Have I scared her off?



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 Post subject: Have I scared her off?
PostPosted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:28 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:23 pm
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Location: Bristol
I’m a 20 year male attending University in Bristol, but go back home to Southampton during the holidays, where I have a job. Anyway, me and this girl (who is 18 and so doesn’t go to Uni) from work were flirting by text for about a week before I left to return to Uni, this then led to me pulling her in a nightclub a few days before I left. Since my return to Bristol I’ve talked to her on facebook a few times and we arranged to meet up for a drink when I get back. All good so far.

AND THEN I PROCEEDED TO BLOW IT....

I was texting her on Wednesday night, when for some reason I decided it would be a clever idea to hint that she come to Bristol for a night out:

Me: Yeah Bristol is normally an epic night out :) you should try it sometime! xx

HB: Yeah I reckon it would be great. What places do you recommend? I will have to at some point in my life lol xx

Me: Errrm far too many places to name, it’s just that amazing :P so if you and your friends ever fancy a night out in Bristol then my house has plenty of sofas for people to crash on :) xx

HB: Sounds Good! Cheers. But I’m thinking we’ll have to stick to Southampton until my best friend is 18 which isn’t until August :( cos I’m doubting she’ll get in anywhere lol xx

Me: Ahahaha fair enough :) xx

And since this point, zero contact. I know it’s only been two days but surely she’d text me to if she liked me?

I know I jumped the gun and rushed things, so how can I rescue this situation? Although the story about her friend checks out, I’m still taking it as a rejection.

This is probably extremely amateur of me to even be bothering you guys with these questions, but I want to learn.

--Adamis--


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 5:18 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 12:12 pm
Posts: 330
No doesn't sound like you've scared her off, I don't see anything wrong with that. She might just be busy, or have no credit on her phone... You haven't jumped the gun or rushed anything, you've already fucked her haven't you? Also about her friend, she probably just doesn't want to come up and end up not being able to get in anywhere because her best friend is too young, that's not a rejection. Don't worry too much or overanalyse things like this, that's when you'll start getting needy and actually fucking things up. Just wait a few days and try again :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 6:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:23 pm
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Location: Bristol
Errrrm no, I havent slept with her yet.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 12:12 pm
Posts: 330
Oh... I thought that was what you meant by pulling her in a nightclub, sorry. But still, just be persistant, I don't see anything wrong with any of that, don't see why it would have scared her off.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:32 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:51 pm
Posts: 42
Location: South Africa, Westcliff
A LOT of girls will give you a 2nd or 3rd chance even if you completely mess up so long as you don't become a complete psycho and creep them out. It's why the guys teaching you don't mind if you over do the arrogance because there must be a reason you are arrogant to the girl which is to some degree positive.

Girls know we are clueless so they do grant second chances.
Just don't lose sight of your goal and training.

BTW I went to Bristol for one night whilst I was in the UK and it's gorgeous.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:28 pm 
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Location: Stranded in Hong Kong!
"Me: Ahahaha fair enough xx"

Not being harsh but what can she really reply to that? Ball's in her court.

There are plenty of nice places in Bristol (obviously not this time of the year!) to suggest rather than just going clubbing and then 'crashing' at yours.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:11 pm
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Quote:
I’m a 20 year male attending University in Bristol, but go back home to Southampton during the holidays, where I have a job. Anyway, me and this girl (who is 18 and so doesn’t go to Uni) from work were flirting by text for about a week before I left to return to Uni, this then led to me pulling her in a nightclub a few days before I left. Since my return to Bristol I’ve talked to her on facebook a few times and we arranged to meet up for a drink when I get back. All good so far.

AND THEN I PROCEEDED TO BLOW IT....

I was texting her on Wednesday night, when for some reason I decided it would be a clever idea to hint that she come to Bristol for a night out:

Me: Yeah Bristol is normally an epic night out :) you should try it sometime! xx

HB: Yeah I reckon it would be great. What places do you recommend? I will have to at some point in my life lol xx

Me: Errrm far too many places to name, it’s just that amazing :P so if you and your friends ever fancy a night out in Bristol then my house has plenty of sofas for people to crash on :) xx

HB: Sounds Good! Cheers. But I’m thinking we’ll have to stick to Southampton until my best friend is 18 which isn’t until August :( cos I’m doubting she’ll get in anywhere lol xx

Me: Ahahaha fair enough :) xx

And since this point, zero contact. I know it’s only been two days but surely she’d text me to if she liked me?

I know I jumped the gun and rushed things, so how can I rescue this situation? Although the story about her friend checks out, I’m still taking it as a rejection.

This is probably extremely amateur of me to even be bothering you guys with these questions, but I want to learn.

--Adamis--
"then my house has plenty of sofas for people to crash on Smile xx "

no.

Man, dont worry...we have all made mistakes like this...fuck it.
forget about her..go meet new girls at the library, bars , clubs, student life center, gym etc etc.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:23 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Bristol
Thanks everyone for your advice, very much appreciated. I think I'll keep texting and see what the vibe is when I get back home, whilst having fun in Bristol of course ;)


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