I know you guys are tired of hearing about my LTR problems but this one's been plaguing me:

Every little argument,fight(verbal)or disagreement we get into,she's quick to say,"Im done"!

She doesnt mean it because we've never actually broken up in our 2 years.

But guys,over the past week and a half,my MILF gf has broken up with me(verbally) 3 times(lol)!!

All following arguments.

I always manage to talk sense to her.Then after about a day of fall-out,we'd be back together again.

But after a while,one would begin to feel valueless having their gf or bf say so them after every argument,"I want to break up,Im done"!

It all comes down to her lack of respect for me and this LTR,that she can keep threatening break ups over BS.

I need to get my relationship- management skills & dominance up to speed.

But it's sought of hilarious when a gf says shit like that(break up),then the next day she's sleeping with you.

Women are just crazy-drama loving creatures.

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hahaha call her bluff!! if she says "thats it im done!"
just say "haha ok... byeeeeeeeeee "

i used to use that basic concept when i had a LTR... she started saying shit like "fuck this i cant do it any more... i think we need a break"
my response to this was "haha ok no worries but... just so you know... if you walk out that door then theres no coming back... no second chance rules here "
after that she'd be all sweet an apologize to me lol... i say call her bluff

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That's because the answer the people give you is always the same That's great.How many posts did you write on this forum about her in the past 2 years ? Yes,I knew that before you wrote this post Your relationship skills ? But what about her relationship skills ? Does she seem "skillful" to you ?Do you think she has a "solid inner game" perhaps ?
We can talk years on this forum about psychology,you'll reach the simple conclusion that when you're in a relationship it's not all up to you.
Ok now flash news: if you hang around with people who disrespect you,you allow to be disrespected.This may come to you as a surprise ,but the way you act... THE WAY YOU ACT DOES NOT IMPOSE A CHANGE
Ok,now let's do a imagination exercise : Imagine some of the top guys on this forum(moderators) having their girlfriend tell them 3 times a week she splits up with them.Funny one huh ? You know why it's funny to imagine that ? BECAUSE IT'S NEVER GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN, THAT'S WHY.THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE,WHEN PEOPLE STEP ON THEM THEY CAN TELL.
Ok perhaps they have more experience,but it's also introspection.Forget about writing long answers,forget about this forum for a while(because you heard what you need for over 100 times,you won't get any new information here) and start focusing on you.

I think there is another dynamic at play in this situation. You live on a tiny island, so there is more at stake when you play the game. The women know this, and use it to their advantage. Women can play little bullshit games because they know the choice of women is slim...working it out is a lot easier than just breaking it off. Shit, You gotta damn near go to another country just to get another bitch. lol

@Savlon-Lol,I definitely get what you're saying about calling her bluff.

I actually did it once about a year ago.

I went as far as to seeing another chicc.

After she fount out,she came running back crying to me.

So to call her bluff that way would definitely put her in checc.

As you said Avlon,she'd say things like,"Fuck this,I cant do this any more"!

But I never actually have the balls to call her bluff lately.

But great advise Savlon.

@Poet-Thanks for the insight;im gonna answer your questions 1 by 1:

1)I've written over 10 posts perhaps about her(our probs')over the past 8 months or so.

2)LTR is my weakest part of interractions between the sexes;I suck at LTR's.

But you're 1,000% correct,my gf sucks at it also!

Both of u have poor-LTR management skillsk;more so she does,so rather than be civil,her answer to everything is to opt out(break up).

Willingness to walk away is the point you were getting at when you spoke of guys who are more skilled in LTR's(maybe moderators).

I havent showed her that Im willing to walk away if she keeps up the BS threats.

Anyway,great post Poet,inner game is at the core of this.

Her inner game is super weak,and mines need to be ugraded.

Mr.Amazing-Lol,this has got to be the most 'spot on' & 'accurate' point I've ever come across on this forum(lol).

You are so right;the women on this island tend to treat their bf's like shit,for the fact that the availability of women is slim,opposed to a bigger country.

I see that women here take advantage of that knowledge.

So they tend to play more head games than the average women.

Like you said Mr.Amazing;"more at stake when you play games here".

Another awesomely accurate point you made,"it's easier to work it out than break it off".

Many times in the past,many guys on the forum would tell me just to break it off.

But they dont understand the dynamics in a small country(islands)as you do Mr.Amazing.

That's why I always chose to work it out than leaving her.

