her.

I figure I'll leave a voice mail with her today:

"Hey, listen...you're behaviour last night was totally unacceptable. You were rude, immature and just downright mean. I've done nothing to deserve that kind of SPAM from you.

So here's what you're gonna do. If you wanna see me again, you're gonna call me tonight between 9 and 10 o'clock, and we're gonna go over some basic ground rules. Honestly, I can't even believe I have to do this with you, but I guess it's necessary.

You know, most guys would probably just be done with you after last night, but for whatever reason, I'm still interested in you. I dunno, I guess I'm human. I didn't come with a fucking instruction manual. What can I say, I'm attracted to you for some reason and I don't know why.

As for the Cowboys game Sunday, I was so pissed this morning, I've already invited someone else. Maybe next game you can go with me. Anyway, I'll be watching for your call tonight between 9 & 10 o'clock."

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

That would be a lame VM. It says needy, AFC, come back to me please. I don't have any other worthy options.

Plain and simple, she apparently is not one of the keepers. You also DLVed yourself when you threw 2 $20's down on the table. If she doesn't call you, let her go man.

If that was the case, you should have found sets to open up so you could have a conversation that you could participate in. You had the social proof and pre-selection thing already going for you.



With how you are acting, I doubt you have 5 other options. You seem like this is your one option and she dissed you to talk to another dude. What you should have done was open other sets and get other women's phone numbers.
Yeah, my guess is you made yourself look needy as fuck and insecure as hell. Which is exactly how I read and perceive this. (she will too)
Why? So you could have made yourself seem even more needier and insecure? Dude, if you have the options you claim, you should have called one up and hooked up elsewhere all the while having a smile on your face. In fact, I would have stayed and ran game on other girls. You had the social proof and pre-selection going on.
Welcome to the world of dating. Apparently you are doing something wrong.

sounds like you wanna stop playing the game. . . if so you automatically lose.

Keep playin brotha, take another HB to places this girl likes to go to. . . let her see that you do not NEED her - thats yer best shot. If you send that V mail she will think yer a punk ass AFC.

Please for the love of god tell me you didn't leave this message!!! Man, it screams I HAVE NO OPTIONS BUT YOU AND YOU HURT MY FEELINGS AND I"M NEEDY AS HELL! PAY ME ATTENTION!!" My guess is she won't be calling back after that message and i can't blame her, if some chick went psycho on me like that after 1 fuck session, she needs to fucking go.

You let her get you pissed. Think about that. A PUA doesn't allow a woman to get him pissed. Why? Because he's in control of his emotions. Even if he is pissed, she (or anybody else) will not know.

If you happen to talk to this girl again, I wouldn't bring up SHIT that happened in the pub. Don't say a god damn word. Trust me, calling a girl out like that is not in your best interest. If you don't believe me, then go ahead and tell me how that works out for you.

No, I don't think she'll call. Agree...time to move on.

Lesson: Never let a woman dictate venue for a meet up until you are WAY into comfort and already fucked her SEVERAL times. I knew it was a mistake for me to drive to a place of her choosing to hang with her and her friends. I thought because I f-closed her once last week it would be ok. Lesson learned. Move on.

As for this shit test, I went to an all woman forum and they have a rule for this.

Rule #87: From time to time, keep a man thinking he has to actually compete for your attention. When you go out with friends, give him some time and make him think you're really into him. Then, when he steps away or his attention is diverted by a full bladder or some other rival for his affections, choose a random guy and begin to flirt with him. Make sure the first guy sees it. Then don't take his calls for a week. This will either drive the first guy wild or send him off to ask other women why you're "just plain rude and mean." This is what a Rules Girl calls a "win-win."

FWIW, they's laughing at me over there too. They don't like the PUA business AT ALL. Not even a little bit.

Text book rule #87 last night. I mean, this is 100% what she did last night. No doubt in my mind.

She was obviously following some Cosmo tip or something. Oh well.

For future reference, I think the solution to this test is to walk up to your woman, grab her face and stick your toungue down her throat immediately upon identifying this test. This is the second time I've encountered this test since the first of July. Now I think I know what to do next time.

