I met this girl, let's just name her P. I met her in a club and we kinda had one night stand, for no apparent reason, i decided to contact her again.
So we went out and stuff.. got to know each other better. had sex a couple of times. Then i learnt that she just broke up recently with her boyfriend. like during the Christmas period. Nonetheless, i kept to my rule of not talking about past relationships when i'm out with her.

She told me she has feelings for me and that she liked me. So i just remained passive. But i find it hard to believe her at times due to the fact that she tells me she hates people in the "scene"(scene is a term we use here to define those people who are filled with tatts, and wastes their lives on drugs and alcohol, does nothing but loiters at places, creating havoc and nuisance.) but she still hangs out with them. I tried to bring her away from them but they are like a drug to her, she just keeps going for more.

I got to admit that i do have feelings for this girl, after gaming for so long i met someone who isn't afraid of being themselves other than trying to suck up to me.

So i asked her one day what are we? she couldn't answer and i just popped up fuck buddies. and she hit me in the arm. (what does this mean?)


I don't mind getting into a relationship with her, but i really hope she stops hanging out with the scene people as i feel that they are really bad influence.

How can i make her fall for me more and make her my girlfriend?

Please advice! Thanks
p.s am i giving her too much value? i'm afraid that if i don't give her attention she might just run away.

First off, I believe this part of the board is for those in relationships, not for those seeking...but here is what I think about your situation.

She hangs with them because that is her comfort zone, it could be what she is used to and to get away would be hard especially if she has no alternative. Getting her away from that may be hard as mentioned...consider this...How much time does she spend with this "crowd"? Now, if there is no alternative...then who is she going to want to be with considering that person might be you? Is that ok with you?

Calling her a fuck buddy...funny but no...don't say that again to a girl you want to make more than just that. When you asked that question, you put her on the spot, had she not had feelings for you, she probably would have just said so...seems like she wanted to be with someone that could make that decision for her and state the obvious, but this is where I'm confused...
When you say "you don't mind", it sounds like you aren't sure about what you want.
Also, if she can't kick that crowd to the curb, it just may be something you will either need to deal with or say...sayonara!

There are no "buts" here and if you know what she is about, then accept that. Don't expect someone to change their behavior or friend status for you...but if they do, then consider it a bonus. That's like her asking you to change into something she wants in a man...what would you say to that?

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

Thanks for the inputs.

So what should i now? lets say you were me. you know that the crowd is bad influence what would you do?
So i shld be the one who defines the relationship?


p.s i might be meeting her tonight and stuff..

The thing is, I don't think she's going to change just for you, you can have a positive attitude towards the situation, but its not probable that she's going to change her social circle and friends, because you come into her life, some girls will change, but, most won't
I think you should just tell her how you feel, and see what happens, if you want a relationship that is

A person is the average of the 5 people that they spend the most of their time with. Who are the 5 people that she spends the most time with? Average them together and there she is.

OK so you have some sexual chemistry, that's fine. It's hard to have hard feelings for someone that is giving you orgasms but at some point you have to man-up and decide if this is a person that you want to be spending a significant portion of your time with. Do you want her to be one of your 5?

Since neither of you can decide what to call this "arraingment" that you have found yourself in, let's just call it 'dating.' Dating is a period of time that you spend to get to know someone and have them get to know you. At some point in dating there will come of moment of truth where you decide if this is a person that you want to become a significant part of your life and you pair-bond as a couple or you say, "it was fun and nice to get to know you but this isn't going any further. I wish you well." and then you each go on about your lives.

This really isn't complicated, it's binary - do you want this person to be a significant part of your life? Yes or no.

Never judge a women by her words, always by her actions. Her degrading of people in "the scene" yet hanging out with them is parallel to how girls always bash jerks yet sleep with them endlessly.

You should not bring up exclusivity with a girl first, she must be the one to bring it up. Your job is simply to play it cool and hang back.

