I've had one-itis before. It's a terrible feeling if you can't get that one girl, but for the most part I can shed the attraction after a few weeks. I've had others that lasted a couple months, but was still able to get over them.

However, something that I haven't really seen discussed that's been plaguing me since I broke up with my first girlfriend is something I like to call First Love Syndrome.

My first girlfriend was my first everything; first kiss through lost virginity, first love, etc. We dated for 2.5 years in high school and at the time I was ready to spend my entire life with her (in retrospect, good that we didn't take the high school sweetheart path). I think part of the problem is that I matured considerably as a person while dating her, directly linking my personality to hers, causing a deeper than normal connection. Throughout college and now we remain friends. Yet, there's a part of me that's still infatuated with her. There's something about the way she looks at me, a little twinkle in her eye, and her playful/flirtatious nature that gets me every time.

Some of you may call this one-itis; it isn't, believe me. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm always going to love this girl. Don't get me wrong, I don't love this girl... some of you know what I mean.

Oh, and FYI, before anyone recommends sleeping with a bunch of girls to get over her, I'm in double digits since breaking up with her and nothing has changed... even when I've had girlfriends that I really liked.

So what do I do? I was at a party at her place last weekend and I caught her kissing another guy (who I later saw kissing at least three other girls over the course of the night, one of which forced me to knock out two of his teeth, but that's a different story). This made me feel awful, I almost threw up about seven times, and I had no appetite for two days.

I can't keep doing this. I want to continue being her friend, as we have a lot of fun together and she's one of my confidants, but I have to get over these feelings.

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about that can offer advice?

Grayson

Alright, I see where you're coming from and I can understand why you want to get over her, but it seems that simultaneosuly you don't really want to (in my opinion). Although you say that you need to get over her, is it because you TRULY want to move on OR is it because the community is somehow influencing you to forget her?

Think about this for a second -- learning how to pick up girls is something that should enhance your life. The rules and guidelines that so many people stress are only relative to your situation, meaning that you don't need to follow any of the rules if YOU do not believe that they will benefit your situation. The whole one-itis rule exists to maximize your chance of meeting other girls and eliminate the thought of any girls thay may hinder your performance in the field. When it comes down to deeper emotions, the actions you take are in your hands. Remember, if the choices that you make (or choices you don't make) do not make your life better according to you, then you're just hurting yourself. If you feel a compulsion to get back with her, I say do it.

But deep down if you really want to let go, then I say give it time and try to look for other people. << This isn't the advice you wanted to hear but what else can I say?

Staying at a level that is neither "with her" or "away from her" is really gonna mess with your mind and emotions. I've been through it before and I've lost sleep over these situations. You either go one way or the other -- there is no in between. SO I say, make the choice that will make you happy. This is going off on a tangent, but one day, when we're old we'll look back at these times and evaluate ourselves. Nobody wants to look back and regret their choices. This is your opportunity to make that choice. Will you look back at this situation and regret your actions say 50 years from now? That's the question that you should ask yourself.

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"This is your reality. It is what you make it"

you need to get rid of all the crap around your house that reminds you of her
and delete her number and stop hanging out with her
who cares if she was your first love
and if that doesnt help
forget about all the good times that you had with her
and start remembering all the times she insulted you; cheated on you; lied to you; stole from you; talked shit about you to her friends and family; remember all the bad shit she ever did to you

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People seeking to excel have continuous barriers to overcome.
~Live the life you love~