So it's a win-win for me too because now I know how to handle this shit test next time. If anyone has any better advice, I'm all ears.

I actually feel a lot better after reading "rule #87". Amazing!

I just wonder how many women have lost the guy they were trying to catch by following this ridiculous rule??? If she doesn't call me tonight between 9 & 10, she'll lose me for sure. Then again, I may have come across as needy and she's lost sexual attraction. Either way, she doesn't get the alpha male she wanted.

Another thing to learn from this: The shit tests are logical, not instinctive. They're reading their own "magic bullets" too.

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

gotta love it when the girls game u back
keeps us on are toes and keeps our game tight

let us know what happens with this one man


but if u really did leave that message - i cant imagine her calling back

gl

_________________
In addition to PU, I also offer my experience with psychological disorders (OCD, Depression, etc.) to the communitiy. Feel free to ask for help/advice via PM.
___________________
Love many>Trust few>Do wrong to none
___________________

ACE

Yeah...I left the VM. Oh well. She lost the guy she was trying to get with her stuid Cosmo stuff.

I know where she hangs out and I do really well in one of the venues. Made out with tons of chicks in there. I'll let her see what she's missing out on for sure!!!

So what do you guys think about this shit test??? Walk over to her, don't say a word, grab her cheek with your hand and stick your toungue down her throat in the middle of her whole "jealousy" plot. I think that will work to smash this stupid game in it's tracks. The AFC she's flirting with will turn tale and run and she'll be left not knowing WTF to do.

Other than that, opening other sets is your only option, but it better not be an all male set and you damn well better have success with a target or you will look bad...a blow out would be fatal here at this critical time.

I can't think of any other way to handle this one.

Pretending not to notice = AFC
Pretending not to care = AFC
Walking out = pretending not to care = AFC

If she was following some Casmo advice last night, and I think she was, she won't know how to handle my "call between 9 & 10" ultimatum. I am guessing the VM was too needy and she's lost sexual attraction, so it won't matter anyway.

Oh well, plenty of other women out there. This feeling of rejection just gets easier and easier to deal with once you understand what you did wrong.

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

i havent been in the game for long
but iv been in many situations where girls tried to use other guys to make me jealous - because they know im seeing other girls

to pretend not to be jealous - does not = AFC in my opinion
it has actually been one of my best DHV's

the 2 "FWB" situations i have right now- the girls have expressed having "feelings" for me i repeatedly tell them i dont want a serious relationship blablabla
then they both later on start talking about how their x's are trying to talk to them again

the most recent time this happened it went something like this:

hb: my x called me today
ace: yeah
hb: well he says he wants to see me again blablabla
ace: ok
hb: u dont even care do u!!?!
ace: why would i? i know that when ur with me u have fun, u like talking to me, u like hanging out, we have amazing sex blablabla why would i want to ruin any of that by getting jealous over some AFC begging you 2 take him back. If you really wanna hang out with him go for it - but i know ull just be thinking of me the whole time haha. Im not worried/threatened. i know iv set the bar pretty high for em.LOL

later on in the convo - she asked me how i made her "feel this way about u" so fast

long story short dude - turn the jealousy around on them
we are too fuckin alpha to be jealous
it is impossible for us to be jealous
i like keeping the kanye line in mind...
"there are a 1000 of you's, there's only one of me"

so actually i guess pretending to be jealous IS AFC
cuz we shouldnt actually BE jealous

_________________
In addition to PU, I also offer my experience with psychological disorders (OCD, Depression, etc.) to the communitiy. Feel free to ask for help/advice via PM.
___________________
Love many>Trust few>Do wrong to none
___________________

ACE

If that's the lesson you learned out of all this, then you didn't learn shit. Venue had 0 to do with this encounter. This encountered was blown because you went into AFC mode when you saw your last week lay talking to some other guy. You should have been hitting up sets the moment you were in the group and excluded you out of some of the conversations. Especially once you saw her flirting with another guy. It would have been on, and I would have openly gamed other women in front of her/near her. Hell, I would have introduced them to her. You have to play with the cards dealt. You could have used her as a "jealousy tool" for some other woman you were gaming.

