| So I’ve been single for about six months now, after an extremely lengthy-LTR.
One of the first things I did after getting out of the relationship was to search about for a second-job. My day job pays reasonably well, but given that I’m now stuck with the apartment I used to split rent with my ex-GF on, and that I have a crippling load of student-loan debt to pay off, some sort of extra income seemed like a good idea.
I ended up working in a fine-dining restaurant. I chose this for a few reasons. Firstly, I worked in restaurants all through college, so I can pretty much go on autopilot when I’m on the floor. Secondly, the money is great with all the rich middle-aged folks in my town who love to eat out. Lastly, it seemed like a good way to meet some new people. Like most restaurants, it’s full of horny servers between the ages of 18 and 30 (my age group) who like to have a good time.
Over the past few months, I’ve become the go-to “sex guy” at my restaurant. By this I mean I’m the guy girls hookup with when they’re on a break from their boyfriends, when they haven’t got laid in a while, or when they’re just plain horny. Now restaurants are one of the most notoriously easy workplaces to get laid in, but I do feel that there are certain steps I’ve taken that have allowed me to rise to the top of the pack amongst the other dudes who work there. Here’s what I’ve come up with in terms of “tips” based on my recent experiences.
LOOK GOOD
This is basic PUA stuff, but it’s important to present the best version of yourself. We all know actual good looks don’t matter as much as how we present ourselves, but I will say that in a situation where girls are looking for a bit of fun, looks can be a little more important. Personally, I try to be one of the best groomed waiters when I’m on the floor. It’s good for tips and good for attraction as well. I wouldn’t say I’m the best looking guy at my restaurant by any means, but I’m amongst the better looking ones, and I’m definitely one of the most stylish.
Another thing I like to do is change into my server clothes when I get to work and change out of them when I leave. This way, the other servers see what kind of style I have in my normal life. As I come across as a very polite, well-groomed “young man” as a server (I went to boarding school in the UK for a while, so I’ll play up my toff-accent a bit), the contrast between this and my somewhat “indie” daily-dress style makes me a little more interesting.
BE SOCIAL...TO AN EXTENT
I am cool with everyone I work with, in all parts of the restaurant. I’m the only server who speaks decent Spanish, so I’m pretty tight with my Mexican amigos in the back. I shoot the shit with the chefs and go out of my way to make life easier for them (used to work line back in the day, know how much it can suck). And I’m kind of the social leader of the male servers. We go out and shoot pool, get drinks whatever. But where the other guys are often clamoring to persuade the new hot hostess to join us, I generally just announce I’m going to go to the bar/pool hall/etc, and then if anyone replies that they want to join me, that’s all good.
I also make it clear that I have a social life outside of the restaurant crowd. I have hobbies that I’ll give up a night of drinking with the restaurant crew to work on. And I have a lot of friends in other towns and states that I’ll go visit when I get the chance. So while people enjoy my company, they don’t know if or when they’re going to get it.
LISTEN TO THE GOSSIP, BUT STAY ABOVE IT
Restaurant people LOVE to bitch and whine about each other. It’s important to listen to the girls’ rants and tirades because it establishes a connection between you where they are telling you their feelings. On the other hand, I never offer too much feedback when their complaints seem petty (and god knows they usually do), and even more importantly I NEVER INSTIGATE GOSSIP OR DRAMA MYSELF. This let’s people know that A - I am relatively mature, and B - THAT I AM DISCREET.
BE GOOD AT YOUR JOB
I’m a pretty good server. I’ve had enough experience in the job that I should be. I don’t think this one is crucial, but when you’re spending long, frustrating hours with a group of people, you might as well be getting seen in as many positive lights as possible. When people are stuck in a job all day, they can’t help but respect someone who does their job well and doesn’t get stressed out about it the way many of them do.
BE A SEXUAL PERSON (BUT NOT A CREEPER)
There’s a fine line here (true of all PUA I suppose). You can’t be too much of a prude (I used to remain aloof from all the flirting that goes on in a restaurant. There were a few girls who had crushes on me because I seemed “unattainable” but it sure as hell didn’t help me actually GET LAID). You also don’t want to be too over the top. There are guys I work with who relentlessly hit on every new girl who comes into the place in the most sexual way possible, and while they more score with 30% of them, there is another 30% who might hookup with them while drunk but would be wholly-ashamed to let anyone find out about it, and a remainder who finds them to be just straight-up creepy. A big problem with these guys is that they never give the girl a chance to get over their ASD. They’re just too in their face with the sex thing all the time.
I stay somewhere in the middle. I’m not afraid to have physical contact with my female coworkers, and I’ll talk about sex openly if someone brings it up. It just comes across as something I’m comfortable with but not something I’m CONSTANTLY thinking about.
BE INTERESTING, BUT NORMAL
I’m a weird guy in a lot of ways, but I don’t think that has helped me at all when it comes to picking up girls at the restaurant. I think (while with my coworkers) I come across as a NORMAL guy who has a few interesting aspects to him, and that’s what restaurant girls want when they’re looking for a quick lay. They want someone whose not going to get all creepy after the hookup, or will bring them home to check out his PeeWee Herman bust collection before getting down to business. Especially if the girl is looking to have a little fun while on a break from a needy boyfriend (realllllllly common in restaurant servers), I find that being a normal, well-adjusted adult male who happens to enjoy flirting and sex is the best look possible.
That being said, it can be useful to have a few items of interest on display. One thing I notice is that while a girl may have decided that they’re going to fuck me way in advance of them actually coming back to my place, ASD can still crop up at the last minute. I have a pretty wide array of interests and hobbies (something I think a lot of successful PUAS share) and it really seems to justify to some girls that they’re not being “slutty” when they find something as inane as a well-known book they love or a DVD they also own on my shelves when they get to my place. Wow, I mean we must have some sort of connection then, even more so than me and those other bitchy girl servers we work with. Right?
BE THE GUY WHOSE AVAILABLE (BUT ONLY IN A SPECIFIC WAY)
I have an open-relationship with a girl in another town, and every girl I work with knows this. Also, to put things in Jersey Shore terms, I am for the most part DTF. Girls also know this. I am pretty much a no-risk situation for most of them. I will hookup with them, they will have a good time, and they won’t have to worry about me expecting anything more or being a problem when they inevitably get back with their boyfriend or start dating someone else at the restaurant. As we’ve all come to learn, it’s not just guys who want drama-free hookups with fun people.
BE DISCREET. THE GIRLS WILL PROVIDE THE SOCIAL PROOF
Don’t brag about any of your hookups. At a restaurant, the girls will gossip amongst themselves enough that word will get around. This is the best possible situation because you look like a guy who enjoys a good time rather than one who enjoys bragging about another notch on the bedpost.
DO GOOD WORK IN THE BEDROOM
This should go without saying, but this is kind of a social-reputation based game so you want your reputation to be GOOD. Girls talk, so let them talk about how you made their head explode from cumming 9 times rather than how the 15-seconds of limp-dicked thrusting wasn’t exactly how they’d imagined things would go down.
It may be that this is all just applicable to the restaurants I’ve worked in over the years (thought I’ve worked in a lot of them so I think it’s pretty universal, at least in the U.S.). It’s also pretty basic PUA stuff just translated into a specific situation. Still, I’d be curious to hear if anyone has also noticed these things or if they have anything else to add.
Later.
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CHAT