I have been seeing this girl for quite a while. I met her on a night out and basically ignored her the whole night while she spoke to my mates! Ended well and got her number. Phoned her the next day and we spoke most evenings on the phone.

We arranged a meet up/date on a comedy night 'i was planning on going to'.
I ended up going back to hers..which she kinda knew I had counted on! FClose.
She then pulled a sicky off work the next day to stay with me..we watched a few movies, went for dinner and drinks and I stayed that night too..so our first date lasted 2 days!

Everything has been goign really well, but she was always funny about seriousness..never admitting to missing anyone etc - its not just me - she says its just the way she is, and i believe her.

However...I dont think its possible not to miss something you enjoy..and i think she obviously did enjoy my company! From what I have grasped she must have had a bad experience in a relationship and so has a shield up to prevent her from falling into a relationship again and opening herself up.

We have had quite a few dates previously..all which went pretty much perfectly! Recently, she has stopped calling/if i call she doesn't call back..which she always used to - we were speaking most nights.

I am thinking that she has freaked out as she suddenly realised that very quickly, it had got quite serious..

Do you agree she has put up some kind of shield...and how can you suggest I get past it!?


Thanks

Jagermaster

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"I don't conquer...I submit" Giacomo Casanova

First off, I believe this part of the board is for those in relationships, not for those seeking...but here is what I think about your situation.

Elaborate on "Quite a while"?

If she just stopped calling you as in "no contact", dont be so quick to assume its you, something could have happened in her life and right now just may not be a good time for her to talk and be in a good mood.

Now, if she is giving you short answers or says she is busy and she will call you back but doesn't...then something is wrong. Best way to find out, ask.

Freezing her out may work but if she has a certain thought about how things are going between you two, the freezing will only prove she is right with her feelings.

In my opinion, if you really like her, go for her and ask then go from there...if you don't want to waste the effort...on to the next one but it sounds like you like her.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

Thanks for your reply dude.

By quite a while, I mean it had been like 2 months before she suddenly closed herself off..everything had moved pretty quickly (which was natural after a 2day first date i guess!)
I would consider it a relationship..it's whether she can admit to herelf that it is, and that really she does want to be in it thats the problem..

She does have a very very busy social life...a proper London girl, and has quite a demanding job, which is why she would say that she isn't calling...she's always says she doesnt want to make it official as she doesnt want to let me down.

We were both very busy over Christmas, so spoke less, and it has got worse from there...she has emailed and apologised for the lack of contact (and promised to call soon), blaming it that she's back into the swing of her hectic life...

The only thing is, she made time before Christmas, and she isn't now. I'm sure if I could meet up with her, she would realise again, that yes, I am actually worth making time for...its just how to get to this stage!

I don't think I've made contact in about a week, so have gone for a little freeze out, but I think in her head, even if she was missing me, she'd be justifying it and thinking, no, its better not to let him down, i'm too busy..almost making excuses to herself..

I think I'll probably try calling tonight..if she doesnt answer, maybe send her a text (she helped me with a job app and I got the job..which she doesnt know yet.. so I could text that I wanted to talk to her about the job)

If I dont get any response from that..I guess I'll have to leave it. What do you think?

Yeah..I do really like her..I'll be sulky for a while if she doesnt reply!

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"I don't conquer...I submit" Giacomo Casanova

p.s...love your signature..is that a famous quote..or a cedius original?

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"I don't conquer...I submit" Giacomo Casanova

Ok...use that...text her...Guess what...I got that job and Etc and we should celebrate, Im so excited...that should most definitely get you a reply, if not, then drop it there.
Leave it, she is either too busy or just doesn't want to get involved right now...if her life is hectic...a relationship will only complicate things...relationships require time and from what you say, she has very little.
You can sulk all you want...it's not going to help any...I learned that the hard way. Divert your energy into something useful...she doesn't want to reply...ok, I'll find a girl that will or hang with friends. It not only distracts the mind from feeling down, but also helps you deal with sensitive emotions. Don't get me wrong here, it's ok to have them but control them and never let a female see you sulk...very needed and NON ALPHA.

Not only post in the forums...but read some eye catching titles...you aren't the only guy out there and some of the guys here really have good insight!

Thx for the Sig...actually, a good bud/wing I met before my last LTR would give me advice...when he told me this about 2 weeks ago...I didn't ask where it came from because when I heard it...it hit me like a ton of bricks! It rang true for me.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.