She knew this without looking at Cosmo. Women are socially calibrated, men are not. (for the most part) She knows the game she needs to run, apparently you are the one that doesn't know how to run his.
Yo Mr. AFC, tell me how this works out for you. You think because you kiss her (even if she lets you??) that it'll stop her from being gamed by some other dude? You have a lot to learn. I told you exactly how to handle it. Going over there to begin with shows her actions bothered you and you were insecure about some other guy so you felt the need to stake your claim. (needy/insecure...not desirable traits)

What you do is open other sets at the bar (what i would have done) or pretend you got a call/text from your friends and are going to hit up another bar. Smile, act like shit isn't bothering you and you are on cloud 9, and that you are a high value man that has options. You displayed none of that.
You were given the advice on what to do. Listen to it or ignore it and continue being a AFC.
You mean it took you reading that shit to know that women do that kind of crap? Congrats I guess.
Well, if they react the way you do, then SHE WILL NOT WANT YOU. YOu make yourself seem insecure, needy and no woman wants a man like that. Sorry, but you just saved her sometime and she lost absolutely nothing.

I guess my confidence level isn't there yet. I feel jealousy when this happens right in front of my eyes. I have to learn how to deal with this situation. No better teacher than experience.

As for a verbal assault of jealousy, I think it's a little easier to handle than actually seeing your girl flirting and kino'ing another guy right in front of you.

I don't think it's AFC to set ground rules, though. For example, I never game other women in front of the woman I'm with if it's a D2. If it's the first day you meet her, I think it's ok, but after that, I think if you have to establish more attraction by exhibiting pre-selection, there's something wrong with either you or her. I also think it's just rude to accept phone calls from other women when you're on a D2 or even read and send text messages to other women. I think confronting a woman on this and setting up a ground rule on this establishes you as a leader.

As for the venue, I think that's a critical mistake. Never let the woman tell you where you're going. She wants to be led by her man, not allowed to dictate venue. I should have insisted on my choice of venue last night. My choice was a restaurant, not a pub. Don't you ever just "not feel" like being in a social mood? I did fine for the way I felt last night with her and her friends, but I didn't feel like opening sets. My venue would have totally pevented any of this shit from happening.

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

I don't know, saqcheck. It seems to me if she's into kino with another guy right in front of your eyes just a few feet away and you pretend to get a text or phone call and leave smiling...well, I guess it's good if you can fake a smile and it doesn't look fake. If you don't say anything to her on your way out, she's never gonna know you got a call or text because she's focused on some other guy. Either way, I think it seems to rank right up there with pretending not to notice or care, which I think would be AFC'ish.

As for opening other sets, like I said, if you don't feel it, you have to warm up for that. At least I do. I usually warm up with all male sets initially and then progress to mixed and all female sets. I just don't think opening up an all male set while your woman is kino'ing another guy a few feet away is the right thing to do either. I mean, that's your woman...the alpha male isn't gonna stand by and watch some other guy fuck his girl. At least, I don't think the alpha male would.

It's a tough test, that's for sure.

Maybe walk over, kiss her on the lips and tell her "Hey, I've gotta get going, I'll see you later", and then turn and walk away would be the best move. I don't know. But I do know if I dont' feel like opening other sets, I'm likely to get blown out. I usually have to warm up and get myself into a conversational mood first.

_________________
Later,
Alphagame

LOL, that depends on the male in question. You're right, unless the alpha TELLS the woman to fuck another guy . . .

One thing for sure...this is a very tough test to pass.

One common denominator for these tests that I've encountered: Both tests happened when I was with a woman AND her friends. If I'm out with a woman and it's just her and me, I can't imagine a woman pulling a stunt like this.

I just want to learn from this and be prepared for it to happen again. If it happens and I'm not in the right frame of mind to open other sets, I think the best solution is to approach her in the middle of her gig with the other guy, say "Hey, something just came up, I gotta get outta here." Grab her by the waste, kiss her and walk away. Then wait and see if she ever calls. Radio silence is key here, I think.

That's how I plan to handle it next time. Might not be the best plan, but I do much better when I at least have a plan.

_________________
Later,
Alphagame