So women here tend to be the alpha males(lol)'cause they sesne that they have an advantage.

So doing pick up is actuall 100 times more challenging here than opposed to a bigger country.

You really pin pointed some psycological shit at play here.

Thanks for the advise guys.

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You THINK you suck at LTR because you are in one that SUCKS.

You wouldn't say that if you were in a propper LTR.

I told you before: get out of it and don't waste your time any longer mate. Come on.

@Apocalyptica-Good-simple eye-opening ponit.

If I was in a proper LTR,I would not say it sucks.

No one would.

Thanks for following my post;you'd given me some good advise in past posts.

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+1 to everything Poet said as well.

The ONLY correct response to the girl saying "we're done" is "ok see you later" while showing her the door. ANYTHING ELSE, from "talking sense into her" (i.e. pleading with her to reconsider) to getting angry to calling her a bitch, doesn't do ANY GOOD. None.

The more often she does it, and gets away with it, the MORE she'll do it, and keep doing it. She keeps picking fights because you ALLOW her to keep picking fights. She is testing your dominance and you are showing yourself to be WEAK.

You HAVE to show that, at any point, for even the smallest reason, you are perfectly happy to walk away forever. Her fear of losing YOU needs to be much stronger than your fear of losing her, and thus her motivation will be to please and respect you, rather than KNOW that she can disrespect you as much as she likes and KNOW that you'll put up with it regardless.

I learnt this lesson about 6 months ago with a girl who was completely my type and really really hot, but quite emotionally troubled. She had come out of an abusive and turbulent LTR and was really scared about getting hurt again. Quite early on, she tried to break up with me because I gave off too much of the player vibe and she needed commitment. Stupidly, I tried to convince her to stay with me for this and that reason and asked her to calm down and be reasonable. But that would only work for a little bit before she would do it all over again.

It wasn't until I said "I've have enough of this" firmly and stopped trying to convince her to be with me, that she became shocked and immediately started pleading with me to take her back and that she'd behave. I was then free to set the rules and terms of the relationship going forward, and accomplished a complete power reversal from pleading with her to stay, to dictating how she would act on my terms.

It lasted another few months until she said she initially thought she could handle the non-exclusive thing, but it was starting to be too difficult for her. I said goodbye again. She lasted about a week before calling me and saying she still really really fancied me and couldn't stop thinking about me and would I please reconsider and she promised she'd accept the open relationship thing.

In these instances, my power to dictate the terms came from my willingness to put an end to her behaviour and walk away if necessary.

Whether you want to stay with her or not, the BEST thing you can do is tell HER "it's over" next time around.

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@Blondguy-Agreed totally.

Hey,Im starting to believe that you're really AFC Adams(lol).

Reveal yourself Adam Lyons(lol).

Both of yall are blonds and both from UK(lol).

Anyway I agree with 99% of what you said as usual.

I havent showed her that Im willing to walk away.

She senes that imblance so she calls my bluff.

During our whole 2 years,I'd showed that williness to walk only once.

She told me we were done.

I hooked up with another chicc a week later.

My gf came back to me crying and actually on her knees begging to take her bacc.

So showing willingness to leave will work since I've done it before.

But some how,she's gotten me by the balls as of late(lol).

She senses that Im not as dominant nor strong to pull an alpha move again.

Women are really brilliant at reading men.

She is testing my dominance and I've been a pussy.

Guys I admit to all this;my shit isnt to where it should be.

For any small reason,she's showing willingness & ball to leave.

When it should be me having that power.

It's a power struggle and she's up 80 to 20 in this war.

An LTR should not come down to a power struggle but they do.

I know how to regain my manhod in this;I have to stop bitching & step up.

Thanks for the insight AFC Adam,I mean Blondguy(lol).

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@Blondguy-P.S.Wow,I thought I was unique with having LTR issues.

Just realize you stated having probs' in yours 6 months ago.

Thinking about it,our situations were similar.

I keep trying to convince her to stay after she says "break up" over BS.

I want to reverse this to be on my terms.

Only way to acheive that,is like what you did Blondguy.

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Sounds to me that you have the upper hand but you feel that you are grabbed by your balls. Interesting this is, how she treateans you and she stills come back, maybe thats a way for her to think she is in controll. This chick is playing mind games on you man :S

@Coldhands-Lol,definitely had me by the balls.

And so true also that she's playing mind games.

Confront her with that and she'd quickly dismiss it as expected.

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