If you want a girl to WANT to be your girlfriend, to chase you, then you need to build more social anxiety. She needs to feel that you are a GOOD CATCH and that another girl would quickly snatch you away if she ever dropped the ball with you. There is nothing more attractive to a girl that a man who is WANTED by other women.
this is a horrible frame to have, you are setting yourself up for needy and desperate behavior post-relationship. If you maintain this mentality, you will regress into AFC mode, and eliminate challenge for her.

YOU are the prize, you are alpha, you don't have time to give a girl endless attention because you're busy jumping out of airplanes and making money, and you don't care if a girl might "run away" because you have an ABUNDANCE mentality.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Never judge a women by her words, always by her actions.

Amen. I recently heard a girl say that a mutual friend of ours is 'creepy', but yet she is always flirty with him. Women are upside down, backwards and twisted.

I agree with the rest of Hakuna's post.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

Is jealousy a good game to play?

she's kinda the jealous type..

i kinda read her facebook recently.. i think her ex who broke up with her recently seems to want her back.. hmmm....

I don't rely on the jealousy card because it can back fire. Instead, focus on increasing your social status, increase your value.

Note: Don't try and save her from this crowd she is hanging with. If she wants to hang out them, f*ck it, let her. Don't make it YOUR problem. Your ability to separate yourself from dumb sh*t (like these people in the 'scene') will only increase your value.

She enjoys the excitement and drama associated with these people, that's why she hangs with them. Bring these 2 elements to the table, I guarantee you will get her attention then.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

now i have an ex-bf problem to handle..
like suddenly, we started talking lesser and lesser.. i dont know if it's me thinking too much or what.. but things have changed abit..

=(

anyone can give me some inputs?

ex-bf meaning her ex-bf?

Decide what you value, and where you draw the line. You do NOT value this "scene," so if you have to draw a line there, do so. If that puts her on the other side of the line, so be it. I won't date bisexual women. I have almost no rules about who I will date, but that's a rule. I haven't met a bi that has emotionally healthy attitudes towards men. I was once in a relationship with one who was pretty messed up about straight men. Years later I found myself "settling for bi chicks" because they seemed to be the only ones around that were interested in me. I didn't feel like I could get some HB8+ interested in me. Finally I said, "This is ridiculous, later for that. I'd sooner be single than put up with any more maladjusted bi chicks." I've stuck to my guns.

Getting laid and getting into a relationship are 2 different things. In a relationship, you must decide who you are, what you value, and what you will and will not put up with. You decide on your basics. Anything outside of that is OUT.

That bi ex I mentioned was into the hippie scene, the raver scene, the home gardening / composting scene, the bellydancing scene, and the Hindu Wicca worshiping scene. I tried the hippie and raver crowds; being mainly drug powered, they weren't for me. The other scenes, I wasn't interested in. So we had a problem of common interests, and also basic style of how to approach life. We'd wake up late Saturday morning. I'd want to go somewhere randomly, for adventure. Just go out the door. She'd want to go somewhere socially structured, where she was guaranteed to know people. Otherwise she was a homebody, not adventurous at all. Eventually we realized our basic incompatibility and broke up. Opposites may attract, but they definitely don't hold up over time. There has to be common ground that is good for both people, that isn't pushing one person away.

now some shit happened. one of her guy friend got mobbed by a group of people and she suspects it's me because she feels like someone's protecting her from other guys.

I told her that it wasn't me and she believed me. but the next day, one of the mobster got caught and she say that the guy who got caught happens to be a friend of mine in facebook and plays paintball too.

now she think i'm behind everything.

i told her off by saying if u think it's me then we shouldn't meet till u solve your problem. i can't go out feeling like a suspect.


was this the right way of dealing with it?
fml seriously.

Lol why are you wasting your time on this idiotic immature girl bro, I would've told her screw off, seriously... there's better women out there than this

Clarifying that better women are there is really has nothing to do with it, you fall for one person and thats all you see. But it sounds like this girl has comitment issues, even when you joke more or less with a girll that you are fuck bodies, even if she does not think you are in a reletionship they dont like beeing seen as that.